What I Would Do if I Cracked Down on this Punishments Thing

Welcome to another speed post! Today, I'm giving myself ten minutes to write and hope for some improvement since last times five-minute post. I thought that a perfect topic to quickly write about today would be, once again, those darn punishments which have been the root of so much debate here at What I Would Do. 

It is perhaps ironic that I was the first one to miss my post two days ago, and thus be the first to be eligible for punishment. However, Laura greatly helped me out by missing her post yesterday, meaning that I will have the pleasure of doling out the first punishment.

Now Laura, don't worry- this is just a small punishment, as we're still getting used to the rules. You're mission: listen to the entire Green Day album American Idiot within the next week, listening to all of the songs in order. You may then write up a quick review if you'd like, or you can simply walk away with a bunch of great new songs in your repertoire. That's all you have to do.

Perhaps you can take comfort in knowing that I, too, have a punishment awaiting me. I wonder, will you force me to finally read The Thief Lord? Perhaps listen to opera? I'll be anxiously awaiting the verdict until tomorrow.

In the meantime, I'm about to run out of time, so... see ya!

Thanks for reading,

-Mark

What I Would do if I Wrote 50 Prompts

I've been fighting the genius of this idea of Mark's for far too long, and I've finally caved. I really need to brainstorm a few ideas, and, on the plus side, I can provide the Russian robot with a preview of things to come:

1. What I would do if I went several weeks without my laptop (yes, this is happening, and it's killing me) - http://what-i-would-do.blogspot.ca/2015/05/what-i-would-do-if-i-went-several-weeks.html 
2. What I would do if I were caught in an avalanche
3. What I would do if I didn't go to Nepal
4. What I would do if I could teleport
5. What I would do if I could control the speed of time
6. What I would do if I could drink from that weirdass immortality spring from Tuck Everlasting
7. What I would do if I wrote every day for a few months (maybe including a word limit for each day)
8. What I would do if I took an hour of time for myself every day for a month
9. What I would do if I acted on my road rage
10. What I would do if I made a buzzfeed quiz
11. What I would do if I were on the Titanic
12. What I would do if I went to Hogwarts
13. What I would do if I could be in multiple places at once
14. What I would do if I were a photographer
15. What I would do if I could be any creature from The Lord of the Rings
16. What I would do if I were a female in the Indiana Jones movies
17. What I would do if I had photographic memory
18. What I would do if I remembered everything (or could choose what to remember, like Sherlock!)
19. What I would do if I had endless money and time to devote to adopted animals (aka Laura dreaming about adopting as many animals as in 101 Dalmatians)
20. What I would do if I had a servant
21. What I would do if I spoke my mind
22. What I would do if I did another buzz feed quiz
23. What I would do if I owned a restaurant
24. What I would do if I could voice a Disney princess
25. What I would do if I could have any Greek God as a "parent"
26. What I would do if I had to go out dancing - http://what-i-would-do.blogspot.ca/2015/06/what-i-would-do-if-i-had-to-go-out.html
27. What I would do if I lived in the world of Game of Thrones
28. What I would do if I could relive any past experience
29. What I would do if I could remake any movie
30. What I would do if I could learn any new instrument - http://what-i-would-do.blogspot.ca/2015/05/what-i-would-do-if-i-could-learn-any.html
31. What I would do if I had to face a boggart
32. What I would do if I could marry any Disney man (or animated man? Can I include Garret from Quest for Camelot? Because a blind hermit is kind of my ideal mate)
33. What I would do if I had to guess my patronus
34. What I would do if I could turn into any animal (like an animagus!)
35. What I would do if I could only use one social networking thing
36. What I would do if I could have any Summer job
37. What I would do if I had a Reality TV show
38. What I would do if I got a role in The Amazing Sperm Race as sperm (yes, this is a real film)
39. What I would do if I could commit any crime without repercussions
40. What I would do if I could meet any past composer and play modern music for him/her (just to see his/her reaction... come on, it would be hilarious)
41. What I would do if I could change anything about my past - http://what-i-would-do.blogspot.ca/2015/05/what-i-would-do-if-i-could-change.html
42. What I would do if I could give a shoutout to any obscure person in my past
43. What I would do if I could teach everyone anything about opera
44. What I would do if I had Alzheimer's
45. What I would do if I were a ghost
46. What I would do if I were on ManTracker
47. What I would do if I could have any animal as a pet
48. What I would do if I had to have another High School prom
49. What I would do if I could automatically become fluent in another language
50. What I would do if I had to go through public school again

Good lord, that was actually a lot of prompts! I'm relieved to be finished.

-Laura

What I Would Do if I Talked About Sims (And More Debate on Punishments)

Ah, Sims. That stupid game that periodically takes the world by storm. Let me tell you, I hate the thing. And yet I can find myself strangely addicted.
For those few of you who don't know, Sims is a series of games where you take control of 1-6 avatars  and control their actions throughout the day. The game is a completely sandbox adventure- there are no rules to follow, no objectives that you have to complete. You simply move your character through his life, building him or her a house, learning skills, having six girlfriends at once. In time your Sim grows older and dies, at which point you can continue playing with your Sim's offspring or simply start a new game.
Now, you must understand that I rarely play Sims, and there's a reason for this. When I do, I find myself addicted for a week or so. After that week is finished I more or less abandon the game for six months, and then the cycle starts all over again.
It has to be said that there is something inherently satisfying about playing the game. You can't help but feel happy when your Sim writes a bestselling book or gets promoted to Criminal Mastermind in the criminal career. You want to tell the world, "look how successful virtual me is!" Soon, you have enough money to buy a mansion, and the best car sim dollars can buy. You feel like you've actually accomplished something.
Then, after a few days of playing the game, you realize something. You realize that your just a lame little guy sitting in front of a screen, watching somebody else be successful while you waste all of your time wishing you were him. That's when you start feeling depressed.
After a couple hours of playing Sims, I start to seriously question what I'm doing with my life. I just watched my Sim literally write six books in one labour-intensive day, and two of those were hits while another was best-selling. On the other hand, I've just spent my twenty-four hours staring at a screen, nowhere closer to having my own projects completed. Do you ever hear people say that this generation is living virtually and not really living their lives in the real world? Sims is truly the epicentre of that belief.
Interestingly enough, thinking these thoughts years ago is what made me want to write the first book that I ever wrote. I thought to myself, "this guy just wrote a best-seller in twelve hours. Writing can't be that hard!"
That very day, I decided to write a book. I needed an idea, and so I walked around for ten minutes until I decided that my book would involve an alien and perhaps the Rosetta Stone (don't ask). My Sim took zero minutes to come up with an idea, so surely ten minutes was enough for me. Thus equipped with the perfect plot, I grabbed my dads computer and started typing away. Nearly a year later I had my masterpiece completed; a forty-odd thousand word epic with no real plot and characters thrown in because I figured that I needed more then one character in my story. If I recall correctly I (honest to god) put these two new supporting characters in a field for my protagonist to stumble upon. I was a fine storyteller from a young age.
So although Sims has wasted several literal days of my short existence on this earth, it did get me more interested in writing. Now I can burn time in a way that most would actually call productive! So thank you, Sims. For making people feel like even there wildest dreams could come true with twenty-four hours work and a high mood meter. Sims: giving people delusions of grandeur since 2000.

Thanks for reading,

-Mark

PS:

Supreme Leader Laura,

I won't let the punishments thing die without a fight! I am however willing to negotiate.
For example, I'll admit that punishments like fasting for 24 hours might be a little extreme and would require perhaps more commitment then we are ready to give. So big punishments should be used sparingly or not at all. Would lesser punishments be acceptable instead?
For example, I could say, "Laura, read insert random book here within one month and tell the Russian Robots about it!" or "Listen to the Green Day album American Idiot sometime this week." These punishments are still things that we wouldn't normally think of doing, but I believe both me and you would be willing to do them. After all, the only thing we're losing is a few hours of time, and we're gaining a topic to post about and possibly a good experience.

Regards,

-Marl

(Mark)

What I Would do if I Had to Justify my Veto

Darling Mark,

Thank you for providing the inspiration for this post. Perhaps I should have justified my veto two nights ago, but clearly I was too intoxicated to write properly. (In my defence, I never really drink and it was the last day of exams). I even edited that... originally, it was far worse!

Okay, Marl (as you called yourself in your last post), I just don't think any of those punishments sound realistic. I can't fast for 24 hours because it would be unhealthy and probably screw up my school/work performance. I can't take a vow of silence for the same reason (I'm a vocal major, you dolt!). In addition, I think that when we don't post, unless it's just that we're forgetful, we can assume that we have a really good reason! Maybe we just need a better reminder system; I think Julia's joining may have thrown us off track a bit!

Anyway, my point is that I don't think punishments are necessary or really realistic. If things become much worse, maybe, but, for now, I think we can do without.

Love,

Your Supreme Ruler

What I Would Do if I Spent Five Minutes on a Blog Post

Today I'm in a bit of a rush. The timer is ticking, and I don't really have a goal in mind for this post. Be warned: it may stop abruptly.
Laura, are you scared of punishment? We need to have a motivation! Show your commitment to this blog! Show your commitment to the Russian robot!
In other words, I'll still assign you a punishment if you miss a day. Failure to complete this will, I'm sure, infuriate the Russian robots. You know that the number one rule of this blog is not to upset the robots, Laura. Don't let them down.
I also want to commemorate you on achieving the shortest post so far seen on this blog. I understand that you may have been tipsy at the time, but at least now we can look back on it and laugh. I'm glad that at least one post on this blog is surpassed by "What I Would Do if I had 100 Words to Write a Blog Post With" in terms of quality.
However, now I'm down to twenty seconds. Shoutouts to the robots, shootouts to the academy, thanks

bye

-marl

That, my friends, is a rushed post. Obviously, this was a terribly written post. It was not thought out in the slightest, the grammar was questionable, and towards the very end it fell apart. Let's hope it gets better with an increased time limit.

wWhat I Would do if I Were the Blog Leader

Hey Bro,

So, I disagree with that whole punishments thing. It sounds really horrible!!!!

Love,
Laura

Punishments!

Laura, we suck at posting on our required days.
When Julia joined the whole schedule was messed up, and a bunch of days were missed. We'd just been getting it back on track, and then I went off to England and fell flat on my posts. You on the other hand missed your last post and have approximately seven minutes to write a post from start to finish if you want to post on time today. I'm actually happy about this, as it helps me prove my earlier point and allows me to write this post before I decide that it's a stupid idea.
We need to change our posting habits, though. We need more motivation. So let's create some.
I don't know if you've ever watched videos by the Vlogbrothers. If not, the Vlogbrothers are two brothers who run a YouTube channel called, you guessed it, Vlogbrothers. You may have heard of the two; Hank Green, and his brother John Green. They started their channel several years back, when they made video blogs on alternating days under the premise of not being able to communicate with each other textually for an entire year. These videos were about just about anything they wanted them to be about, but grew into all sorts of wonderful things. They talk about equality and tolerance and being good people, as well as sing songs (on Hank's part) and discuss writing and movies (on John's part). These videos have deservedly gained a large audience, and the two have used their fan base to raise money for charity to decrease what they call "world suck."

I truly hope that you know what I'm talking about. Otherwise I may have to disown you until you watch all of their videos.
Regardless, I love the channel and it was one of the reasons I signed up so readily for writing on this blog. What I'm trying to slowly work my way towards, though, is the way that the Vlogbrothers keep up their discipline when posting videos on a regular basis; punishments.

This really doesn't need any explaining. Let me switch gears to a quick questions and answers section to clear up the idea.

What constitutes a punishment?

If one blogger posts after midnight on the day they were supposed to write, the other blogger can choose any punishment for them to complete. However, both me and you know that, sometimes, we simply can't post that day. Therefore, you can ask the other blogger to cover for you, assuming that;

-There are at least three hours left until midnight in the other bloggers timezone

-The other blogger agrees to do so. They could potentially leave you in the lurch.

What kind of punishments are we talking about?

Anything doable that would be worth blogging about! For example, in my last post I mentioned challenges like fasting for 24 hours, taking a 24 hour vow of silence, or swearing off treats for a week. As long as it's not too cruel, I'm game.

Wait! I disagree with a point that you said here/the whole idea of punishments!

Well, okay then. If you have an objection or an improvement to this idea, then let me know. Alternatively, you could simply veto the whole thing with your powers as the founding blogger. Honestly though... We need something to keep us on track!

Those are the rules that I've thought of so far. I'll see you on Friday, sis... Don't forget!

-Mark

100 What I Would Do Prompts (Part 2)

Alas, I've been finding myself running low on inspiration once more. Last time this happened, I created 100 What I Would Do Prompts (Part 1), and it did give me an idea during several times when I was running dry. There can only so many good prompts in a list, though, and most of those have already been used up leaving me with uninteresting or bland post ideas. Today, I'll rejuvenate that list. Let's get started!

50: What I Would Do if I was an Orc in The Lord of the Rings
49: What I Would Do if I Shared Some Random Philosophical Thoughts With You
48: What I Would Do if I Tried to do 100 Pushups (This could work as a series, as I'm never going to do 100 on my first attempt).
47: What I Would Do if I Fasted for 24 Hours
46: What I Would Do if I Didn't Speak for 24 Hours
45: What I Would Do if I had No Desert for 1 Week
44: What I Would Do if I Walked 50 000 Steps in One Day (After a brief internet search, I estimated that this would take about 8 hours of steady walking. Ouch.)
43: What I Would Do if I Planked for 10 Minutes
42: What I Would Do if I Actually Tried a New Sleep Schedule (This one is a little dubious, I know. I'd have to try it over the summer, and only for a week or so.)
41: What I Would Do if I Spent Five Minutes on a Blog Post
40: What I Would Do if I Spent Thirty Minutes on a Blog Post
39: What I Would Do if I Spent One Hour on a Blog Post
38: What I Would Do if I Spent Two Hours on a Blog Post
37: What I Would Do if I Spent Three Hours on a Blog Post (I've had the idea of progressively increasing time spent on blog posts for awhile now. I think it would be interesting to see if the quality improves with more time sent on the post, and if so, how much. The problem is that all of these time sets would have to be incorporated into different ideas, as it would be incredibly boring to write "I just started a blog post that will take me three hours to write!" Followed by, "This will be fun. Yup. I already did this a few times, you should check those posts out here. Still writing. Yup. Still writing. Only two hours fifty-five minutes to go!")
36: What I Would Do if I Spent Increasing Time Writing Blog Posts (A review of the whole experiment).
35: What I Would Do if We got a Comment (I'm telling you know, stranger, if you comment on this blog you will get a whole post dedicated to you. We're slightly desperate).
34: What I Would Do if I Reviewed Insert Anything Here. (I started my blogging career writing book reviews, and indeed still update that site infrequently. It might be fun to bring some of that over to this blog.)
33: What I Would Do If Fruits and Vegetables Tasted Like Candy and Candy Tasted Like Fruits and Vegetables
Okay, people. I'm making a quick side note here. I'm not sure that I've ever quite communicated to you just how tedious these posts are to write. My imagination has limits, and all the while writing this I know that this post is purely for myself and that none of you people will enjoy reading it! I find myself trying to stretch one idea over as many posts as possible, and then I resort to throwing in uninteresting ideas which may never be used. Ever onwards, though. This will be useful in the future.
32: What I Would Do if I Had to Spend $1 000 000 on Useless Items
31: What I Would Do if I was a Cat
30: What I Would Do if I Took a Random Internet Test (I really loved your Bizzfeed Quiz Post, Laura. Check that out HERE if you haven't seen it already.)
29: What I Would Do if This Blog had 250 Posts (for this monumental post, I really want to do something awesome. Any suggestions?)
28: What I Would Do if I Ran Away From Home (Don't get any ideas, you anarchists. I love my family. Still, this would be a good post if I was feeling particularly angsty that day.)
27: What I Would Do If I Sang in Front of my Entire School (Unfortunately, this is actually going to happen. You'll see.

26: What I Would Do if I had a Year of Unlimited Travel

25: What I Would Do if I was a Zombie During the Zombie Apocalypse

24: What I Would Do if I Could Change One Thing About Myself (We're getting personal now!)

23: What I Would Do if I Lived on the Moon

22: What I Would Do if I Analyzed my Favorite Song

21: What I Would Do if Aliens Visited Earth... Again? (Cue dramatic music)

20: What I Would Do If I was on YouTube (watch for a potentially personal post which reviews deeper origins about my love for writing. Or a post about video games and vlogs.)

19: What I Would Do If I Ranted About my Favorite YouTubers

18: What I Would Do if I Tried to Bake a Cake

17: What I Would Do if Dinosaurs Still Existed

16: What I Would Do if I was Born in the Stone Age

15: What I Would Do if I Could Destroy Anything I Wanted (because destroying things is fun,)
14: Some more England Posts! I've been slacking off in that department recently.

13; What I Would Do if I Introduced my Grandparents to you

12: What I Would Do if I Talked About Sneaky Writing (think typing under the covers. I do so much of this it really deserves it's own post!)

11: What I Would Do if there was No Such Thing as Writing
10: What I Would Do if I was Isolated from Everyone Else on the Earth
9: What I Would Do if I Could Travel Into the Future (I know I already did a similar post, but hey, I need to fill up these last few spaces!)
8: What I Would Do if I was a Fugitive (No! I'm not a criminal!)
7: What I Would Do if I Could Watch the FIFA World Cup Live
6: What I Would Do to Improve Edmonton
5: What I Would Do if I was Choosing a University (this one may not be written for a few years.)

4: What I Would Do if I Ran a Business
3: What I Would Do if I Tried to Write 500 000 Words in One Year (I actually want to try this one day. One day fairly soon... when, I don't know, but I want a long-term writing goal.)
2: What I Would Do if Another Species Challenged the Dominance of Humans
1: What I Would Do if I was an Ant

Ha! 100 posts! I'm done, I'm done! Finally I'm done! Take that, mo... never mind. I'll keep this blog clean for a while yet.
Seriously though, I'm relieved to be done with that. I'm not looking forward to doing another post where I just ramble off ideas. I'm going to promise myself that I won't do so until all of the prompts on both of these tedious lists have been used up.
Again, thanks for reading. Assuming that you actually did read all of those, of course. If you did then you are a god.
See you next time!

-Mark

What I Would Do if I Suggested Prompts to Laura

One of the interesting things about this blog is that me and Laura can delve into each other's deepest, darkest secrets. Therefore, I often wonder when writing a blog post what Laura would do in the situation I'm discussing. To that effect I dedicate this post to things that I'd be interested to hear what Laura has to say on. Undoubtably this will be an ever expanding list, and most of the things Laura writes about will be much more interesting then unused ideas that I have here. there's no pressure to use any of these. So now without further ado, I present to you a third body of possible ideas, sis.

1. Write something about the drama productions that you've done in the past. I just posted a post where I gush about my love for theatre, and I'm curious as to whether or not your cast and crew were as awesome as mine tend to be.
2. Write some deep sisterly advice for me and others. You are older and, in a select few topics, wiser then I am. What do you have to say about life?

That's all I have for you right at the moment. Did I not say that this would be an expanding post?
Anyhow, I hope you can use one of the ideas I've listed.

Thanks for reading,

-Mark

What I Would Do if I was in the School Play

Yet again, we have a misleading title. Indeed, I do not have to wonder about my fate should such an event occur, as it's already happened. Earlier tonight, I finished my final performance of Sherlock Holmes as the title character. Let me tell you right now; I've loved every second of it.
The past few days have seen my thoughts entirely focused on the play. Will I forget a line? Do I have all of my props? Who's coming? Will the audience be receptive? These questions swim about in my head all day. Who cares about french tests or getting worksheets done? I have the school play to worry about.
Now, having just finished the final run of the show, I find myself sitting in a dreamlike state of happiness. It's incredible how much I have come to love the annual play. It is truly the highlight of my school year.
The first thing that has to be mentioned is the camaraderie that quickly becomes apparent between members of the cast and crew. We joke with each other before every show, we laugh with each other at the intermission. When the show is over, we come out from backstage beaming, and promptly break into a dance party as soon as the audience has cleared out. Reader, you've got to experience our dance parties to realize the epicness of them. A dozen sweaty kids dancing without a care to some eastern-sounding music onstage, with our lights guy making the lights pulse to the beat, is truly an inspirational sight. You know you're tight when you can have dance parties like we do.
And then there are the weird antics we have backstage and in the art room at halftime. Now, to read this without thinking my whole school crazy you must realize that weirdness thrives in the drama room. Some things are only moderately weird. Backstage, people mouth the lines that are being said onstage, having heard them so many times before. Before the play starts, we crack the stupidest jokes imaginable and burst out laughing because of them.
Only when you look closer is the really odd stuff revealed. For you to understand this one, you must understand... I am terrible at remembering peoples names. Having discovered this fact two nights ago, most of the cast was rather insulted and kept quizzing me on their names. Therefore, I'd made a concerted effort to learn said names.
Today, one of the girls (who I've ironically forgotten the name of) came up to me and asked me to tell her her name. Of course, I couldn't come up with it. I then felt bad, so as soon as I learned her name once more I started my perfectly reasonable apology; serenading her with some love song I know, improving the lyrics as I went to communicate my sorrow at forgetting her name. My mate Finn, who knew the song I was singing from last years play, joined in with the song to thoroughly weird out everyone around. Ten minutes later, me and the serenaded girl were chatting as normal once again. As I say, weirdness thrives in the drama room.
The positive impact these plays have had on me is practically endless. So many friends have been made, memories created. However, people get older and people leave the school, and so I've seen many a former drama mate leave for another school. That's why it was so awesome when, tonight, I saw two of my former drama buddies!
One of them was from last years play, and the reunion was brief seeing as how we hadn't been too tight. On the other hand, one of the girls had been the female lead in the grade seven play. She came all the way to my school just to see this years play! It was awesome to see her again, and it adds weight to my theory that drama friends are forever.
All good things must come to an end, though. The play for this year has now ended. The cast disbanded, likely never again to have quite the same level of friendship that we do tonight. The props were taken away, the lights for our dance parties taken down. Sherlock Holmes is finished.
This year, like both previous years, I feel a distinct sense of sadness saying goodbye to my character as Sherlock. It may sound stupid to those of you who haven't experienced immersion in a play, but I feel as though I'm saying goodbye to not just my character but a part of myself.
It's a weird phenomenon, but I swear that a bit of the character I'm playing rubs off on me. When I play confident characters, I swear to God that I feel a little more confident myself. Laura, I believe you feel the same way.
And so now I must say goodbye to a character that feels like he can practically rule the world, that no challenge is too great, just a bigger adventure. I'll miss that.
So goodbye, Sherlock Holmes, both the man and the play. It was a hell of a lot of fun.

Thanks for reading,

-Mark

What I Would do if I Were in Victoria

Tonight I really wanted to write something cheerful, but nothing really came to my mind. Today was my grandmother's memorial; she passed away the Tuesday before last. Anyway, I wasn't able to go, and it's really preying on my mind. So, this is what I would do:

1. Give my father a huge hug. He's lost his mom, and I can think of few things worse than that. Dad isn't a very outwardly emotional person, but that doesn't mean that he still doesn't need hugs.

2. Hug Grandad. He lost his wife. He clearly needs some love as well, even if he doesn't realize it.

3. Take some time to myself to cry and pray. I still don't feel like I've had enough time to grieve. It still doesn't feel real since I'm on the other side of the country.

4. Say goodbye to Grandmum. It really, really hurts to know that I won't get to do that. She won't even have a grave because she's being cremated, and I really wish I had the chance to go and see her and say my goodbyes.

Anyway, sorry for a heavier topic, but it was necessary tonight.

-Laura

What I Would Do if School Plays Were Exhausting

This is perhaps the most inaccurately titled post on this blog. Plays are, in fact, exhausting already. The post you are reading right now is therefore simply a tired boy letting off steam.

Today is opening night for the school play of Sherlock Holmes, in which I'm the title character. Perhaps this is misleading, as the actual first performance is in the afternoon. Indeed I just got back from a "practice" performance in front of some of the schools grade seven and eight population. I've now been in three of these performances. The other two first runs have been terrible. Today, on the other hand... went surprisingly well!

Most people remembered their lines, the lighting and sound was on cue. I was relieved when I didn't forget a single line, and nobody else in my scenes butchered it. I felt in character, I only skipped someone else's lines once with no harm done, and the audience even had a bit of a soul. In other words, as far as opening nights go it was a great success!

Now, I must start my preparations for the next play tonight. It'll be a long day, for sure; I just made it home fifteen minutes ago making it just past 3:30. Now I have plenty of time to finish this post, eat, study for a french test that I hope to get at least a 70% on when in other subjects I have come to expect 90%'s regularly, rest, and then get back to school by 5:00 to prepare for the next performance at 7:00. I'm sure I'll then have plenty of energy to study some more when I get home at 9:20, despite having just performed in another two hour show.

Please forgive me as I cut this post off prematurely. This will be the grim reality for the next few nights, as the play continues on. Sigh.

Wish my plenty of leg-breaking, and I'll see you friday.

-Mark

What I Would Do if I Listed my Favourite Billy Joel Songs (part 2)

After a long day filled with school and homework and driving and memorizing and rehearsal for the school play, it's nice to be able to get back home and write on the blog. Thank you, blog, for providing a place to relax.

Today, I'll finish off my top ten list of my favorite Billy Joel songs. As I'm pressed for time and tomorrow is an important day for me, let's get right into it.

5. It's Still Rock and Roll to me

This song has quite a lot going for it. A catchy beat, variation throughout the song, and people clapping in unison all make for a top-five kind of song. In the end I must say that it was the clapping that did it for me. I have a weakness for anything done in unison, and even a half dozen people clapping together two or three times in a song makes me love it. Yeah, I have some weird ideas as to what makes a song a masterpiece.

4. My Life

"My life" is another song that I only recently found. Something about the instrumentals in this song just clicked for me, and I found that the singing complimented said instrumentals well. The tipping facotr from great to wonderfull? I took a "what Billy Joel song are you" test and got "My Life" as a result.

3. Uptown Girl

I'm quite confident that "Uptown Girl" was the first Billy Joel song that I ever listened to. My dad used to play this in the car, and I'd nod my head along to it as we zipped from place to place. 

Perhaps my favorite thing about this song is that you can't listen to it without feeling happy. Here we have a happy guy singing happily to a happy tune. You can't help but join in the fun! And like "Piano Man," this song has one section which really gets me every time. Impossible to replicate here, the part where he does that singing-without-words bit is awesome. There must be a word for non-worded singing. Laura?

2. Only the Good Die Young

Man, I love this song. Like so many of Billy's songs, the entire song is carried by a great beat that you can't help but nod along to. "Only the Good Die Young" can also lift you up from any mood to a better one, much like Uptown Girl. What more can you ask of a song?

1. Vienna

After so many upbeat and uplifting songs so high in my top ten, perhaps it will come as a surprise to you to see that my top spot is occupied by a slower, more reflective song.

The lyrics are the driving factor in this song. From my own interpretation, and several visits to songmeanings.com, I have an idea of what the song may or may not be about. To me, the song is saying that you should have ambition in life, but that you should also be satisfied with what you have. Something about that just runs true to me. The singer of the song is clearly advising someone, although in what context, who can say? Joel has written several lines to this person that support my theory. Some of my favorites include the opening line that goes "Slow down, you crazy child. You're so ambitious for a juvenile, but then if you're so smart, tell me why are you still so afraid?" as well as "You've got your passion, you've got your pride, but don't you know that only fools are satisfied? Dream on, but don't imagine it'll all come true." Arn't those so poetic? 

I've listened to this song so many times that it's probably unhealthy. I remember that when I first found this song several summers ago, I showed it to Laura quite early on. We then had several nights where we'd sit and listen to "Vienna" on repeat. Focused almost exclusively on the song. This was all done on the East coast where we stay in our cabin for the summer, and by the time we got back home the song had already amassed 70 plays. Nowadays, it has over 200 plays on the home itunes play counter.

Billy Joel is in my mind an underappreciated artist. Few people in my generation have even heard of him, and I find that to be practically a sin. So, this is what you must do, dear reader. Listen to these Billy Joel songs. Fall in love with the music. Then spread the word! This especially means you, Russian robot. I'm sure that you visit thousands of blogs every day where you can spam comments about Billy Joel. I'm counting on you, man (/women/spambot)

Thanks for reading,

-Mark

I'd like to dedicate this post to the Russian Robots of the world, who visited this blog twenty-odd times a few days ago. Thanks for that. I'd also like to thank the similar number of Swiss people/robots who did a similar thing a day or two following the Russians. My hat is off to you two.

What I Would Read if I Had Time to Read

Here's a bit of a wistful post in anticipation of the end of exams. I love reading, but I feel like the only thing I manage to read while at school are assigned readings from articles and textbooks. As a result, I'm really looking forward to when I have time to read for fun again, and there are quite a few things on my reading list:

1. Paper Towns  by John Green - Mark let me borrow this over Christmas and I still haven't gotten past the first chapter. I know, I'm horrible. In my defence, I've been super busy! I'm a little iffy about this one because I don't remember liking An Abundance of Katherines, but I'm willing to give the book a try because I loved The Fault in our Stars so much (that's on my list of favourites for sure). Anyway, I'm looking forward to a fun and quick read.

2. A Clash of Kings by George R. R. Martin - I read the first of the Game of Thrones books over the summer and enjoyed it (if "enjoyed" is the right word). Anyway, I'm frightened because I grow attached to characters - pathetically so - but fortunately, Julia has spoiled most of the deaths for me. Still, these books are pretty addicting if you like fantasy of any sort, so I'm excited to keep reading.

3. My four poetry books - It takes me a while to get through poetry books because I really like to take my time to understand each poem. Still, I have four books on my waiting list, including a book of Eavan Boland's work, Emily Dickinson's work, poems from the world wars (I'm saving that for when I feel able to handle something so depressing), and a general anthology that I got at Chapters for something ridiculously cheap; I really can't resist poetry books when they're on sale. Anyway, I need to get through these guys for sure.

4. Equus by Peter Schaffer - I've read this one before, but it's my favourite play so I want to read it again (and again, and again, and again...).

5. My book on Joan of Arc - Eep, I'm a bit out of it on the details of this book, but it looks so interesting. I am in love with Joan of Arc, and I can't wait to read all about her!

6. The Enchanted by Rene Denfeld - this one keeps tempting me whenever I walk into chapters. It looks so interesting. I imagine it might be a bit sad too, but aren't all of the best books at least a little bit sad?

7. Outlander by Diana Gabaldon - I just want to read the famous "rock books" as my sister called them. The story behind that is that my grandmother told my sister when she was young about a book in which a woman traveled back in time through a magical rock. Ever since, Julia was obsessed, and our grandmother promised to give her the book as soon as she was eighteen. However, once she turned eighteen, our grandmother had conveniently forgotten about it and deemed it too inappropriate to give to Julia, so Julia found it on her own. Anyway, since we didn't know the title, they've always been the "rock books" to us.

8. The 100-Year-Old Man who Climbed out the Window and Disappeared by Jonas Jonasson - look at the title. Who wouldn't want to read this? Just from the description it sounds hilarious, profound, and deeply moving. Here's hoping I'm not disappointed.

I feel like I'm forgetting one, but here's it for now. Hopefully I can inspire some of you with your own summer reading! (Yes, that means you, Russian robot)

-Laura

What I Would Do if I Told my Sisters how Awesome they are

In a (late) celebration of siblings day, I've decided to put aside my love for Billy Joel in favour of my love for my sisters.
One loose stereotype I've noticed is that siblings are almost always portrayed as hating each other. In movies there's always that one kid who's abused by his or her older siblings, and as much as I'd like to joke that I can relate to that, it's simply not true. If you can't tell from the fact that we're blogging together, me and my sisters are pretty damn tight.
Sure, we have our rough moments, and when we do fight it's often a doozy. If you went through one hundred families, though, I think that our sibling group would be near the top of the sibling-love charts. We help each other out when one of us is feeling down. We enjoy each others company. We can work on projects together, we can tell each other things. So this one goes out to you, Julia and Laura; thanks for being awesome.
I thought that a good way to show how our sibling friendship developed would be to go back to where it all started. Now, I know that for the first couple years of my life I was not liked too much. I was a tattle-tail. Julia taunted me by calling me "Mackeldore," and Laura would join in on Julia's schemes. I'd mess with their Barbies. They'd make me cry for various reasons. Yes, all in all it was a parasitic relationship where both animals leach off one another.
And then came the turning point, in at least me and Laura's relationship. It all started, perhaps pathetically, when Laura started to bring me out to second cup and buy me free hot chocolate.
That was the day that I learned that sisters really could be good for some things. I more or less reformed my ways, they more or less reformed their ways, and the rest is history.
As I grow older, I learn that there are, shockingly, more benefits to having siblings then free hot chocolate. There are so many things I couldn't do without them! To list just a few advantages of siblings...

• You can ask your siblings awkward questions that you wouldn't want to ask your parents. 
• As a boy, I learned a fair bit about females from having sisters, rather then having to try to observe the mysterious cliques of girls at school for information. That brings up another, unrelated point; why do girls always move in packs at school? I'll have to ask my sisters that next time I see them!
• You know people that understand you. Sad to say, I've never really felt like any friend at school truly gets me. My sisters, on the other hand, have seen me developing my views since I was a day old, and have themselves shaped many of them. I'd say with certainty that they know me better then anyone else in this world does.
• Speaking of friends, your siblings can become in many ways your best friends. I'd much rather spend an afternoon doing something fun with my two sisters then spend an afternoon with two friends. Perhaps it's because I know many of the ins and outs of my sisters, whereas my friends can still seem strange at times.

So thank you, Julia and Laura, for being you. Thank you for being my siblings and mentors. Thanks for being awesome.

Happy siblings day.

-Mark

What I Would do if Boxer Man Broke into my Bedroom

In honour of the latest Dalhousie security alert, I decided to plan ahead.

I think that either last year or the year before women at Dal or around Dal had a problem with this guy in boxers breaking into their houses and watching them sleep. Creepy, right? Anyway, it appears that this man has returned - if the latest security bulletin can be believed - and we're all feeling delectably safe. I told my best friend here that since her roommate never seems to lock the door and her bedroom door is easily pickable, she should just put marbles in front of the door every night and trip up the intruder. However, that's not what I would do. I seriously doubt that this guy could get into my house, but here will be my joking planning ahead (while hoping that I won't be jinxed by this):

1. I would scream. Well, I would mezzo-scream, so basically just make some weird strangled noise.

2. Then I would start singing the bed intruder song, because this whole situation makes me think of it:

3. Then I would call the police, if I didn't murder him myself first. Okay, just kidding, I wouldn't murder her. But I might lock him in the cage in my basement (that's a story for another time... I'm not a serial killer, I swear).

At least he doesn't actually appear to be a rapist so far... I guess he just likes watching women sleep?

Either way, thank you, Halifax, for making me feel oh-so-safe.

-Laura

What I Would Do if I Listed my Favourite Billy Joel Songs (part 1)

As a long time-reader of this blog will know, I love Billy Joel and his music.

In preparation for this post, I researched just how much time I've spent listening to his music using the itunes veiw counter. After calculating for a solid twenty minutes (that takes dedication for blog post preparation!) I found out the followint things;

-I've listened to a Billy Joel song all the way through 916 times

-This has taken me 61 hours, or about two and a half days to do so. Obviously, I spend too much time listening to Billy Joel.

What really bugs me is that among my friends, I'm one of the only ones who's actually heard of him! They talk about the Beatles and Led Zeppelin and Simon and Garfunkel, but they don't know an equally great artist in Billy Joel.

If you're an awesome individual, however, I know that you'll like Billy Joel. If not... 150 million records sold, people. The numbers don't lie. EIther way, I hope that you'll enjoy me gushing about Joel's music for the next little while. Below is the first part of my top ten favourite Billy Joel songs. I encourage you to listen to these songs before you actually read the article, so that you can get the full experience. That means you, Laura; I don't know if even you've been exposed to the mastery of all of these songs.

Now without furthur ado... I'll let Billy Joel take the stage.

10. The Longest Time

The longest time gets on the list for sheer awesomeness in it's acapela style. Truly, listening to this song you can hear all of the different layers of singing-ness, which incidentally were all sung by Billy Joel. The high parts, the low parts, the main part. If nothing else this demonstrates Joel's range, and makes for a happy little song to sing. 

9. Big Shot

Walking to a Doctors appointment today, I was pleasently surprised when I heard this song playing in the hallway. The fact that I started dancing and lipsincing in the hall shows both my extreme random dancing disorder and the epicness of this song.

What quality of the song makes it so good, I couldn't tell you. Perhaps it's the beat. The little clapping they do. Maybe the variation between similar verses. No matter what it is, this is another great song.

8. You May be Right

Just a couple weeks ago, I decided to try to expand my Billy Joel song inventory.

I've been exposed to his music in a lot of different ways. A Rhett and Link video included one of his songs, I found out that glee did an episode featuring him, and I picked up another couple songs listening to the Billy Joel radio station.

This time, I went to youtube to find new Billy Joel songs. Looking up something along the lines of "Best Billy Joel songs," I found not only this song, but Big Shot and two others included on this list. What can I say about this song in particular? The answer to that is only that it's terrily catchy, as I'm sure you can tell if you just listened to the song! 

Good old Billy Joel just never dissapoints. 

7. Piano Man

Ah, the classic Billy Joel song. The 'deepness' of this song just flows out. It's also a great example of how poetic some Billy Joel songs can be; "Yes they're sharing a drink they call loneliness/but it's better then drinking alone" stands out.

You know how some song have certain notes that give you chills? This song has the title of having the best single word in a Billy Joel song in my mind. Perhaps you noticed it too; "And they sit at the bar and put bread in my jar and say man what are you doing here?"

That word of man is just epic. There's so much power, so much emotion behind it... but lets move on.

6. River of Dreams

This is another poetic song which you feel has some deeper meaning behind it. Consider the line "something so undefined that it can only be seen by the eyes of the blind." Don't you get the feeling that there's some deep message behind that? I mean, I sure don't know what it is, but stilll...

Yup, it's hard to go wrong with a Billy Joel song. And even these have nothing on the top five songs! Stay tuned, people. In the meantime... I must go to sleep.

Thanks for reading,

-Mark

What I Would Do if I Played Buzzfeed's Hardest "Would You Rather"

Tonight I thought that I would do something light-hearted, and what's more light-hearted than those harmless yet oh-so-addicting Buzzfeed Quizzes?

Here's a link if you'd like to follow along:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/daves4/the-15-hardest-would-you-rather-questions-you-will-ever-be-a#.mcyPDZWv0

1. Easy. I'd rather be 4'5" than 7'7". First of all, shorter people live longer (something about the heart not having to work as hard to pump blood throughout your body). Second of all, being tall would cause me to stand out, which is an introvert's nightmare. Plus, I could play in little kid areas (that climbing area in Galaxyland at West Edmonton Mall, anyone?) and hide in small spaces (I like small spaces). So, easy.  So far your title is misleading, buzzfeed.

Sidenote: How can an answer of "would you rather" be WRONG? Not cool, buzzfeed.

2. This one is harder. Fine, buzzfeed, maybe you were just easing me in. Even though it's freaky, I'm going with I'd rather have fingers as long as my legs than legs as long as my fingers. Yes, this one is tough. On one hand, how would I play piano? How would I type? How would I write? But I suppose I would get used to it. On the other hand, short legs would be tough because I wouldn't be able to get around very easily or reach anything. Plus, maybe I could do cool things with long fingers, like finally be able to reach the tallest cupboards in my giant kitchen.

3. Easy again. I would rather fly slowly than run quickly. Who doesn't want to fly? Sure, I might hover a bit slowly, but I would be in the air. I could hide on rooftops and treetops or just chill on the top of a mountain all day. Crossing the road would be easy. I wouldn't have to worry about slipping on ice or climbing over each snowbanks. Super running speed would just give me issues like possible collisions.

4. Well, this is a weird question, but I would never want to sweat mayo. How messy would that be? At least pooping out a softball would allow me to suffer alone momentarily. Plus, hopefully the "soft" in "softball" isn't misleading.

5. Awkward. I have no idea who Jar Jar Binks is. However, I googled him and he's an ugly thing. His voice is also horrific. However, fortunately, I can hear what he's doing to screw up his voice and make it that unpleasant. On that note, I'll take his voice. I'll just re-train myself to talk normally. At least I've gotten something from two years of a BMus!

6. I'd rather have a dragon than be a dragon. Sure, it would be cool to fly and breathe fire an whatever the heck else goes with being a dragon. However, I like being a person, and having a dragon gives me many of the same benefits (riding a dragon, asking your dragon to breathe fire... why would I need it to breathe fire anyway? "Dragon, please incinerate my ex."). Thus, a pet dragon is clearly the way to go here.

7. I would rather be sexually attracted to fruit than have permanent cheetos dust on my fingers. That would drive me crazy! It would get on everything, it would smell, and it would feel awful. Plus, I hate the colour orange. Gross. I'll take a sexual attraction to fruit. I'm already in love with fruit. Let's take it to the next level.

Sidenote: Is whoever made this quiz under ten years old? Fruit is not gross!

8. I would so much rather never have to worry about money than live in a world of pokemon. Those things are creepy and boring. Plus, I'm a university student: enough said.

Sidenote: Whoever said that choosing money was the wrong answer is dumb as a brick. If it were Harry Potter world or something, I might be tempted. As it is, definitely not.

9. I would rather be the best racquetball player in the world than find $65 on the street. If I were the best in a sport, I'm pretty sure I could make way more than that, thank you.

Sidenote: The maker of this quiz has now reached infinite levels of stupidity.

10. I think I would rather be able to talk to animals than speak any language fluently. This one was really tough, but I could actually learn other languages. Learning animal languages isn't really achievable without outside help. I'd love to talk to them... here's hoping that they have something interesting to say.

11. I would rather not have sex with a goat and have everyone think I did than actually have sex with a goat without anyone finding out. I mean, why would I want to have sex with a goat? As for people, whatever they believe is their problem, not mine. If they don't believe me when I tell them that I most certainly did not have sex with a goat (who would do that?!), then that's their problem.

Sidenote: Dumb. As. A. Brick. (And far too concerned about the opinions of others)

12. This is a hard one because I would rather whisper in a way. I like my privacy, you know? But that's so bad for your vocal folds. On that note, I'm going to go with shouting. Plus, there's nothing more frustrating than not being heard, you know? Plus, I can shout healthily.

Sidenote: Well, SOMEONE is going to end up voiceless very soon. Clearly this creator has no idea of how bad whispering is for you.

13. I'd rather eat a pinecone than poop a pinecone (though, technically, wouldn't eating it cause me to poop it out eventually anyway? Just saying). If it were a whole pinecone, I'm anticipating pain and perhaps some internal damage. Eating it sound doable, especially in small pieces. Heck, I'm vegetarian. I'm close to eating pinecones anyway (that was a joke - seriously, vegetarianism is great).

14. Okay... this one is really weird and difficult. However, I'm going to go with not being able to tell the difference between a muffin and a baby (which is really impossible). I just won't eat muffins anymore, because eating a baby by accident would be unfortunate. Changing gender all the time would be inconvenient. I like being a woman, anyway!

15. Oh God. This is a horrible question. I'd rather watch my parents have sex every day for the rest of my life than join in with them. That is just wrong on so many levels. God. Gross. No. No no no. Watching every day would be like just watching some sort of a romance film, right? Maybe? Both are horrible options, but no way would I ever join in. No no no no no.

Hope you all had fun!

-Laura

What I Would do if I Could Skip Ahead in my Life

I would time travel to the end of this semester so I wouldn't have to finish exams or assignments. In fact, better yet, maybe I'd time travel to when I have a job and am done with university entirely. I suppose that would be cheating, though (plus, I would miss out on all of the knowledge I'll supposedly gain), so maybe I'll stick with option one. Take my to April 25, please!

-Laura

What I Would do if I Were in London

This post was such an obvious post to do that I can't believe I didn't think of it until now!

Anyway, as you, my dear Russian Robot, may have realized, my parents and brother are in London and I am... here. In Halifax. Possibly the most depressing place in the entire world (yes, that's the most biased opinion you'll ever hear and is probably based almost solely on the fact that it's cloudy and rainy today and there are still snowbanks too high to see over). I hear that London is currently very dreary as well, but I'd be willing to bet that there are less snowbanks and schoolwork, so I'd rather be there, thanks. This is what I would do:

1. Go for high tea every other day so that I can eat delicious things and drink delicious tea while still not getting too fat. 

2. Visit the Sherlock set. It's one of my favourite shows, if not my favourite, and they seem to film so infrequently that this is a rare opportunity. I would desperately want to take advantage of being in London to visit the set and see my favourite characters. I'd want to see the Sherlock exhibit, too, but I know about it from Julia's visit and heard it was disappointing. Plus, I'm still pissed that they turned John's bedroom into some sort of hellhole storage room. So, yes, the set of Sherlock would be my priority. 

3. Go to the Tower of London. I love history, and the Tower of London is brimming with it. I would love to go back there. 

4. Go back to the art museum. Not the shitty modern art museum with blue canvases with a smiley face in the corner, but the one with art that I actually like. I think it may have been on Trafalgar square?

5. Enjoy the lack of snow. 

6. Go to bars and meet British people, but mostly just write in a corner and people watch. 

7. Write in British coffee shops. 

8. Hang out with my family and hug them and cry. 

9. Meet my distant cousin who is also named Laura Jones but is cool and British and was a piano major instead of a voice major, but basically still my clone. 

-Laura

Billy Elliot; The Musical

As much as I love the theatre and acting, I've never actual seen a professionally performed musical.

Sure, you can see shows at Edmonton's citadel theatre, and good ones at that. Having said that, Edmonton has never and will never be known for it's performing arts. For professional shows, this is entry-level stuff.

Over on the other side of the world, there's England. A production of Billy Elliot was my first taste of truly high-quality theatre, and the first professional musical I had ever seen. Singing, dancing, good acting, lights, and costumes all combined to make an extremely enjoyable show.

I won't go into detail regarding the plot of the show, as that would take much to long for it being 11:55 PM. (1) In a sentance or two, the play is about a kid named Billy Elliot who escapes the troubles of his everyday world through dance. There, I'm done. See the show if you want the whole picture!

The performance was, at times, spectacular. Let me tell you, I have a weakness for a bunch of people onstage clapping or banging things in unison. I could watch that all day, and Billy Elliot gave me plenty of that. The actors were of high quality, and delivered a high quality play with this skill. The music, composed by that damn Elton John, was splendid. Just swell. Because perfect Elton John is just so wonderful. He can't do anything wrong, oh no. He's one of the best songwriters alive today, and he deserves his fame. It's not like BILLY JOEL is better or anything!

Sorry. Where was I? Oh yes. Music.

Honestly, it was great, and I've got nothing against Elton John. I just shake my fist at him from time to time because I prefer Billy Joel, and no one in my generation has heard of him whereas everyone has heard of Elton. Still, it's...!

Oh, wait. I was done.
The show more then met my expectations. Though ironically, it isn't the show itself that I remember most vividly today. (Twenty-odd hours have passed since the last paragraph. Whoa, time travel!) There were a couple distinct moments that I remember from last night, not all of them actually related to the show.

• The Random Crunching Person: Behind where I was sitting, someone was making some weird noise throughout the first half. My mom was the one who was most effected by this, with me and my dad sitting obliviously through the first half, but I did here some noises in the second half. These were a strange combination between popping bubble wrap and crinkling chip bags, and were rather annoying to a lot of people in my row. Luckily, by the time my attention was called to the problem it had started to die down, so I wasn't too affected by it.
• The Vomiter: Just as it sounds, somebody had the indecency to throw up in the theatre. Imagine that you're sitting placidly, happily watching to a twelve year old float across the stage beside a professional ballet dancer. Smoke skuds across the stage, shrouding the whole scene in a mysterious, unearthly air. You listen to the music, picking up every note until suddenly, a new note comes in. A wet sounding note. A heaving sort of note. Then imagine someone say in horror "He threw up!" This was the grim reality last night.
• The Contagious Laugher: Thankfully, not all of the crowd-related moments last night were unhappy ones. The cast of the play was skilled at bringing out the comedic aspect of the play, and they were doing so in the middle of the second half when something more funny then the actual scene happened. The scene that was being performed was amusing, but only mildly so. The kind of scene that you smile slightly at and nothing more. Now, 99% of the crowd was doing just this when the laughter started. One single man was laughing outloud, roaring his head off in the silence of the theatre. And for some reason, the laughter was contagious. Out of nowhere, one man started the entire audience laughing for no particular reason at all. That was pretty awesome.

Yes, Billy Elliot was a whole lot of fun to see. It was illuminating to see a higher level of theatre, and I do hope that one day I'll be able to see it once more. Thanks for reading,

-Mark

(1) "Hey! It's 11:50 now!" -Mark nearly 24 hours later. Sorry I'm so slow, guys and gals,