What I Would Do if I Created an Innovative Camping Tool

Laura's left to go camping this weekend, which of course means that I was enlisted to help her pack up.

As she was short on time, I helped her get ready for her trip. Chopping onions for her dinner, gathering flashlights and other necessary items, and notifying her friends via text of her immanent absence were just a few things I did to help out. Nothing too hard.

One thing which I did struggle to help her with, though, was stuffing her tent into a bag half the size that I feel it should have been.

Anyone who's been camping (and I mean REAL camping, not lame-ass "camping" in a trailer) will know that it's always a struggle to fit all your supplies in your bag. One thing you have to do to achieve this is roll your sleeping bag, tent, and other similar items into tiny shapes before stuffing them into compact bags. These bags save room in your pack, but their nearly impossible to get your stuff into.

When stuffing Laura's tent into one such bag today, it was a grim scene. For ten minutes or so I struggled. First I gingerly stuffed the edge of the cloth down deep into the bag. More and more of the tenting followed, filling the bag up to the very top. The problem? Only half of the cloth had actually gone in, meaning that I then had to try to jam the rest into an already full back.

My heart rate elevated as I tried all sorts of athletic positions to stabilize the bag as I shoved. I kicked, I pushed, I yanked. For far too long I struggled to push the damn thing into a fairly small opening at one end of the bag.

That's when I thought to myself there must be a better way to do this. 

And then it hit me.

The problem with stuffing something into a long, slim bag is that the part of the bag near the opening will inevitably become much more compact then that on the opposite end. There's always some spare room in the opposite end of the bag. The problem is, that's inaccessible.  But why does it have to be?

The way I figure it, tent-bag designers could fix all of our problems if they made the bags zip-up. If they were, you could unzip the bag so that both ends were accessible to you. You could then scrunch the tent up, lay it along the bag so that there's an equal amount of cloth on either end, and then just force the zipper up. Done.

I tell you, if you can make this happen then please do. If you don't then someday I will.

Thanks for reading this (unedited due to extreme tiredness) post.

-Mark

Paper Towns: Movie Review

Anyone who's really talked with me will know that I fangirl over John Green far too often. There are so many things that he does, and it seems that he does all of those things brilliantly.
Most obviously, there's writing. The man's written five full-length novels, all five of which made the top 35 in this list of the 100 best books for teens. That's some consistent success right there.
Less mentioned but just as important is John's work with his brother Hank on the YouTube channel vlogbrothers, which just so happens to be my favourite channel. Not only do they encourage people to better themselves, they've raised thousands for charity and started vidcon.
All of which is to say that I adore John Green, and I really hoped on his behalf that the movie adaptation of his novel Paper Towns would be great. Let me tell you now; it was.
Upon seeing the trailer, I was worried. The humour looked forced, the character of Ben wasn't how I'd imagined him at all, and Q soundessed the book up. I was wrong.
Paper Towns follows the adventures of Quentin, a senior year high school student, and his neighbour Margo. Q long admired Margo, but never had much to do with her. Until one day, when she shows up at his window in the middle of the night.
Margo takes Quentin out for a wild night of adventure, before mysteriously disappearing the next day. This leaves Q longing for answers, and so he sets off on a chase to find Margo. In doing so, however, he finds much more then he could have bargained for.
Upon seeing the trailer, I was worried. The humour looked forced, the character of Ben wasn't how I'd imagined him at all, and Q sounded frankly bored. Going into it, I was apprehensive that the filmmakers had messed up my favourite John Green novel. There was no need to be.
In The Fault in Our Stars, the audience was left crying. In stark contrast, Paper Towns shined as a feel-good coming of age flick. There was a disappointing six people in the theatre I was in, and yet even that number had the place ringing with laughter.
My favourite thing about the movie would have to be the chemistry between the characters. Remember how earlier I said that I never imagined the character of Ben as he looked in the movie? By the end of the film, I felt like he meshed perfectly with the other two friends. I instantly bought the friendship of the three boys, which is testament to how well they seemed to click.
You may also remember how in the trailer I found the humour rather lacklustre; not so in the full film. The jokes which seemed awkward in the trailer were pulled off effortlessly in the film, earning a few good chuckled from the audience. The atmosphere that the actors really were just a bunch of good friends going on an adventure rubbed off on the audience, and had them laughing as if they were part of the friend group themselves.
I only have one complaint on this movie, which is the ending. Skip the next two paragraphs if you haven't read the book.
The theme of the novel was that we must "imagine people complexly," seeing them as humans just like us even if they seem more then that. Nobody's perfect, and everyone has some of the same feelings.
As well, in the book Margo totally stops Q in his tracks when he does eventually find her. She enforces the above theme of the book by more or less rejecting him, showing the reader that the idealized person Q created in his head wasn't really Margo but a figment of his imagination. Then we have the movie, where we just had to have the hollywood ending where they share a passionate smooch.
As disappointing as that was, the rest of the movie made up for it. Unexpectedly funny, well cast, and overall well-made, this movie will have you smiling for a good ling while. 8.5/10

Thanks for reading,

-Mark

What I Would Do if I Had Five Minutes to Post

Shit! RUN!

Thanks for reading,

-Mark

What I Would do if I Could Invent a New Medical Tool

There's nothing like having a cold that you just can't kick to motivate you to think about improving medicine.

Personally, since I'm slightly asthmatic, any cold I have always ends with my lungs full of phlegm. What does that mean? Well, it means that my lungs feel about a quarter full, I always have to cough (and nothing much helps that), and I usually cough up lots and lots of gunk.

The solution?

A lung vacuum!

Please! I would love a tiny, tiny tube that I could stick somewhere that would not damage my vocal folds (I guess that's probably the tricky part) and get all of this uncomfortable gunk out. Any of you in a medical engineering profession, take note.

-Laura

What I Would Do if I Was Sick in Bed

I have a love-hate relationship with being sick.

The hate is obvious. I mean, come on. Do I really have to explain that part? 

But for anyone my age, being sick also means that you have the chance to miss school. As luck would have it, summer school still has two days fight left in it. Make that one day for me.

I've got a bad cold, with the usual fever, runny nose, slight cough and fatigue. It's not too bad, really- in fact I might have gone to school if I'd felt any motivation. That, however, has been lacking. I mean my teacher already gave my class their final marks! Where's the logic in that?!

Anyhow, what it boils down to is me typing away on my ipad in bed, struggling to keep my eyes open. I don't even know if it's my post today. I don't frankly care.

When I'm sick, my day usually goes a little something like it did today...

7:30

I woke up at seven to the sound of Green Day as my alarm. I rolled over, shut it up, and fell back asleep.

10:00

I woke up two and a half hours later, realized that I couldn't go to school even if I wanted to, and smiled a little smile.

It was at this point I realized that my dad took his laptop to work, and cursed because the story I wanted to work on is on there.

10:15

I got Laura to call the school to say I wouldn't be there. Why they need to know these things, i don't know.

10:30

I started to text with the girl I'm dating. As it turns out, all they're doing at school is watching movies.

10:45

Continued reading "The Thief Lord." Page 100!

11:30

YouTube. Why don't my subscriptions post videos more often? Thankyou, Vinny, for being the only one to do so.

12:15 

Clash of Clans. I'm starting to get bored.

12:30

Blogging time! I've got nothing better to do.

12:50

Sigh. I'm getting near the end of my post.

I'd wanted to use today to work on the short story of mine I was telling you about a few posts back. Alas, my dad stole his laptop away, and so I'm left doing... well, nothing really. On that cheery note, see you later!

-Mark

What I Would Do if I Had Deep-Fried Oreos

If Edmonton is the festival city, then I'm a disgrace.

I hardly ever attend the events in and around Edmonton. I'm away for so much of the summer, my family isn't interested in going, and you only seem to hear about these things when they're already over. Therefore, today was the first year I went to K-Days, a huge fair which I'd been hearing great things about for years. The bottom line?

They had deep-fried oreas, and I'm tired.

-Mark

I promise I'll expand on this tomorrow.

(A few days later)

I didn't... I'm sorry.

What I Would Do if I Submitted a Short Story to a Competition

I write lots of material asides from blogs. Who knew, right?

A few weeks ago I found myself searching for writing inspiration, in the form of writing competitions. Over time I've looked at many, many such competitions, but have never entered any of them. Usually there's something to dissuade me, such as
1. The contest being USA only.
2. There being an entrance fee which I'm not willing to pay.
3. The competition only accepting a genre which I don't have any experience in.
4. There being an age limit, or
5. Age is open, which means that I'd be competing with much more experienced writers then myself.
 So when I look for writing competitions and I find "The Erotic Fiction Writer's of America's Annual Poetry Contest" which has an age requirement of 18+ and a 50 dollar entrance fee, I know it would be stupid to enter. Unfortunately, contests such as that are abundant.

In fact, I'd never seen a contest that didn't have one of those problems. Until a few weeks ago.

The competition I found is everything I could have hoped for. First of all, it's a Canadian contest with no genre or entrance fee required. Just as important, my age group is accepted. In fact, the age is 15 or under, which means that I'd be right at the top of the group. Finally, the category is a short work of fiction, which I can do. I've tried short stories a few times and quite like the feel of them.

So now, finally, I've found a writing contest that I can and will enter.

I've already had my story written for awhile now- what with the word limit being 750 words or under, the actual writing process took a remarkably short amount of time. Now, it's just the editing and revision to be done. Already that's taken tenfold the time it took to write the actual piece.

With that said, I have some editing to do!

Thanks for reading,

-Mark

What I Would Do if I Created a Blogger Book Club

My punishment is long overdue.

Way back in May, when the punishment rule was still in it's infancy, I missed a post and Laura assigned me The Thief Lord to read. Thus far, I've completely failed in doing so.

I do have a half excuse, which is that I haven't yet found my families copy, and so reading it has been a bit of a challenge. Still, it's high time I gave the book a read, and so for some extra incentive I've decided to create this little book club.

Every Tuesday that I post, I'll make sure to have read at least fifty pages of the book, rounded up to the end of the next chapter. Each Tuesday I'll briefly discuss it on the blog. That way we'll be able to slowly work our way through the novel over the course of the next few weeks. 

Now, I'll be honest when I say that we don't appear to have any regular readers at all here at What I Would Do, which is truly quite tragic. That said, if you are reading this then feel free to join in my reading quest! We'll discuss the novel together in two weeks time.

Thanks for reading,

-Mark

What I Would do if I Took Weekends Off

I'm going to use this post to announce a change to our blog. 

Mark and I both feel that our creativity is being drained by writing this every other day, and the quality of the posts is dropping exponentially. As a result, we've decided to take weekends off so that we can try to plan over weekends rather than writing a post an hour before midnight each night. We'll give this a try to see if we can get back into the blogging groove. 

-Laura

What I Would Do if I Entered a Short Story into a Competition

Find out... tomorrow!
(Laura can't post, and I'm waaaay too tired. She'll forgive me, if she ever finds out.)

What I Would Do if I Took CALM in Summer School

I'm in summer school. That sucks.
It's now been nearly three weeks since summer was snatched away from me, which means that I only have to endure another week and a half before I'm free to frolic in the summer sun. In the meantime, though, I must endure.
To be fair, summer school really isn't too bad. Each and every day I'm making new friends, getting to know people, and getting used to the idea that summer is, for me, shortened. I get to do gym all day, and when I'm home I can work on a short story I'm planning to send to a competition. Life is good.
Well, except for CALM.
Oh, career and life management. Thy name is CALM, and thy belief is in torture. Nobody likes you.
For those of you who don't know, CALM is basically health class with some actually useful shit thrown in- namely resumes and managing your finances.
Now, I have conflicting feelings on CALM. On one hand, it's pretty damn boring. We've already heard a lot of the material, and the new stuff gets old quite quickly. On top of that, some of their classes send mixed message, and I'm starting to think that my school wants me to do drugs.
A few days ago, a guest speaker came in and gave the usual spiel on drugs and avoiding them. That's fine, I suppose. Drugs do seem like a pretty bad idea. Soon enough, though, the dude left and we were sent back to our classrooms. There, we were given a worksheet on drugs. We were to choose four drugs, and then answer some questions about them. Most were usual questions like "what does the drug do?," but others were a lot like this;

1. What are the street names of          ? Okay, I suppose I can see how that might be useful.
2. How is             made? Umm... okay. Why do we need to know how drugs are made? Do you expect us to be making them? What are you getting at here?
3. Describe how            is taken (Smoked, injected, snorted...?). Wait, what? Why do we need to know how to take drugs? What are you trying to teach us?

So the first thing CALM taught me was how to roll marijuana into a cigar and smoke it. Great job your doing there, school.
On the other hand, CALM does seem like one of the few potentially useful classes that I'm taking. Resumes and budgeting might be important in the future, I suppose.
Unfortunately, my teacher doesn't seem to think so. A true gym teacher at heart who was forced into teaching CALM, he basically said "CALM's boring, so here's what we're going to do. First, we're going to skip most of the curriculum and just do the basics. That way we'll do it in half of the time everyone else is doing it in. We can use that extra time to go to gym class. Also, you guys should feel free to copy off each other. That way you can learn to work together."
So basically, fitness is more important then getting a job and my teacher is encouraging us to cheat. Something seems weird there.
Still, I don't mind too much. It will be nice to get it done with. In the meantime, though, we're supposed to finish CALM tomorrow, so... gotta run to my homework!

Thanks for reading,

-Mark

What I Would do if a Banana Snuck into my Room...

The credit for this one goes to my wonderfully imaginative charges for the summer. Only young kids would ask me a question that - weirdly - worked for a blog post:

"What would you do if a giant banana snuck into your room at night and woke you up and covered you in bananas."

To backtrack and explain, the kids discovered a few days ago that I loathe bananas. I hate the scent. I hate the texture. I hate the taste. It's so gross. It's like mucus in a peel.

Anyway, here is my answer to the question:

1. I would scream.

2. I would run to the bathroom and shower for at least an hour, until the banana scent was totally gone. I'd need to feel clean before I could proceed.

3. Move to the arctic, to a remote area where bananas are not imported, and live a blissful, banana-free life.

-Laura

What I Would Do if I (Gleefully) Punished Laura

Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha...
Teeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheehee...
Hohohohohohohohohohohohohohoho...
Yuckyuckyuckyuckyuckyuckyuckyuck...

Laura, your last punishment was brutal. Vegetarianism for a month? That's a tall order, even if you did give me five years to complete the task.
Luckily, I get to have my revenge early. You missed your post yesterday, and today I'll be having no mercy.
You remember What I Would Do if I Listed my Top 15 Green Day Songs? I worked for days, yes days, on that post. Thousands of words, dozens of links, and even a few pictures thrown in make that post by far the most thorough I've yet made. True, that isn't saying much considering many of my posts, but still.
With all this in mind, most would think that you would have read your brother's work, Laura. But no. You told me that it was just "too long," and until today I've had no way to force you into reading it. Now, all of that is going to change.
The following is your punishment; You must read the aforementioned post. Now, just reading the descriptions of the songs would be boring, and I don't want that. Therefore, I've devised a way to make it more immersive. As well as reading the post, you must listen to- in full- every song on that list through the links provided. That's the top fifteen, the honourable mentions, and the extra song at the end,
But wait! There's more!
Since writing that post, I've discovered many more catchy Green Day songs which I'd like to share with you. Don't worry, you don't have to listen to all of the new songs- even I'm not that cruel. You just have to listen to the best of them. Those are Amy, Going to Pasalacqua, Stay the Night, and When I Come Around. Just four more.
Now, you may think that my punishment is harsh. And it is. Again, though, it's nothing compared to what you're subjecting me to.
One last thing before I go, though. I am behind on your punishments, and so this punishment of mine does not need to be completed until I finish reading The Thief Lord.

Happy listening!

-Mark

What I Would Do if I were a Dung Beetle

Ah, I'm behind in the blogger world. I forgot to post two days ago, and the post before that isn't even fully edited. To be fair, I only didn't post because I had summer school followed by a party that lasted from 3:00 to 12:30, but punishments must be given. Oh, well. I've got some punishment catching up to do now.
But onto the question at hand!
If I was a dung beetle, I'd have a shitty life. :)

Thanks for reading,

-Mark

What I Would do if I (Gleefully) Punished Mark

Oh-ho! Someone has missed his post again! I offered a fair trade: a free post for him in exchange for a future free post for me. Unfortunately, he did not accept my deal. Therefore, I must think of a particularly gruesome punishment.

Here are my ideas:

1. You must go vegetarian for a month. (I started with eternity, then a year, and finally narrowed it down to a month. I am so nice.)

Yeah, I spent some time trying to think of a second idea to give you a choice between them, but I actually couldn't. So, vegetarian for a month it is! The plus side is that it can be thirty days of your choosing between now and your twentieth birthday.

-Laura

What I Would do if I Defended Dandelions

In my childhood home, I would always know the second spring had actually arrived. How, you may ask? Well, because of my father's anguished cry:

"They're back!!!"

Yes, he was referring to the beautiful, bright yellow weeds that had popped up all over our lawn, bestowing a bit of cheeriness to the sneeze-fest that grass brings. I am allergic to grass, which makes me slightly biased, but that's not the point.

The point is, what's not to love?

I would not suggest trying to drink nectar out of the bottom. My older sister told me it was milk when I was a child. Drinking it was not a wise decision.

However, that's really the one downside.

I mean, it's really a happy plant that livens up the dullest of lawns (assuming it doesn't kill all of the grass).

The cheery yellow colour can stain your skin if you rub the dandelion heads against your arm: free, natural dye!

I also hear that dandelions can be pretty good in tea and salad, but I'm a bit reluctant to try that after my last attempt at ingesting them. I'd much rather admire them and the beauty they bring to a lawn.

Of course, though, the best part is when they die and turn into balls of fairy dust. I think everyone has tried to recreate this iconic moment:

If you haven't, you're lying, you had a terrible childhood, or you're boring (sorry).

You spread the seeds and make a wish. Nothing is more satisfying than watching the dandelion seeds fly away on the wind or your breath.

So, I'm sorry, dandelions, that you get so little love. I think you're pretty great.

-Laura

What I Would Do if I Reviewed "A Long Way Gone"

Today, it's time for some shameless self-advertisment. 

A very few of you will know that What I Would Do is far from my first attempt at blogging. In fact, over my illustrious blogging adventure I've worked on six or seven sites. Most of these were dismal failures, true, but a few run to this day. One of those, and the first blog I ever independently worked on, is the imaginatively titled Mark's Book Blog. You see, I write about books. On a blog. My name's Mark. Pretty self explanatory, really.

I was writing a post for Mark's Book Blog awhile back, when I had the bright idea to squeeze some extra use out of it. What I Would Do always needs new posts, I thought. Thus, we have the original post over at Mark's Book Blog, and this little piece here to give you a taste of my other work. 

Now, let's dive right in.

................................................................................................................................................

 With some nonfiction novels, the subject matter seems so extraordinary that one feels the author must have made something up. I knew from the start the A Long Way Gone was supposed to be true, 
but this didn't hit home until I started reading. The action was nonstop, near-death experiences began to compound and through it all I was left shaking my head and wondering how the story could possibly be factual. 


A Long Way Gone follows the struggles of a twelve-year-old boy throughout the Sierra Leonean civil war. In Ishmael Beah’s bestselling memoir, we are given a first-hand account of the unstoppably destructive nature of war, and it’s affect on youth. Although the book is full of oppression and suffering, that is not it's main focus. A Long Way Gone is a triumphant celebration of the indomitable spirit of young people through oppression.

I've never before read a memoir as fast-paced as this before. True, that's because I haven't read any memoirs asides from A Long Way Gone, but still. Starting off at a jog, the novel transitions into a run just a few pages in and breaks into a full sprint as it approaches the climax. During the rare occasions when the momentum losses steam, you have only to wait a few pages for the slack to be picked up once again. 

On the one hand you might want to complement the author for his storytelling ability, and Beah is legitimately skillful in his craft. That said, it would be hard to mess this story up, as it's chock full of interesting material which (as previously mentioned) never lets off steam.
The number of horrors Beah went through is astounding. Starting off in his home village, he is chased for months through the African bush while rebel and government forces savage the land. Separated from his family, Beah had only himself and a handful of old friends to count on for support. Multiple times he finds himself at gunpoint, with the luckiest things saving his neck.
Finally, it seems like Beah's days are numbered when he finds the village he’d sought shelter in surrounded by rebel troops, with only a small government force to defend him. That defending force offers him and the townspeople a single choice; join the government forces or take their chances with the rebels. Suddenly, Beah finds himself a child soldier, and his life will never be the same.

Now, with all of this in mind you start to wonder what the author's feelings on the matter were and are. The interesting thing is, the authors voice is passive throughout. Perhaps once in the entire novel does Beah interject and share his current thoughts on the horrors he experienced; asides from that, we’re kept in the dark on his current thoughts. He shows no self pity or self loathing. He tells the story how it was, with little bias on any matter. This to me is incredible, considering what Beah went through. First his home and family were lost, then his childhood altogether. Beah spent two years of his life in a drugged, warlike state with no other thoughts besides getting another drug dose and getting revenge on his family. Yet still, he shows no anger at what had been done to him. 
It was interesting to read this story as a counter to fictional war stories I’ve read. In those stories, there was always a keen sense of remorse throughout the entire journey, and the hero is portrayed as the hero unconditionally. There are clear lines between good and evil throughout. Beah on the other hand didn’t seem to have too many thoughts of right and wrong after the first conflict. Completely brainwashed, he only acted on a kill-or-be-killed mentality. There was no hero, no good or evil. Only the living and dead.
Though like any book, there were still faults to be found. The most nagging question in my mind would have to be my doubts on the credibility of this book.
As I said earlier, the plot of this book could have come out of a movie. I might have accepted one or two seemingly miraculous circumstances in this book, but when they started to compound I began to have some doubts. For example, at one point Beah says he found himself lined up with a group of friends, about to be shot through the head. Right at that moment a hail of gunfire distracts the gunmen, allowing Beah to escape. Later on in the novel, Beah learns that his parents are alive and taking refuge in a nearby village. He and his party set out to that village, but literally minutes before entering it’s attacked and Beah is forced to run once more. Two incredible stories, but ones which I find hard to believe.
Another thing that could distort the facts would be the drugs that Beah took while serving as a soldier. These may have caused some details of his service to be obscured or embellished. Perhaps he even confused dream with reality, in such a fragile mental state as it seems he was.
I did look the book up to see if anyone had similar thoughts to be, and it turns out that one Australian newspaper called the book out for being inaccurate. Among other things, the village he lived in was supposedly attacked two years later then what he said in the book, which would have made the storyline much more condensed then he said. Perhaps he served in the army for months rather then years. Still, the Australian newspaper seems to be alone in it’s claims, and so for the moment I’ll suspend disbelief and imagine the story as true. 
Asides from that potentially crippling hiccup in the A Long Way Gone saga, I have few complaints with the book. However, I would warn a potential reader that it ends quite abruptly, and I think that an additional 50 or 100 pages could easily be tacked onto the back of the book. As well, the novel zips along so quickly that at times you do feel that more explanation is needed, and sometimes you also want more comment from the modern Beah on his previous self. He tells the story; he doesn’t go into deep thoughts and feelings.
All in all, this book is well worth a read. Although I have unsettled feelings about it now that a seed of doubt regarding it’s credibility has been planted in my head, it does make a fascinating account of war from a fresh perspective. On top of that, I inadvertently gave it my seal of approval when I stayed up till 1:00AM reading the thing, and if that doesn’t say something about the book, I don’t know what does.

Thanks for reading,

-Mark





PS: That was not the original text. The original post was entitled "What I Would Do if I Endured Another Punishment," with that post being located below. However, I took advantage of Laura not having seen that post yet and wrote this new one in a bid to evade my punishment. Let's see if Laura will read this far!

What I Would Do if I Endured Another Punishment

I know that I still have to read that book as a punishment, but I'm afraid you might have to give me another one, sis. Do your worst!

-Mark

What I Would do if I Actually Connected to my Heritage

Today I had a lovely, surprising experience when I went out to dinner with an old teacher of mine and some of his other former students. He mentioned that Welsh people are renowned for their singing - and singing everywhere - and that I should know that, since my last name is Welsh.

I just found that to be very cool, because, as a Canadian, I don't always have a very stereotypical heritage to connect to. I connect to the multiculturalism of Canada and the things like equality and acceptance that go with a multicultural country. However, a country that is such a mix of cultures doesn't always allow for a strong connection to heritage.

Anyway, my teacher said that you can go out for dinner and just hear people singing at their tables. Wales is renowned for their male choirs, I know. My grandfather was evacuated to Wales in WWII and had to sing in a boys choir (and hated it). I also read that Wales is called "the land of song". Isn't that a beautiful title to have? I'm just imagining rolling green hills with music lifting up from the ground.

Anyhow, I just suddenly imagined scores of my ancestors going through life singing, and it was thrilling. I really feel part of something, all of a sudden. I feel like my love of singing comes from somewhere.

It was a really neat thing to discover.

-Laura

What I Would Do if I Wrote a Hiaku

Laura's post was bad
But not quite as bad as mine
I'm very tired

-Mark

What I Would do if I Wrote an 8-Word Post

Tired
Sleepy
Deaf
Sad

Typing
Bedtime
Laura
Glad

-Laura

What I Would Do if I Skipped School

Long have I yearned to skip school.
Oftentimes it seems as though my life revolves around my schoolwork. My day is devoted to procrastinating before doing my homework, my week, waiting for the weekend. Ultimately all I want is the summer, which this year I find cruelly tainted by summer school.
Sometimes I have to remind myself that, in the long run, school is a mere prep for the real world. I could, hypothetically, refuse to go to my classes, and somehow make my living elsewhere. I could deal drugs for the rest of my life, or just work at KFC. The only problem is that would be a stupidly stupid move.
With all of this in mind, perhaps it's no wonder that I've often wanted to just throw my hands in the air one day and abandon school. It would be so easy. Too easy...

1. Essential to the success of my plan would be having Julia and/or Laura involved. The problem is, I'd have to give them a damn good reason for helping me out. Perhaps I could find one, perhaps not, but either way I'd beg. Siblings are useful for some things.

2. Also vital to me going undetected would be picking the right day for the scheme. My dad's usually at work, so he'd be no barrier. My mum usually stays at home, but oftentimes she'll go out in the day for whatever reason. I'd simply have to ask what day she was, say, going to the gym. Then I'd be ready.
I'd also want to pick a day that my sisters were home, assuming that they'd agreed to help me.

3. Once the day was set and the sisters were on board (or weren't), then it would be a simple matter of saying that I was going to bike to school to douse any spark of suspicion my parents might have before it even began. First, I'd casually steal some money from my parents, then away I'd go, heading towards the school.

4. Now we'll leave my frolicking self for a minute and go back home, where my brilliant plan would be executed. The school would soon realize that I was not in attendance, and so would call home to see what's up. That's where my sisters come in, and my mum's absence becomes key. One of my sisters would answer the phone, announce that I'm sick or some such lie, and the school would be convinced. I highly doubt they'd know the difference between my mum's voice and my sister's.

5. As for me, I'd take my stolen money and bike all around town. I might want to go to a candy store for starters, and then move onto places like Second Cup and other retailers of sugary goods. I could bike to the mall, and test my luck at getting in to see a movie. Throughout it all I'd carry my iPad so that I could write about it on the blog, as that would make a thriller of a post.
What about the people who were suspicious of a lone kid walking around on a school day, you ask? Anyone who inquired would be told that my school board had a holiday, and seeing as there are multiple boards they couldn't rightly call me out. Sure, they might stay suspicious, but I doubt any of them would feel so strongly that they'd take committed action against me.

6. After it all, I'd be able to roll into my driveway cooly with no one being the wiser. True, my parents might find out one day. They have a way of finding these things out. Still, I'd have had quite the adventure, and when you factor in he many times I'd laughingly recall the story in my later life, it might just be worth it.

Thanks for reading,

-Mark

What I Would do if I Googled "What I Would do"

I thought that this would be a fun one to do. I'm going to ignore all hits related to this blog and instead focus on all of the other great ones! Without further ado, here are the searches that appear:

1. http://www.loc.gov/poetry/180/063.html : A poem by Marc Petersen that tells the tale of a man with severe relationship insecurity and vengeance issues. It also sounds as though his relationship with his wife kind of sucked in the first place if he's blaring "ode to joy", so he clearly has some major issues if he would do such horrible things to his wife for cheating in a marriage that wasn't working for him either; I'm thinking possible psychopathic tendencies. However, he likes cats, so points to him for that. Still, he may want to consider couples' therapy or therapy for his anger issues , psychopathic issues, and general insecurity. I can't say that this was my favourite piece of poetry I've ever read, but you're welcome to click the link and see if our tastes differ.

2. http://www.thingsiwoulddotobangscarlettjohansson.com : A lovely website by a clearly very horny human being with way too much time on their hands. However, their list is very creative, including things like getting two sex changes, changing bellybutton types (NO!!!), betting his or her life-savings on a  preschool soccer game, and eating a car seat. I could go on, but I ended up not finishing it... sorry...

3. http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/b5/thingsiwoulddo.html : This appears to be lyrics to a shitty pop song with atrocious grammar, probably using about three chords and including a rap break. I'm not sure it describes a healthy relationship, either; read with caution.

4. http://genius.com/1885654 : Look! Lyrics to an even worse pop song. Again, I haven't heard it, but I assume it's by some rapper guy because of his name and the rather large concentration of profanity and grammatical errors. That isn't even going into all the derogatory-towards-women content. You've gotta love modern music.

5. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3116625/I-don-t-know-without-Man-s-tear-jerking-proposal-high-school-sweetheart-day-chemotherapy-cancer-battle-captured-video.html : Wow. This was something interesting to stumble across. A man proposes beautifully to his girlfriend after she finishes chemotherapy. I have to admit, I didn't watch the video, but even reading the description made me teary, so it was a wise decision on my part, I think. What a beautiful way to end this post. Congratulations to them!

-Laura

What I Would Do if I Went to Summerschool (Part 1)

Today was my first day of summer school. I don't much like it.
There's something inherently wrong about going to school in the summer. So wrong, in fact, that I don't even want to write about it. Peace, brothers. I'm tired.

-Mark

What I Would do if I Listed the Best Things About Canada

Here's the obligatory Canada Day post! Yes, it's the first of July, and today's the day that we celebrate being from up North, eh? We get our polar bears saddled, step out of our igloos, and ride to the big igloo in Ottawa where we light some fireworks!

Just kidding; lighting fireworks would melt our igloos. Where would we live then?

Seriously, though, jokes aside, I love being Canadian!

Here's why:

1. We've been rated as the most educated country in the world multiple times (http://www.yongestreetmedia.ca/inthenews/canada081413.aspx). That's some very exciting news!

2. That may also be one of the reasons that last year, we were rated as the second most tolerant country in the world (http://www.therichest.com/rich-list/nation/the-10-most-tolerant-nations-in-the-world/9/). I guess it helps that just about everyone here came from somewhere else first. That's excluding our lovely First Nations people, of course! Anyway, we're a big mumbo jumbo of cultures, religions, and race, which is pretty cool.

3. We have real maple syrup. I always want to cry when we go abroad and get fed that horrible Aunt Jemima crap. It doesn't taste nearly as good as the real thing. Come on, people! Step up your maple syrup game! We also have things like poutine (which I can't eat, being a vegetarian, although vegetarian versions can be pretty great) and beaver tails, also known as elephant ears (which I can eat, being a vegetarian, because they're basically just crêpes with delicious toppings that will give you heart disease). In short, our food game is strong.

4. We're officially bilingual! That means that we can listen to French radio, buy French books, and just generally enjoy the existence of our lovely francophone Canadians. Also, depending on where you live, you may also meet people who are actually bilingual aside from a few heavily accented words. (You'll have more luck out East, I'm afraid).

5. We generally have a pretty good international reputation. Not totally, and things are certainly going downhill due to certain decisions by a certain man, but it's nice that we don't get hated on as much as other countries when we go abroad, generally. That is, if people can tell us apart from Americans. No, we're not the same country. Our accents are slightly different, actually, but most people can't hear that.

6. We're a ginormous country. We're the second largest country in the world, but the nice thing is that our population is relatively small. That means things aren't too crowded, and you can still find a lot of wilderness, particularly up North. Most of us live near the bottom of our country, because things can get pretty cold and dark if you go up too far. Anyway, that means that there are many different cultures within my country. There are lots of different accents, climates, and people in general. Awesome, right?

7. We get really cold winters. In Edmonton, where I grew up, things could get as cold as -45 degrees Celsius, which is really, really cold. Still, we didn't get a single snow day. That's the good part about going to university out East. Things aren't nearly as cold, but they get storms of a whole other type; huge blizzards and piles and piles of snow (we could have tunnelled out of our back door this winter).  In other words, they need snow days, because there is literally no way to get anywhere when there is another fresh meter of snow covering the road. On the plus side, that leaves us with lots of bragging rights and some lovely unexpected holidays.

8. Canada is gorgeous. I have yet to see anywhere I love more than the Rockies (the mountains in Alberta/British Colombia). If you haven't seen them, you've missed out. They're vast, gorgeous, and also generally beautifully quiet and unpopulated. I love the wilderness. I love the prairies. I love driving by bright yellow fields of canola. I love the huge forests in BC. I love the rolling hills out East. I really hate the ocean, but, yeah, the coast is pretty gorgeous too. Basically, my point is that this whole country is beautiful.

9. We have free healthcare and social security. That means that if I am about to kill myself, I can go to the hospital for free, instead of killing myself because I don't want to pay however many hundreds of dollars.

10. Our paper money is rainbow coloured. And our coins are called loonies and toonies. Yeah, that's pretty cool.

11. We get to use American or British spelling and grammar rules. It pretty much depends on your teachers and their preferences. Still, people are generally pretty tolerant if you use different spellings.

12. We have some awesome rights and freedoms. Canada is a pretty great place to live overall.

Really, the only negative thing about Canada is this guy here:

....I guess that no country can be perfect. We're still hoping that the US might take him.

Happy Canada day, everyone!

-Laura