Well, it appears that something wonky has happened with this blogging thing. Sigh. I am now just very confused, but since my brother appears to have decided to reverse our days, voilà. Here I am, writing this blog post instead of finishing my bazillion page paper that's due tomorrow. (P.S. I know I'm right, because I've been lamenting that I have to write on odd days of the week when I love even numbers).
So, this is what I would do if I were a dutiful student:
1. I would have finished my essay much earlier. In my defence, I've been having issues with depressive episodes and when I've been feeling like a functional, real human, I've been holed up in the library. But, what can you do...
2. I'd have chosen an easier topic. What on earth possessed me to choose a song cycle with TEN SONGS in it??? I think I thought it was interesting. It's less interesting with the prospect of an all-nighter and two tests on Tuesday looming over me.
3. I'd be working rather than writing a blog post (oops).
4. I wouldn't be sick. I don't know how this relates to being a dutiful student, but my brain is fried and I'm sick of having this blasted sore throat and asthma clogged lungs.
5. I would not be feeling like my life is spinning out of control. (well, it IS exam season).
-Laura
Sunday, 30 November 2014
Saturday, 29 November 2014
What I Would do if Laura Falsely Accused me of Missing my Blog Post/What I Would do if I Won NaNoWriMo
A few interesting things happened to me today.
I woke up, had some doctors use me to demonstrate how to use some heart-scanning thingie (my dads a cardiologist, and sometimes uses me as a test subject for his hospitals funky heart things), practiced voice, won NaNoWriMo (more on that later), read half of John Greens Paper Towns, and then went onto blogger to dutifully complete my blog post for the day. BUT THEN I saw a blog post that had been written in my blog posts place. The title of this was What I Would do to Mark for Missing his Post. I looked at this. I stared. I checked my calendar to see when the last posts had been written, to see if I had miscounted days. But no! Laura had written her usual post on the 28'th. And today is the 29'th!
Of course, I was shocked that I was falsely accused of missing my blog post. But I still will heed my promise to make a post on this blog every other day, and so here it is. Now I have two subjects for today, so let me dive right in with the first, 'what I would do if Laura falsely accused me of missing a day of blogging.'
1. I would, as I previously stated, be shocked.
2. I would write a blog post aimed to humiliate her on her inability to keep track of days of the week. The day was not yet done, my sister! In fact it probably was, Halifax time. But still, for me, it's not!
3. Nah, I'm just joking sis. No hard feelings. I was just hurt that you thought I wouldn't keep my side of the bargain! (sniff sniff) ;)
Seeing as I'm not a very vengeful person, I'll leave my punishment at that. Also, I can't think of any good punishments that I could impose upon my sister. And so instead, I'll move onto part two...
What I Would do if I Won NaNoWriMo
Today I won NaNoWriMo! Hooray, hooray! And a day early, I might add. Oh, this could be part of my punishment for Laura; I can rub it in that I won!
You see, at one point in the month I fell slightly behind in NaNoWriMo, and Laura said something along the lines of "Well, I'm not really surprised." Of course, by this she only meant that she knew that NaNo was difficult. I, however, took this as a personal challenge. In fact, I think that it's partially the reason I won NaNo. But now, I can rub it in. Take that! :) And so that I don't ramble for to long here, lets jump right in.m This is what I did when I won NaNo...
1. Upon approaching 50 000 words, I was quite literally shaking with excitement. I was sort of writing in a daze, which was convenient because my main character was in a daze as well. He'd just been shot, you see.
2. At 49 950 words, my father came and told me that he needed his computer. Dutifully, I gave it to him.
3. When I got it back, I wrote my remaining fifty words, at which point I felt an extreme sense of accomplishment and punched my bed in celebration. I would have whooped and cheered, but we had company downstairs, so...
4. I wrote a few hundred more words, and was just about to officially validate my novel on the NaNoWriMo site when I was called downstairs for supper. Really?
5. After supper I sent out texts to both my sisters, gloating.
6. Then I sank back happily, and proclaimed to the world; "World, you should do NaNoWriMo!" And that means you, reader.
Anyways, I should probably go, 'cause I've still got some more words to write for my novel to reach completion. In the meantime, thanks for reading, and I will, naturally, see you in two days.
-Mark
What I Would do to Mark for Missing his Post
Well, it has come to my attention that Mark forgot to post yesterday. I'm not actually upset because he posted for me several days in a row, and this is a busy time of year anyway (more so for me with exams). In any case, if Mark were within arms reach, this is what I would do to him as punishment:
1. Tickle torture: a big sister's ultimate weapon!
2. Lock him in a room and blare opera music. I don't know if he still hates opera, but I know that listening to it all day could get irritating. So, yes, I'd lock him in a room and blare the loudest coloratura soprano arias that I could, or make him watch the most boring operas (yes, there are definitely a couple that are quite yawn-worthy).
3. Ban him from sweets for a week. That boy lives off sugar and is still as thin as a pin. Teach me your ways, oh wise one!
4. Steal one of his nerf guns and make him my target (yes, he would have to stand still).
5. Cook a bunch of vegetables and make him eat them all in addition to several crazy vegetarian meals.
But, really, it's okay Mark. You're forgiven this once.
-Laura
1. Tickle torture: a big sister's ultimate weapon!
2. Lock him in a room and blare opera music. I don't know if he still hates opera, but I know that listening to it all day could get irritating. So, yes, I'd lock him in a room and blare the loudest coloratura soprano arias that I could, or make him watch the most boring operas (yes, there are definitely a couple that are quite yawn-worthy).
3. Ban him from sweets for a week. That boy lives off sugar and is still as thin as a pin. Teach me your ways, oh wise one!
4. Steal one of his nerf guns and make him my target (yes, he would have to stand still).
5. Cook a bunch of vegetables and make him eat them all in addition to several crazy vegetarian meals.
But, really, it's okay Mark. You're forgiven this once.
-Laura
Thursday, 27 November 2014
What I Would Teach Everyone in the World
Alright. This is a blog post where I try to solve some of the most basic world problems through education. I'm sure there are more important issues than these (and probably more that I would think of if I planned this better; there may be a part two).
Anyway, these are some of the basic things I think everyone needs to learn:
1. Okay. This "everyone" applies mostly to Anglophones. Get ready to hate me, because the first one is... grammar! Alright, not everything to do with grammar. That would be nice, but I know that it's not probable. No, there are just two big grammar pet peeves that I would like to introduce to the world:
a) Well vs. good: NEVER say anything along the lines of "You/I/she/any pronoun/name did good". "Good" is an adjective. "Well" is an adverb. Since "doing" is a verb, you would describe it with an adverb. Correction: "You did well."
b) Quotation vs. quote: Even textbooks are making this mistake, and it breaks my heart. "Quotation" is a noun. "To quote" is a verb. Therefore, I can say something like "to quote (name), 'pears are better than apples'". I cannot say "this quote from (name) shows that he/she believes that pears are better than apples". NO! It is quotation.
2. Regardless of how you're feeling, it's never okay to hurt someone else. Come on, guys, life is tough enough without us bringing other people down. You may feel as though your life is terrible, but, if that's the case, make someone else's life a little bit better. Honestly, this goes back to the childhood rule of treat others how you want to be treated.
3. If you can, keep judgment and gossip to a minimum. We never know what's going on in someone else's life, and it's absolutely not okay to put someone down to make yourself feel superior.
4. You can't judge an entire group of people by a few individuals' actions. This applies, at the moment, particularly to how people are perceiving Muslims right now. I was absolutely shocked and disgusted when I was reading an article about a Muslim terrorist issue in the United States and all of the comments said things like "Muslims shouldn't be allowed to stay here" and "Islam is destructive". Seriously?? No religion is destructive in itself. It's when people warp it and use it for a bad purpose that it becomes a problem, but that's not every Muslim. Not every woman who wears a hijab is oppressed. It can be her on choice. And, believe it or not, not every Muslim is a terrorist, just like most Christians don't agree with people like the Westborough Baptist Church. Can we please all just learn to accept each other?
5. It's okay to struggle. Personally, I have huge issues with depression, and I'm still learning that it's okay. Everyone is struggling with something. If we were riding high all of the time, life might be pretty boring.
6. You should never let go of your creativity. It's so sad to think that becoming an adult is synonymous with becoming fully rational and totally uncreative. I never want to lose my imagination. Imagination is what makes life so beautiful.
7. There is value to every single person. Self-explanatory.
8. It's okay to have different beliefs. As long as your beliefs aren't harming anyone else, it shouldn't matter. Let people live the life they want to live by their own rules (hopefully one of those rules will include kindness).
I'll leave it there for now. I'm sure there are more, but those are the big ones today!
-Laura
Anyway, these are some of the basic things I think everyone needs to learn:
1. Okay. This "everyone" applies mostly to Anglophones. Get ready to hate me, because the first one is... grammar! Alright, not everything to do with grammar. That would be nice, but I know that it's not probable. No, there are just two big grammar pet peeves that I would like to introduce to the world:
a) Well vs. good: NEVER say anything along the lines of "You/I/she/any pronoun/name did good". "Good" is an adjective. "Well" is an adverb. Since "doing" is a verb, you would describe it with an adverb. Correction: "You did well."
b) Quotation vs. quote: Even textbooks are making this mistake, and it breaks my heart. "Quotation" is a noun. "To quote" is a verb. Therefore, I can say something like "to quote (name), 'pears are better than apples'". I cannot say "this quote from (name) shows that he/she believes that pears are better than apples". NO! It is quotation.
2. Regardless of how you're feeling, it's never okay to hurt someone else. Come on, guys, life is tough enough without us bringing other people down. You may feel as though your life is terrible, but, if that's the case, make someone else's life a little bit better. Honestly, this goes back to the childhood rule of treat others how you want to be treated.
3. If you can, keep judgment and gossip to a minimum. We never know what's going on in someone else's life, and it's absolutely not okay to put someone down to make yourself feel superior.
4. You can't judge an entire group of people by a few individuals' actions. This applies, at the moment, particularly to how people are perceiving Muslims right now. I was absolutely shocked and disgusted when I was reading an article about a Muslim terrorist issue in the United States and all of the comments said things like "Muslims shouldn't be allowed to stay here" and "Islam is destructive". Seriously?? No religion is destructive in itself. It's when people warp it and use it for a bad purpose that it becomes a problem, but that's not every Muslim. Not every woman who wears a hijab is oppressed. It can be her on choice. And, believe it or not, not every Muslim is a terrorist, just like most Christians don't agree with people like the Westborough Baptist Church. Can we please all just learn to accept each other?
5. It's okay to struggle. Personally, I have huge issues with depression, and I'm still learning that it's okay. Everyone is struggling with something. If we were riding high all of the time, life might be pretty boring.
6. You should never let go of your creativity. It's so sad to think that becoming an adult is synonymous with becoming fully rational and totally uncreative. I never want to lose my imagination. Imagination is what makes life so beautiful.
7. There is value to every single person. Self-explanatory.
8. It's okay to have different beliefs. As long as your beliefs aren't harming anyone else, it shouldn't matter. Let people live the life they want to live by their own rules (hopefully one of those rules will include kindness).
I'll leave it there for now. I'm sure there are more, but those are the big ones today!
-Laura
What I Would do if The Lord of the Rings Movies Were Remade
The Lord of the Rings is an awesome movie series. The books aren't all that bad either, but the movies... they're quite possibly my favourite movies of all time. And this has got me thinking... what would I do if the movies were remade? This is what I would do...
1. Upon hearing the news, I would fly into a rage, and then be secretly exited.
2. I would call every last one of my friends and tell them the news. We would then have many long, deep conversations as to what we thought the movie would be like.
3. I'd audition for a role. Any role at all. Frankly, I'd be thrilled if they let me be one of 1000 orcs in a shot.
4. Assuming I didn't even snag a part as a orc, which I probably wouldn't, I'd still fly down to wherever it was being filmed and search the area until I found where it was being shot. Then I'd hang around, looking for a glimpse of anything at all, until I was discovered and dragged away.
5. I would begin ticking off the days until the movie came out.
6. When it finally did come out, I would wait in line for hours just to see the very first screening of the movie.
7. I would watch the movie, and then be severely disappointed when it wasn't as good as the original. Because nothing can ever top the original.
8. I'd sulk.
9. Finally, disappointed and down, I would wait fifty or so years until the next instalment came out.
And I'm not even too hardcore of a Lord of the Rings fan.
Thanks for reading,
-Mark
1. Upon hearing the news, I would fly into a rage, and then be secretly exited.
2. I would call every last one of my friends and tell them the news. We would then have many long, deep conversations as to what we thought the movie would be like.
3. I'd audition for a role. Any role at all. Frankly, I'd be thrilled if they let me be one of 1000 orcs in a shot.
4. Assuming I didn't even snag a part as a orc, which I probably wouldn't, I'd still fly down to wherever it was being filmed and search the area until I found where it was being shot. Then I'd hang around, looking for a glimpse of anything at all, until I was discovered and dragged away.
5. I would begin ticking off the days until the movie came out.
6. When it finally did come out, I would wait in line for hours just to see the very first screening of the movie.
7. I would watch the movie, and then be severely disappointed when it wasn't as good as the original. Because nothing can ever top the original.
8. I'd sulk.
9. Finally, disappointed and down, I would wait fifty or so years until the next instalment came out.
And I'm not even too hardcore of a Lord of the Rings fan.
Thanks for reading,
-Mark
Wednesday, 26 November 2014
What I Would do if my Brother Were Here
Well, I feel like I need to respond to that beautiful last post of Mark's. The sibling love is too great, especially when I'm this emotional due to exam stress (sniff, sniff).
Anyway, as Mark covered, we are currently across the country from each other. The worst part of this is that every time I see my brother, he's shot up another few inches above me. It's a little bit tragic when you become the shortest in the family.
Fun fact: when my brother was born, I went into the hospital to see him for the first time and he smelled AWFUL because he'd just done his business in his diaper. I ran out into the waiting room and cried because I wanted a dog instead (brother was last on my wish list). Interestingly enough, now we're best friends. He's a pretty cool guy, and he's so nice and optimistic, which would be especially welcome right now when it's rainy and cold and stressful! (I mean, come on, Halifax. Edmonton's had snow on and off since September).
Anyway, if Mark could come here right now, this is what I would do:
1. Give him a bazillion big sister hugs and embarrass him.
2. Take him to Second Cup and buy him hot chocolate and a peanut butter cookie (a tradition of ours for at least 7 years).
3. Show him around my school and take him to my classes so he could see what university is like. I have a feeling he'd like music history! My other classes, maybe not so much. I bet he'd like the university library, though. It's dusty and smells like old people, but it's so big and quiet and it automatically makes me feel like working (which is really nice at this time of year).
4. Introduce him to all of my friends and my voice prof. I'm pretty proud of my little brother.
5. Have a writing party. I haven't had time to write much outside of blog posts and essays and research notes and music notes lately.
6. Practice performing for him. Mark is, as stated above, the nicest person I've ever met, which means that he's really fun to perform to. No judgment there, my friends.
7. Give him piano lessons. I'm trying to teach him piano, but it's a bit tough from across the country.
8. Generally have an awesome time.
9. Road trips!!!
10. Eat junk food. Is it healthy? God, no. But is it cathartic during exam time? Yes. Does it make you a cool older sister? Yes. (Side-note: the way to a little brother's heart is through his stomach. We became friends through Second Cup. Now we have progressed to bulk barn.)
11. Generally have an awesome time!
Yes, I miss my brother. Thank your lucky stars if you have siblings, because a) they pretty much HAVE to like you... again, I don't really get siblings that don't get along, either b) they're friends for life! c) they can co-blog with you and fill in for you when you are stressed or hospitalized.
Love you, bro!
Anyway, as Mark covered, we are currently across the country from each other. The worst part of this is that every time I see my brother, he's shot up another few inches above me. It's a little bit tragic when you become the shortest in the family.
Fun fact: when my brother was born, I went into the hospital to see him for the first time and he smelled AWFUL because he'd just done his business in his diaper. I ran out into the waiting room and cried because I wanted a dog instead (brother was last on my wish list). Interestingly enough, now we're best friends. He's a pretty cool guy, and he's so nice and optimistic, which would be especially welcome right now when it's rainy and cold and stressful! (I mean, come on, Halifax. Edmonton's had snow on and off since September).
Anyway, if Mark could come here right now, this is what I would do:
1. Give him a bazillion big sister hugs and embarrass him.
2. Take him to Second Cup and buy him hot chocolate and a peanut butter cookie (a tradition of ours for at least 7 years).
3. Show him around my school and take him to my classes so he could see what university is like. I have a feeling he'd like music history! My other classes, maybe not so much. I bet he'd like the university library, though. It's dusty and smells like old people, but it's so big and quiet and it automatically makes me feel like working (which is really nice at this time of year).
4. Introduce him to all of my friends and my voice prof. I'm pretty proud of my little brother.
5. Have a writing party. I haven't had time to write much outside of blog posts and essays and research notes and music notes lately.
6. Practice performing for him. Mark is, as stated above, the nicest person I've ever met, which means that he's really fun to perform to. No judgment there, my friends.
7. Give him piano lessons. I'm trying to teach him piano, but it's a bit tough from across the country.
8. Generally have an awesome time.
9. Road trips!!!
10. Eat junk food. Is it healthy? God, no. But is it cathartic during exam time? Yes. Does it make you a cool older sister? Yes. (Side-note: the way to a little brother's heart is through his stomach. We became friends through Second Cup. Now we have progressed to bulk barn.)
11. Generally have an awesome time!
Yes, I miss my brother. Thank your lucky stars if you have siblings, because a) they pretty much HAVE to like you... again, I don't really get siblings that don't get along, either b) they're friends for life! c) they can co-blog with you and fill in for you when you are stressed or hospitalized.
Love you, bro!
Tuesday, 25 November 2014
What I Would do if my Sisters Were Here Now
My sisters are both in Halifax.
For those of you without siblings, know that this sucks. Because siblings are awesome. You know each other super well, you can talk to each other about just about anything, and they're your lifetime best friends. You hear, of course, about those families where the siblings hate each other. I personally am shocked by this. At least in my family, you love your siblings so much that you can never stay truly angry at them for more then an hour or so, and even those moments are rare. A family where none of the siblings ever like each other... that would be awful.
Now, as great as siblings are, there effect on your life is slightly reduced when they decide to fly X miles across the country to university. Thats why I'm so exited for when they get back to Edmonton for christmas in a few weeks! There are so many things I want to do when they get back...
First of all, I want to just spend time with them. Chilling out together, whether it be reading books, playing games or just being in the same approximate area as one another is always fun. I look forward to homework parties, writing parties, reading parties, wii parties, even sims parties. Everything's a party when your siblings are around.
Perhaps my favourite thing to do all together as sibs is ski. Skiing is my favourite sport, and it's great when you can do that with other people. Laura and I ski together a lot in Canmore. Julia, my oldest sister, is just learning the ropes, but is quickly improving. It doesn't matter who, it's fun skiing with either of them.
One thing that I love to do with Julia in particular is running. Laura, unfortunately, has back trouble and so can't join in the fun. Me and Julia, however, just ran a half marathon together in September, which was a blast. When you run, you really have nothing better to do then simply talk, and so you do, and get to know the person your running with even better. And there's almost no greater feeling then finishing a race together. As much as I can hate running sometimes, it's awesome when I'm with my sister. We won't be doing that much running in December, though...
One thing that we can do in December, however, is go sledding! I always kick myself at the end of the year when I've only gone sledding a few times. What's not to love? And again, sharing experiences like sledding with your sibs is awesome.
One of the more specific things I'm looking forward to when my sisters come home is movie-watching. Both the Hobbit and the Hunger Games movies are coming out soon (maybe they're already out. I don't know), and I plan to watch both with my sisters. A big tub of popcorn and a litre of pop... what's not to love?
And finally, as I feel I should say this, all of the other little things that make having a sibling awesome. Sneaking out to buy hot chocolate. Being able to talk so freely with one other, making jokes and making fun of one another teasingly all day. Singing random songs. Showing each other youtube videos. Saying what funny thing happened in your day. Just rejoicing in the awesomeness of having a sibling.
And so I'll give a message to a few people out there in the world. To newlyweds, have at least two kids. An only child will be forever lonely. And probably spoiled, as well. Your kids need siblings to stop the others from getting too big of heads. But don't have any more then three kids. Overpopulation, right?
To people with siblings; love them. They're awesome.
To people without siblings; get a cat or a dog. You need a companion.
And finally, to my sisters; you're awesome, and I love both you gals.
Thanks for reading,
-Mark
For those of you without siblings, know that this sucks. Because siblings are awesome. You know each other super well, you can talk to each other about just about anything, and they're your lifetime best friends. You hear, of course, about those families where the siblings hate each other. I personally am shocked by this. At least in my family, you love your siblings so much that you can never stay truly angry at them for more then an hour or so, and even those moments are rare. A family where none of the siblings ever like each other... that would be awful.
Now, as great as siblings are, there effect on your life is slightly reduced when they decide to fly X miles across the country to university. Thats why I'm so exited for when they get back to Edmonton for christmas in a few weeks! There are so many things I want to do when they get back...
First of all, I want to just spend time with them. Chilling out together, whether it be reading books, playing games or just being in the same approximate area as one another is always fun. I look forward to homework parties, writing parties, reading parties, wii parties, even sims parties. Everything's a party when your siblings are around.
Perhaps my favourite thing to do all together as sibs is ski. Skiing is my favourite sport, and it's great when you can do that with other people. Laura and I ski together a lot in Canmore. Julia, my oldest sister, is just learning the ropes, but is quickly improving. It doesn't matter who, it's fun skiing with either of them.
One thing that I love to do with Julia in particular is running. Laura, unfortunately, has back trouble and so can't join in the fun. Me and Julia, however, just ran a half marathon together in September, which was a blast. When you run, you really have nothing better to do then simply talk, and so you do, and get to know the person your running with even better. And there's almost no greater feeling then finishing a race together. As much as I can hate running sometimes, it's awesome when I'm with my sister. We won't be doing that much running in December, though...
One thing that we can do in December, however, is go sledding! I always kick myself at the end of the year when I've only gone sledding a few times. What's not to love? And again, sharing experiences like sledding with your sibs is awesome.
One of the more specific things I'm looking forward to when my sisters come home is movie-watching. Both the Hobbit and the Hunger Games movies are coming out soon (maybe they're already out. I don't know), and I plan to watch both with my sisters. A big tub of popcorn and a litre of pop... what's not to love?
And finally, as I feel I should say this, all of the other little things that make having a sibling awesome. Sneaking out to buy hot chocolate. Being able to talk so freely with one other, making jokes and making fun of one another teasingly all day. Singing random songs. Showing each other youtube videos. Saying what funny thing happened in your day. Just rejoicing in the awesomeness of having a sibling.
And so I'll give a message to a few people out there in the world. To newlyweds, have at least two kids. An only child will be forever lonely. And probably spoiled, as well. Your kids need siblings to stop the others from getting too big of heads. But don't have any more then three kids. Overpopulation, right?
To people with siblings; love them. They're awesome.
To people without siblings; get a cat or a dog. You need a companion.
And finally, to my sisters; you're awesome, and I love both you gals.
Thanks for reading,
-Mark
Monday, 24 November 2014
What I Would do if I Could Become Invisible II
Well, guys, I'm back! Sorry for the long wait, but I've had some health issues for the last week. Fortunately, I have my wonderful co-blogger to make up for my absence.
However, there is one tiny problem with my co-blogger being my brother; apparently, the two of us are telepathic to some extent. I was brainstorming a post to do this evening as I did the dishes, and the brilliant idea of what I could do while invisible popped into my mind. I didn't read Mark's yet, so I guess we'll see just how far our telepathy reaches...
Anyway, this is what I would do with the powers of invisibility:
1. I'm going to start with something horribly petty. I would love to eavesdrop, particularly when the conversation was about me. What do people really think of me? What do they say behind my back? The world is full of gossips, after all. I try to avoid doing it, but it happens. Who knows, after this little experiment, I may never want to be invisible or talk to anyone ever again. Still, it would be interesting to sate my curiosity...
2. I would do anonymous good deeds. Life is tough, and sometimes (or often) I think that people just need to be nicer. People also need to learn to accept help! Accepting help can be so humiliating, so wouldn't it be nice to have an invisible guardian angel? Someone who did little things like cleaned your dishes or corrected your homework. I would love to help people that way (as long as it didn't creep them out. That could be the tough part).
3. I would sneak into things like concerts or theatre performances for free. It's absolutely horrible of me to say that, I know. Studying the performing arts myself, I can appreciate just how lovely it is to have a visible audience and - yes - to actually get paid for my performances. But imagining that no one got hurt from this, wouldn't it be lovely to just go and see great performers at work? Or just be an invisible observer? I admit, I really enjoy people watching. That would be lovely.
4. I'd take a day to myself. I love the people in my life a lot, but I also love my alone time. I would love to just disappear for a day and take the day to read and write and paint and just have time alone with my thoughts.
5. I might do a little bit of providing "karma" as well. Intimidation in this case would be a plus. There are some people who are just so mean and horrible all the time. I could leave them anonymous notes from their "conscience" or something, telling them why they shouldn't do what they're doing. Maybe I could even talk to them with my disembodied voice and be their therapist. Sometimes I think that angry people just need a friend, and maybe if they thought they were losing their minds it would be easier for them to open up! Then, that would help them feel better.
6. I would sneak into grocery stores and steal all of the live lobsters and set them free in the ocean. I always feel so awful when I just see them stacked in those horrible tanks with their claws all trapped, just waiting to die. They seriously need someone to save them. I might also have to do the same with some farm animals, but lobsters first. It's just so sad. Buying a lobster and setting it free is definitely on my bucket list.
7. I would disappear whenever I felt self-conscious. I have to say, I feel this way a lot, even just walking down the street (am I walking strangely? What's my posture like?).When there was a moment that I just couldn't deal with, I could just disappear. If someone asked me an uncomfortable question in a group, or was looking for a "volunteer", I could just disappear for a moment. Or if I was embarrassed or crying, I could just disappear and no one would have to see. Great solution, right???
8. There would be days when I'd just go about my business in pajamas. Sure, I'm in class, but you don't have to see that I'm wearing bright red flannel bottoms with Santa on them or my kitty covered t-shirt. I could even skip doing anything with my hair or face (although I can't say I do much anyway. I am definitely guilty of slacking off in that regard). It would save me so much time and stress, and I could be so comfortable and delectably uncoordinated.
9. If I was in trouble, I could disappear until whoever was angry at me forgot about it. I could avoid confrontation forever (yes, I really hate arguing unless it's a friendly debate).
In short, I really, really want to learn this trick. Disappearing would be the best skill ever, especially if you're slightly introverted like me. Who knows? Maybe it would make you way more aware of your body too. I bet it would be strange to not be able to see where you're going... you'd have to be so specially aware. I bet once you got a body again, you would be sitting inside yourself so comfortably (sorry, I'm studying singing so I think about these things)!
Anyway, this may almost be my superpower of choice, with the exception of flight. Maybe that's a topic for another post...
-Laura
However, there is one tiny problem with my co-blogger being my brother; apparently, the two of us are telepathic to some extent. I was brainstorming a post to do this evening as I did the dishes, and the brilliant idea of what I could do while invisible popped into my mind. I didn't read Mark's yet, so I guess we'll see just how far our telepathy reaches...
Anyway, this is what I would do with the powers of invisibility:
1. I'm going to start with something horribly petty. I would love to eavesdrop, particularly when the conversation was about me. What do people really think of me? What do they say behind my back? The world is full of gossips, after all. I try to avoid doing it, but it happens. Who knows, after this little experiment, I may never want to be invisible or talk to anyone ever again. Still, it would be interesting to sate my curiosity...
2. I would do anonymous good deeds. Life is tough, and sometimes (or often) I think that people just need to be nicer. People also need to learn to accept help! Accepting help can be so humiliating, so wouldn't it be nice to have an invisible guardian angel? Someone who did little things like cleaned your dishes or corrected your homework. I would love to help people that way (as long as it didn't creep them out. That could be the tough part).
3. I would sneak into things like concerts or theatre performances for free. It's absolutely horrible of me to say that, I know. Studying the performing arts myself, I can appreciate just how lovely it is to have a visible audience and - yes - to actually get paid for my performances. But imagining that no one got hurt from this, wouldn't it be lovely to just go and see great performers at work? Or just be an invisible observer? I admit, I really enjoy people watching. That would be lovely.
4. I'd take a day to myself. I love the people in my life a lot, but I also love my alone time. I would love to just disappear for a day and take the day to read and write and paint and just have time alone with my thoughts.
5. I might do a little bit of providing "karma" as well. Intimidation in this case would be a plus. There are some people who are just so mean and horrible all the time. I could leave them anonymous notes from their "conscience" or something, telling them why they shouldn't do what they're doing. Maybe I could even talk to them with my disembodied voice and be their therapist. Sometimes I think that angry people just need a friend, and maybe if they thought they were losing their minds it would be easier for them to open up! Then, that would help them feel better.
6. I would sneak into grocery stores and steal all of the live lobsters and set them free in the ocean. I always feel so awful when I just see them stacked in those horrible tanks with their claws all trapped, just waiting to die. They seriously need someone to save them. I might also have to do the same with some farm animals, but lobsters first. It's just so sad. Buying a lobster and setting it free is definitely on my bucket list.
7. I would disappear whenever I felt self-conscious. I have to say, I feel this way a lot, even just walking down the street (am I walking strangely? What's my posture like?).When there was a moment that I just couldn't deal with, I could just disappear. If someone asked me an uncomfortable question in a group, or was looking for a "volunteer", I could just disappear for a moment. Or if I was embarrassed or crying, I could just disappear and no one would have to see. Great solution, right???
8. There would be days when I'd just go about my business in pajamas. Sure, I'm in class, but you don't have to see that I'm wearing bright red flannel bottoms with Santa on them or my kitty covered t-shirt. I could even skip doing anything with my hair or face (although I can't say I do much anyway. I am definitely guilty of slacking off in that regard). It would save me so much time and stress, and I could be so comfortable and delectably uncoordinated.
9. If I was in trouble, I could disappear until whoever was angry at me forgot about it. I could avoid confrontation forever (yes, I really hate arguing unless it's a friendly debate).
In short, I really, really want to learn this trick. Disappearing would be the best skill ever, especially if you're slightly introverted like me. Who knows? Maybe it would make you way more aware of your body too. I bet it would be strange to not be able to see where you're going... you'd have to be so specially aware. I bet once you got a body again, you would be sitting inside yourself so comfortably (sorry, I'm studying singing so I think about these things)!
Anyway, this may almost be my superpower of choice, with the exception of flight. Maybe that's a topic for another post...
-Laura
Sunday, 23 November 2014
What I Would do if I Was Trying to Write This Post Really Sneakily
Hey. Hey you, random internet surfer. Come over here. Quietly, now... we don't want anyone to hear us.
I just wanted to tell you... it's late. Very late. I'm not sure I'll be able to finish my NaNoWriMo word count goal and this post before the clock ticks past midnight, so... wish me luck.
The problem with all this is, my parents don't know I'm still up. I'm supposed to be asleep. So I'll have to do this super sneakily. Seeing as I'm out of ideas, I've decided to take you along on this journey with me. So here we go...
1. Let's start our journey. You are writing in bed. Imagine that every time you hit a key, the sound echoes through the darkness. Therefore, you have to hit every... key... very... lightly. You can't let sound get out, so you pray for...
2. The washing machine. If it's still running at this time of the night, then you have a perfect sound barrier. Unfortunately... it just turned off. The radiator is off, as well.
3. You are trying to half lie down in bed as you write while still keeping your head propped up. This way, if someone does walk in on you, you can slam shut the laptop and pretend to be asleep.
4. The laptop light level is already turned to the lowest setting, by the way. Which is still painfully bright.
5. To save on time and sound, you cut editing down. Sorry. Also,
5. You cut the post short. The less sound the better, guys. Next time it'll be better, I promise!
Thanks for reading and goodnight,
-Mark
I just wanted to tell you... it's late. Very late. I'm not sure I'll be able to finish my NaNoWriMo word count goal and this post before the clock ticks past midnight, so... wish me luck.
The problem with all this is, my parents don't know I'm still up. I'm supposed to be asleep. So I'll have to do this super sneakily. Seeing as I'm out of ideas, I've decided to take you along on this journey with me. So here we go...
1. Let's start our journey. You are writing in bed. Imagine that every time you hit a key, the sound echoes through the darkness. Therefore, you have to hit every... key... very... lightly. You can't let sound get out, so you pray for...
2. The washing machine. If it's still running at this time of the night, then you have a perfect sound barrier. Unfortunately... it just turned off. The radiator is off, as well.
3. You are trying to half lie down in bed as you write while still keeping your head propped up. This way, if someone does walk in on you, you can slam shut the laptop and pretend to be asleep.
4. The laptop light level is already turned to the lowest setting, by the way. Which is still painfully bright.
5. To save on time and sound, you cut editing down. Sorry. Also,
5. You cut the post short. The less sound the better, guys. Next time it'll be better, I promise!
Thanks for reading and goodnight,
-Mark
Saturday, 22 November 2014
What I Would Invent if I Became an Inventor
If I was ever to become an inventor, the world would become a better place.
Oh, you don't believe me? Well then, read on, disbeliever, and learn the truth. Could you have thought of these wonderful ideas?
1. The rubber car. I think I've mentioned this one before, and Laura unwisely criticized it. Nevertheless, I know it's a wonderful idea, and I'll repeat it here. Basically, if you covered the outsides of cars (excluding the windshields and tops, of course) with a few inches of rubber, then wouldn't cars become basically giant bumper cars? You could crash all you wanted, and you'd sustain no damage to your car! How great would that be?
2. The driving phone booth. Came up with this one... about ten seconds ago. Basically, in a futuristic world, roads should be replaced with little rails that these driving "phone booths" can zip around on, like train tracks. Basically, you get into a little box (hence the name "phone booth") that you can sit in, enter in the place you want to go, and the contraption will then zip you along the train tracks to your location. You don't have to drive, and all the "phone booths" know where the others are and are headed, and so can program a path to your destination that is completely safe and timed so that you won't crash into other booths. It's genius.
3. The anti-watered-down drink. This one I'm especially proud of. You know how you go to get a soft drink, but they fill it halfway to the top with ice so that it becomes watered down after a few minutes? Well, this contraption fixes that problem.
Okay, this one will take some visualization. I hope your inferior minds can handle this. Okay, I want you to imagine a cup. Got that? Good. Now, imagine another, quite large cup, surrounding the first cup. I want you to imagine that there are spaces between these two cups. Okay, great. Now just imagine that all the sides of the first cup are held an equal distance away from the sides of the second cup by little rods. The rods aren't important, don't let then confuse you.
Now, if this cup was real, then you could fill in the space between the two cups with water, and then freeze it to make ice. That way, you'd have a sheet of ice surrounding your first cup, making it nice and cool. Now all you need to do is pour a drink inside the first cup. Voila! It's cooled by the ice surrounding it, but the cup's walls are preventing the melting ice from watering down the drink. It's perfect!
Perhaps you could ben add a rubber attachment that slipped over the gap between the two cups once it had been filled with water, so that when you were drinking your other drink no water escaped. Okay, now it's perfect.
And I'm afraid that I can only patent so many ideas at once, and so I'll only tell you those three of my wonderful inventions today. There will be more in the future, dear readers. My inventions will make this world a better place.
Thanks for reading,
-Mark
Oh, you don't believe me? Well then, read on, disbeliever, and learn the truth. Could you have thought of these wonderful ideas?
1. The rubber car. I think I've mentioned this one before, and Laura unwisely criticized it. Nevertheless, I know it's a wonderful idea, and I'll repeat it here. Basically, if you covered the outsides of cars (excluding the windshields and tops, of course) with a few inches of rubber, then wouldn't cars become basically giant bumper cars? You could crash all you wanted, and you'd sustain no damage to your car! How great would that be?
2. The driving phone booth. Came up with this one... about ten seconds ago. Basically, in a futuristic world, roads should be replaced with little rails that these driving "phone booths" can zip around on, like train tracks. Basically, you get into a little box (hence the name "phone booth") that you can sit in, enter in the place you want to go, and the contraption will then zip you along the train tracks to your location. You don't have to drive, and all the "phone booths" know where the others are and are headed, and so can program a path to your destination that is completely safe and timed so that you won't crash into other booths. It's genius.
3. The anti-watered-down drink. This one I'm especially proud of. You know how you go to get a soft drink, but they fill it halfway to the top with ice so that it becomes watered down after a few minutes? Well, this contraption fixes that problem.
Okay, this one will take some visualization. I hope your inferior minds can handle this. Okay, I want you to imagine a cup. Got that? Good. Now, imagine another, quite large cup, surrounding the first cup. I want you to imagine that there are spaces between these two cups. Okay, great. Now just imagine that all the sides of the first cup are held an equal distance away from the sides of the second cup by little rods. The rods aren't important, don't let then confuse you.
Now, if this cup was real, then you could fill in the space between the two cups with water, and then freeze it to make ice. That way, you'd have a sheet of ice surrounding your first cup, making it nice and cool. Now all you need to do is pour a drink inside the first cup. Voila! It's cooled by the ice surrounding it, but the cup's walls are preventing the melting ice from watering down the drink. It's perfect!
Perhaps you could ben add a rubber attachment that slipped over the gap between the two cups once it had been filled with water, so that when you were drinking your other drink no water escaped. Okay, now it's perfect.
And I'm afraid that I can only patent so many ideas at once, and so I'll only tell you those three of my wonderful inventions today. There will be more in the future, dear readers. My inventions will make this world a better place.
Thanks for reading,
-Mark
Friday, 21 November 2014
What I Would do if I Could Turn Invisible
Super-strength is overrated.
What can you do if your incredibly strong? You can flex. You can carry stuff around for people. If someone's dumb enough to let you grab them, then you can punch them to Timbuktu. If you're really lucky, you'll get a disney animated movie made for you.
But hey, I just want to say that super strength, despite it's benefits, won't help you go the distance- at least, not as much as something like... invisibility!
Seriously, invisibility is the ultimate superpower. That's just the gospel truth. And let me tell you why...
1. You're practically invincible. How can you kill a superhero that you can't even see? It's near impossible. You could just sneak right on into the enemy camp, save the world, knock out a half dozen bad guys and not even be detected.
2. You could get out of really embarrassing situations super easily.
3. Now, I won't say that I'm in love with this idea, but I heard this idea in A Very Potter Musical, so it's not technically mine. But basically, in the musical, Ginny hears about Harry's invisibility cloak and says that if she had one, she'd fake her death and watch people crying at her funeral!
4. You're 'cool' rating would blast through the roof. You'd go from zero to hero, just like that! How awesome would that be?
5. No more shopping lines for you. You could just sneak to the front of every line, wait till nobody was looking, and then turn your invisibility off. Seeing as no one saw you walk up and butt in front, no one can send you to the back of the line!
6. You can join the... what's it called? The superhero club? The league of superheros? The super league of america? The american justice league of heroes? Whatever that thing's called, now you can join it and chill with Batman.
If someone was born who could turn invisible at will, then it would be a star being born.
Of course, maybe someone already has the power to turn invisible. Maybe they're just hiding in plain site. Maybe they're... right behind you...
Thanks for reading,
-Mark
What can you do if your incredibly strong? You can flex. You can carry stuff around for people. If someone's dumb enough to let you grab them, then you can punch them to Timbuktu. If you're really lucky, you'll get a disney animated movie made for you.
But hey, I just want to say that super strength, despite it's benefits, won't help you go the distance- at least, not as much as something like... invisibility!
Seriously, invisibility is the ultimate superpower. That's just the gospel truth. And let me tell you why...
1. You're practically invincible. How can you kill a superhero that you can't even see? It's near impossible. You could just sneak right on into the enemy camp, save the world, knock out a half dozen bad guys and not even be detected.
2. You could get out of really embarrassing situations super easily.
3. Now, I won't say that I'm in love with this idea, but I heard this idea in A Very Potter Musical, so it's not technically mine. But basically, in the musical, Ginny hears about Harry's invisibility cloak and says that if she had one, she'd fake her death and watch people crying at her funeral!
4. You're 'cool' rating would blast through the roof. You'd go from zero to hero, just like that! How awesome would that be?
5. No more shopping lines for you. You could just sneak to the front of every line, wait till nobody was looking, and then turn your invisibility off. Seeing as no one saw you walk up and butt in front, no one can send you to the back of the line!
6. You can join the... what's it called? The superhero club? The league of superheros? The super league of america? The american justice league of heroes? Whatever that thing's called, now you can join it and chill with Batman.
If someone was born who could turn invisible at will, then it would be a star being born.
Of course, maybe someone already has the power to turn invisible. Maybe they're just hiding in plain site. Maybe they're... right behind you...
Thanks for reading,
-Mark
Thursday, 20 November 2014
What I WILL do Later in Life According to a Random Test
Quick Side note; Laura couldn't blog today, but seeing as she made up for when I couldn't blog I'm doing the same for her. You guys get to hear me ramble for three days in a row! Arn't you excited?
You know those tests that predict your future?
Well, I decided that, as a topic for this post, I'd make my own and share it with all of you.
Basically, I created a list of possible options for things I could do later in life. For example:
Job
Writer
Fisher
Farmer
Banker
Astronaut
Clown
Then I took a die (plural: dice). Let's say I rolled a four. Then I would go to the forth option on the list and gross it out. Okay, I'm not a banker. Then say, I roll a two; I count two from where banker was and cross out clown. Phew, I'm not a clown. And then repeat.
I did this for a couple different subjects, and I've got my answers here for you now.
Job: Astronaut. Okay! That is a lot better then clown. It's one of my dream jobs, anyway. Space, here I come!
Income: 100 000 000 dollars per year. Whoa. I picked the highest one I possibly could have! And to think I could have made one, or ten, dollars a year...
The only thing is, I don't think that any of the jobs on my list can actually make that much. Oh, well. I'll take it.
Home: Apartment. Darn it, I so wanted the mansion. Somehow, with my 100 000 000 dollar salary, I still got stuck with an apartment. It must be a pretty darn nice one, though, for that kind of cash.
Home location: Iceberg. Really? I take back what I said about the apartment being nice, if it's floating on an iceberg. That might be cool (ba-dum CRASH!) for a day or two, but after that, I dunno. I must be really, really generous with those 100 000 000 bucks.
Children: Two. Thats pretty good, as I want two or three. Unfortunately for them, there father's always in space and they live on an iceberg.
Age I meet my wife: 40-60. No! I wanted it to land on "childhood sweetheart," in other words, my grade two girlfriend. Thats the second fortune telling thing that's said we won't be together...
Also, this seems to say that I'm probably not going to have any kids until my forties or fifties. I'll be retiring from my hugely successful astronaut career when the oldest has only just turned ten to fifteen!
So there we have my extremely likely future. Darn it. I get stuck on an iceberg, don't marry my childhood sweetheart, and don't become a writer. I can't even seem to use my money properly!
Oh, well. Thats all for today, folks. I'll see you tomorrow!
Thanks for reading,
-Mark
You know those tests that predict your future?
Well, I decided that, as a topic for this post, I'd make my own and share it with all of you.
Basically, I created a list of possible options for things I could do later in life. For example:
Job
Writer
Fisher
Farmer
Banker
Astronaut
Clown
Then I took a die (plural: dice). Let's say I rolled a four. Then I would go to the forth option on the list and gross it out. Okay, I'm not a banker. Then say, I roll a two; I count two from where banker was and cross out clown. Phew, I'm not a clown. And then repeat.
I did this for a couple different subjects, and I've got my answers here for you now.
Job: Astronaut. Okay! That is a lot better then clown. It's one of my dream jobs, anyway. Space, here I come!
Income: 100 000 000 dollars per year. Whoa. I picked the highest one I possibly could have! And to think I could have made one, or ten, dollars a year...
The only thing is, I don't think that any of the jobs on my list can actually make that much. Oh, well. I'll take it.
Home: Apartment. Darn it, I so wanted the mansion. Somehow, with my 100 000 000 dollar salary, I still got stuck with an apartment. It must be a pretty darn nice one, though, for that kind of cash.
Home location: Iceberg. Really? I take back what I said about the apartment being nice, if it's floating on an iceberg. That might be cool (ba-dum CRASH!) for a day or two, but after that, I dunno. I must be really, really generous with those 100 000 000 bucks.
Children: Two. Thats pretty good, as I want two or three. Unfortunately for them, there father's always in space and they live on an iceberg.
Age I meet my wife: 40-60. No! I wanted it to land on "childhood sweetheart," in other words, my grade two girlfriend. Thats the second fortune telling thing that's said we won't be together...
Also, this seems to say that I'm probably not going to have any kids until my forties or fifties. I'll be retiring from my hugely successful astronaut career when the oldest has only just turned ten to fifteen!
So there we have my extremely likely future. Darn it. I get stuck on an iceberg, don't marry my childhood sweetheart, and don't become a writer. I can't even seem to use my money properly!
Oh, well. Thats all for today, folks. I'll see you tomorrow!
Thanks for reading,
-Mark
Wednesday, 19 November 2014
What I Would do as a Job (Top 10) (Part II)
Hey Sis,
I was reading your post on your dream jobs, decided I liked the idea better then mine for today, and am now stealing it. As for our loyal viewers (at the moment that's just me and you, but soon, it'll be the world...), I hope it's cool with you that you're reading about jobs two days in a row. If it's not, then... I'll need something else to entertain you. Go watch an inspirational speech by Neil Gaiman (He's the dude that wrote Coraline, by the way).
Okay, now for those of you that are still here, my top ten jobs. I'm afraid some of these overlap with Laura's, but oh well. Great minds think alike.
1. Writing! I have mentioned that I love writing in roughly 90% of my posts so far, and so if you've read any of my blog posts, you should already know this. I'm just putting that out their again.
2. Astronaut. How cool would it be to experience zero gravity? Way cool, says I. Also, how cool would it be to step foot on the moon and/or another planet? Super-duper cool. Everything about this job would be awesome. The only problem is, I heard that you have to train as a military pilot to get the job, which I don't really want to do, and I also hate the sciences. So unfortunately, it seems that I won't ever become an astronaut.
3. Professional football player. And I mean football when I say football, not American football. I promise you, I was born and raised in Canada, but I just think that if football was the original name for soccer, then we should stick with it. Also, it makes a lot more sense then soccer for a game where you use your foot to kick a ball.
The problem with football for a career, though, is the pressure. I don't know if I could take it...
4. Actor. I've acted in my school's play for the past couple of years, and it was quite possibly the funnest thing I have ever participated in. Seriously, if you want to have the time of your life, join your school's play. If, you know, your school puts on a play, or if you're even in school.
5. Musician. When it comes to musical instruments and songwriting, I'm completely useless (except for the ukelele. But that's a story for another time). And so I don't think I'll ever become a musician, but I've got to agree with Laura on this one. Music is awesome.
6. National Geographic worker. Because you get to travel and write, duh!
7. Dalai Lama's servant. I don't even know if the Dalai Lama has a servant, and I'm guessing he doesn't what with him being so humble and the like. Even if he did, I doubt I'd be getting the job, because I'm not even Buddhist. But still, I watched a video where this guy was speaking, and he just seemed like the most awesome dude ever. I tend to think of the heads of religion as crotchety, serious old people, but the Dalai Lama, at least in the video I saw of him, was laughing and joking around, and generally seemed to me like a very thin Santa Claus in Buddhist clothing. He's also an environmentalist, a feminist, a speaker for tolerance for gay people and different religions, a vegetarian (I myself eat meat, but I can't help but respect those who don't), a voice for world peace... he's just an awesome guy.
8. A photographer. 'Cause beautiful pictures are beautiful.
9. A doctor. Because you're helping to save/extend/improve peoples lives!
10. A cook. I'm actually a very picky eater, but when food is done right, it can be wonderful.
There are other's on the list, of course. Youtuber. Professional storyteller. Busker. Out of all of these, though, writer would still have to be my top pick. Look for my name in the neon lights in a few years, world...
Thanks for reading,
-Mark
I was reading your post on your dream jobs, decided I liked the idea better then mine for today, and am now stealing it. As for our loyal viewers (at the moment that's just me and you, but soon, it'll be the world...), I hope it's cool with you that you're reading about jobs two days in a row. If it's not, then... I'll need something else to entertain you. Go watch an inspirational speech by Neil Gaiman (He's the dude that wrote Coraline, by the way).
Okay, now for those of you that are still here, my top ten jobs. I'm afraid some of these overlap with Laura's, but oh well. Great minds think alike.
1. Writing! I have mentioned that I love writing in roughly 90% of my posts so far, and so if you've read any of my blog posts, you should already know this. I'm just putting that out their again.
2. Astronaut. How cool would it be to experience zero gravity? Way cool, says I. Also, how cool would it be to step foot on the moon and/or another planet? Super-duper cool. Everything about this job would be awesome. The only problem is, I heard that you have to train as a military pilot to get the job, which I don't really want to do, and I also hate the sciences. So unfortunately, it seems that I won't ever become an astronaut.
3. Professional football player. And I mean football when I say football, not American football. I promise you, I was born and raised in Canada, but I just think that if football was the original name for soccer, then we should stick with it. Also, it makes a lot more sense then soccer for a game where you use your foot to kick a ball.
The problem with football for a career, though, is the pressure. I don't know if I could take it...
4. Actor. I've acted in my school's play for the past couple of years, and it was quite possibly the funnest thing I have ever participated in. Seriously, if you want to have the time of your life, join your school's play. If, you know, your school puts on a play, or if you're even in school.
5. Musician. When it comes to musical instruments and songwriting, I'm completely useless (except for the ukelele. But that's a story for another time). And so I don't think I'll ever become a musician, but I've got to agree with Laura on this one. Music is awesome.
6. National Geographic worker. Because you get to travel and write, duh!
7. Dalai Lama's servant. I don't even know if the Dalai Lama has a servant, and I'm guessing he doesn't what with him being so humble and the like. Even if he did, I doubt I'd be getting the job, because I'm not even Buddhist. But still, I watched a video where this guy was speaking, and he just seemed like the most awesome dude ever. I tend to think of the heads of religion as crotchety, serious old people, but the Dalai Lama, at least in the video I saw of him, was laughing and joking around, and generally seemed to me like a very thin Santa Claus in Buddhist clothing. He's also an environmentalist, a feminist, a speaker for tolerance for gay people and different religions, a vegetarian (I myself eat meat, but I can't help but respect those who don't), a voice for world peace... he's just an awesome guy.
8. A photographer. 'Cause beautiful pictures are beautiful.
9. A doctor. Because you're helping to save/extend/improve peoples lives!
10. A cook. I'm actually a very picky eater, but when food is done right, it can be wonderful.
There are other's on the list, of course. Youtuber. Professional storyteller. Busker. Out of all of these, though, writer would still have to be my top pick. Look for my name in the neon lights in a few years, world...
Thanks for reading,
-Mark
Tuesday, 18 November 2014
What I Would do as a Job (Top 10)
I suppose that this was also an inevitable post from a university student.
Alright, so, imagine this. There are no qualifications that you need beforehand for this. Your wage is comfortable regardless of the job. You're guaranteed whatever job you desire! Here are my top 10 (in no particular order):
1. Whatever the heck people like Jane Goodall or the person who works with Koko the gorilla does. Fun fact about me: as a child, I was obsessed with Tarzan and wanted to live with monkeys. The dream lives on. No science, please, unless it's just writing what I observe and drawing conclusions to publish. No, I just want to live with monkeys. We can be best friends, and I can draw them and film them and communicate with them using sign language (actually, this job may have one prerequisite... maybe I can learn on the job). Yes, I really want to know what their job is and how they were lucky enough to get it.
2. Writing. I guess this one is pretty obvious from the fact that I keep a blog. How fun would it be to make things up, write them down, and get paid to do it? Fiction, poetry, blogposts... they're all so much fun. I love to daydream, and creating something from that is the best thing in the world.
3. Singing. I think I'm kind of obligated to put this one down since I'm studying this, but I still have a massive respect for music. How is it that a few sounds in the right combination can make you live such profound emotions and make your imagination run wild? It's pretty amazing, right? I want to make people feel things. I want to make them escape their lives and feel good for just a moment, or to feel empathy for other people, or to feel an emotional catharsis, or to inspire them. What a gift that would be! Now, doing it is the difficult part... somehow I doubt that I'm going to end up in a huge opera house, but I never want to stop sharing music with people. Music is such a gift.
4. Teaching. Teachers - or, should I say, good teachers - are such a blessing to the world. They inspire children and help shape them into the adults that they're going to be. Teachers have such immense power and responsibility when it comes to their pupils. Beyond that, though, teachers are people who have the ability to really help and reach other people. They can teach empathy, a love of learning, or acceptance. If a student is struggling and they reach out to him or her, a teacher can literally save a life. I am so grateful for some of the teachers I have had in my life who supported me and motivated me to achieve. Wouldn't it be wonderful to do that yourself? I would love to teach elementary children, I think.
5. Counselling/social work/working for a charity. Fun fact: I really, really want to help people. I hate it when people are sad. When my friend broke her toe I cried more than she did. As someone who suffers from severe depression myself, I find nothing as wonderful as making other peoples' lives better. Life is difficult. Anyone who tells you otherwise is blissfully deluded, so don't correct them. I'm almost a bit jealous of them, to be honest. Anyway, point being that I would feel so privileged to be able to make a difference in peoples' lives everyday.
6. Working for National Geographic. Okay, this is cheating because, yes, it does connect to writing. But, come on, who wouldn't want to travel the world for their job and see such amazing things? I once saw a video about some people who worked for National Geographic or Blue Planet or something similar. There was a man who lived in a cave in the Himalayas for about ten years to get footage of a rare snow leopard (forgive me if my facts are wrong, but it was something like that). As someone who often dreams of living alone in a cave with a piano and my cat, this sounds like paradise. Nature is so beautiful. It is so hard to feel depressed when you're out in nature, because you suddenly realize that you're so unimportant in the grand scheme of things. Mountains still stand beautifully, animals are born, plants grow, rivers run... and what you do doesn't matter as much as you think. And, for a moment, you can pretend that you're away from the stress of life and nothing matters. You can think, and I am personally so inspired to just create and make a mark on this beautiful world to capture it's beauty.
7. An organizer of sorts. I love organizing things. Lists, lists, lists. Making sure everything has its place. Maybe I could be an interior decorator. Or an event planner. Or a cleaning lady, but who doesn't actually clean. I just want to organize. Is this an actual job? I would love it! Oh, maybe I could work from home for an office (an INTERESTING office, like a publishing office) and sort through every file and put it in various folders, and AH!
8. Police officer. Okay, when I say police officer, I mean the police officers who do things like set speed traps or put on sirens to go to Tim Hortons or who save kittens from trees. I would never, ever, ever be able to hurt someone or even arrest them (probably) because I would just feel so bad for them. Or give them a ticket, unless they were a HUGE douchebag. Point being, I just secretly want to be the police officer who nabs her coworkers for speeding or using sirens to get a coffee. Then everyone would really, really hate me, though. Don't get me wrong, I have massive respect for the police. They keep us safe and put their lives on the line for us. That's amazing. But there are some of them who just need to obey the laws a bit better, you know? So maybe I'd be an officer for a week and give all the nice ones cookies and all the law-breaking ones a stern talking-to.
9. A stage manager: as I said, I love organizing. It would kind of be nice to be out of the spotlight and just help people have an easier time, you know? Acting and directing also appeal. Acting is amazing... you get to become someone else! I didn't put that separately, though, because I thought it was similar to singing in that regard.
10. Work at a national park, particularly a beautiful mountainous one or one with an awesome history.
This got a little bit long (oops). I guess it's easy to get carried away. I'm sure this list will change as I discover new things, and I definitely left out some cool things (um... historian? Archeologist (minus the science)? Musicologist? Dramaturge?). Anyway, thanks for reading!
-Laura
Alright, so, imagine this. There are no qualifications that you need beforehand for this. Your wage is comfortable regardless of the job. You're guaranteed whatever job you desire! Here are my top 10 (in no particular order):
1. Whatever the heck people like Jane Goodall or the person who works with Koko the gorilla does. Fun fact about me: as a child, I was obsessed with Tarzan and wanted to live with monkeys. The dream lives on. No science, please, unless it's just writing what I observe and drawing conclusions to publish. No, I just want to live with monkeys. We can be best friends, and I can draw them and film them and communicate with them using sign language (actually, this job may have one prerequisite... maybe I can learn on the job). Yes, I really want to know what their job is and how they were lucky enough to get it.
2. Writing. I guess this one is pretty obvious from the fact that I keep a blog. How fun would it be to make things up, write them down, and get paid to do it? Fiction, poetry, blogposts... they're all so much fun. I love to daydream, and creating something from that is the best thing in the world.
3. Singing. I think I'm kind of obligated to put this one down since I'm studying this, but I still have a massive respect for music. How is it that a few sounds in the right combination can make you live such profound emotions and make your imagination run wild? It's pretty amazing, right? I want to make people feel things. I want to make them escape their lives and feel good for just a moment, or to feel empathy for other people, or to feel an emotional catharsis, or to inspire them. What a gift that would be! Now, doing it is the difficult part... somehow I doubt that I'm going to end up in a huge opera house, but I never want to stop sharing music with people. Music is such a gift.
4. Teaching. Teachers - or, should I say, good teachers - are such a blessing to the world. They inspire children and help shape them into the adults that they're going to be. Teachers have such immense power and responsibility when it comes to their pupils. Beyond that, though, teachers are people who have the ability to really help and reach other people. They can teach empathy, a love of learning, or acceptance. If a student is struggling and they reach out to him or her, a teacher can literally save a life. I am so grateful for some of the teachers I have had in my life who supported me and motivated me to achieve. Wouldn't it be wonderful to do that yourself? I would love to teach elementary children, I think.
5. Counselling/social work/working for a charity. Fun fact: I really, really want to help people. I hate it when people are sad. When my friend broke her toe I cried more than she did. As someone who suffers from severe depression myself, I find nothing as wonderful as making other peoples' lives better. Life is difficult. Anyone who tells you otherwise is blissfully deluded, so don't correct them. I'm almost a bit jealous of them, to be honest. Anyway, point being that I would feel so privileged to be able to make a difference in peoples' lives everyday.
6. Working for National Geographic. Okay, this is cheating because, yes, it does connect to writing. But, come on, who wouldn't want to travel the world for their job and see such amazing things? I once saw a video about some people who worked for National Geographic or Blue Planet or something similar. There was a man who lived in a cave in the Himalayas for about ten years to get footage of a rare snow leopard (forgive me if my facts are wrong, but it was something like that). As someone who often dreams of living alone in a cave with a piano and my cat, this sounds like paradise. Nature is so beautiful. It is so hard to feel depressed when you're out in nature, because you suddenly realize that you're so unimportant in the grand scheme of things. Mountains still stand beautifully, animals are born, plants grow, rivers run... and what you do doesn't matter as much as you think. And, for a moment, you can pretend that you're away from the stress of life and nothing matters. You can think, and I am personally so inspired to just create and make a mark on this beautiful world to capture it's beauty.
7. An organizer of sorts. I love organizing things. Lists, lists, lists. Making sure everything has its place. Maybe I could be an interior decorator. Or an event planner. Or a cleaning lady, but who doesn't actually clean. I just want to organize. Is this an actual job? I would love it! Oh, maybe I could work from home for an office (an INTERESTING office, like a publishing office) and sort through every file and put it in various folders, and AH!
8. Police officer. Okay, when I say police officer, I mean the police officers who do things like set speed traps or put on sirens to go to Tim Hortons or who save kittens from trees. I would never, ever, ever be able to hurt someone or even arrest them (probably) because I would just feel so bad for them. Or give them a ticket, unless they were a HUGE douchebag. Point being, I just secretly want to be the police officer who nabs her coworkers for speeding or using sirens to get a coffee. Then everyone would really, really hate me, though. Don't get me wrong, I have massive respect for the police. They keep us safe and put their lives on the line for us. That's amazing. But there are some of them who just need to obey the laws a bit better, you know? So maybe I'd be an officer for a week and give all the nice ones cookies and all the law-breaking ones a stern talking-to.
9. A stage manager: as I said, I love organizing. It would kind of be nice to be out of the spotlight and just help people have an easier time, you know? Acting and directing also appeal. Acting is amazing... you get to become someone else! I didn't put that separately, though, because I thought it was similar to singing in that regard.
10. Work at a national park, particularly a beautiful mountainous one or one with an awesome history.
This got a little bit long (oops). I guess it's easy to get carried away. I'm sure this list will change as I discover new things, and I definitely left out some cool things (um... historian? Archeologist (minus the science)? Musicologist? Dramaturge?). Anyway, thanks for reading!
-Laura
Monday, 17 November 2014
What I Would do to Stop Global Warming
I'm sorry! What with me being in Chicago, I rather lost track of time and completely missed my day for blogging. Today's post, then, will just have to be doubly good to make up for the missed day. No, that's impossible, but anyways... let's just get to the post.
Global warming is scary.
I don't want to die, but apparently if the world's temperature increases by just 6 more degrees (I think that's 6 degrees Fahrenheit. Crazy Americans, using your own personal temperature scale and confusing the heck out of the rest of the world... No, just kidding. I love you guys (most of the time)), then basically the temperature change will be irreversible and it'll all go to the dogs. And even now huge swathes of land are being taken up by the desert, and the sea level is rising, and oy oy oy, is this ever depressing. I feel like I should say something cheerier now. Okay, how about a cheesy joke?
"I used to want to be a banker," say's one guy to another, "but then I lost interest. That career plan didn't make any cents!"
Or... "What's stone's favourite kind of music? Rock and roll!"
Okay, now that you're all rolling on the floor laughing at how lame those jokes were, let's get down to business. Global warming sucks, but I have some ideas on how to combat it. And so, let's get to it.
1. I'd create "international walking day" in which every car in the world would be banned for one day every week. This, of course, excludes police cars and ambulances, although these wouldn't be needed as much on this day as there will be no car accidents to deal with.
2. I would make it illegal to have any lightbulbs except the ultra fuel-efficient ones up for sale in stores.
3. I'd make some home modifications to every house in the world, funded by the government. Specifically, I'd install a couple solar panels on the roofs of every house and install lighting stems that automatically switched on when you came into the room and switched off when you went out.
4. I'd invest in green projects. I heard in school a while back that in some american place or other they were making a road out of solar panels. The theory was, this would collect energy and divert it into people's homes. People would then use the energy supplied to their houses to charge up their electricity powered cars. By the way, did you know that in places like Alberta, where coal is burned to produce electricity, electric cars aren't actually much more fuel efficient then gas powered cars?
5. I'd make earth day an international holiday.
6. Car's would have solar panels in their roofs, and be significantly lighter then they are today so as to be more efficient. On a side note, have you ever wondered why people don't cover cars with a big rubber strip? That way, if you got into a car crash, you'd just bounce away like bumper cars.
7. On another side note, have any of you heard of eco terrorism? This is where environmentalist groups go a little overboard and basically use terrorism to stop the degradation and destruction of the environment. I heard some news story on this years back when one eco terrorist group attacked some ski resort and tried to blow it to smithereens. Ouch. No, I am NOT saying that we should do this to stop global warming, FBI man who found the keyword terrorism in this blog post. Just chill, man.
And that's it! Now, I've got a fair amount to do tonight, folks, so I'll just skedaddle as quick as I can. Thanks for reading, and I'll see you in a few days. Bye!
-Mark
Global warming is scary.
I don't want to die, but apparently if the world's temperature increases by just 6 more degrees (I think that's 6 degrees Fahrenheit. Crazy Americans, using your own personal temperature scale and confusing the heck out of the rest of the world... No, just kidding. I love you guys (most of the time)), then basically the temperature change will be irreversible and it'll all go to the dogs. And even now huge swathes of land are being taken up by the desert, and the sea level is rising, and oy oy oy, is this ever depressing. I feel like I should say something cheerier now. Okay, how about a cheesy joke?
"I used to want to be a banker," say's one guy to another, "but then I lost interest. That career plan didn't make any cents!"
Or... "What's stone's favourite kind of music? Rock and roll!"
Okay, now that you're all rolling on the floor laughing at how lame those jokes were, let's get down to business. Global warming sucks, but I have some ideas on how to combat it. And so, let's get to it.
1. I'd create "international walking day" in which every car in the world would be banned for one day every week. This, of course, excludes police cars and ambulances, although these wouldn't be needed as much on this day as there will be no car accidents to deal with.
2. I would make it illegal to have any lightbulbs except the ultra fuel-efficient ones up for sale in stores.
3. I'd make some home modifications to every house in the world, funded by the government. Specifically, I'd install a couple solar panels on the roofs of every house and install lighting stems that automatically switched on when you came into the room and switched off when you went out.
4. I'd invest in green projects. I heard in school a while back that in some american place or other they were making a road out of solar panels. The theory was, this would collect energy and divert it into people's homes. People would then use the energy supplied to their houses to charge up their electricity powered cars. By the way, did you know that in places like Alberta, where coal is burned to produce electricity, electric cars aren't actually much more fuel efficient then gas powered cars?
5. I'd make earth day an international holiday.
6. Car's would have solar panels in their roofs, and be significantly lighter then they are today so as to be more efficient. On a side note, have you ever wondered why people don't cover cars with a big rubber strip? That way, if you got into a car crash, you'd just bounce away like bumper cars.
7. On another side note, have any of you heard of eco terrorism? This is where environmentalist groups go a little overboard and basically use terrorism to stop the degradation and destruction of the environment. I heard some news story on this years back when one eco terrorist group attacked some ski resort and tried to blow it to smithereens. Ouch. No, I am NOT saying that we should do this to stop global warming, FBI man who found the keyword terrorism in this blog post. Just chill, man.
And that's it! Now, I've got a fair amount to do tonight, folks, so I'll just skedaddle as quick as I can. Thanks for reading, and I'll see you in a few days. Bye!
-Mark
Sunday, 16 November 2014
What I Would do for Students if I was Prime Minister
It was inevitable that I would eventually have some sort of political post. Now, keep in mind that A) this is all idealistic B) I'm imagining that I actually have money to spend and C) the people who had limits over my power would actually approve my brilliant laws.
A) Tuition is free. This is the obvious one. I feel so guilty trying to figure out what I want to do with my life when I'm throwing however many thousands of dollars down the drain due to indecisiveness.
B) Every student is guaranteed a dishwasher. Washing dishes becomes the bane of my existence when school gets this crazy.
C) Every student gets discounts on airfares. I suppose that not every student goes to school away from home, but who doesn't want an excuse to travel? University is supposed to be our time of development, and doesn't development really come with an expanded worldview? Yes, please, in addition to airfares, pay me to travel.
D) Provide more student jobs over the summer. Paying for all of this isn't easy... just saying.
E) Place a limit on the amount of homework we're given. Please. I'd like be able to sleep and be a regular human being.
F) Monitor student treatment. Some profs are just so rude and condescending. Seriously, people need to decide whether they will treat as adult equals or as trash. Personally, I like the first option.
G) Coffee shop discounts! Also discounts on groceries? Pretty please?
H) Free internet (I'd ask for free laptops too... but that may be a little much).
I could really go on forever, but these seem like some major thing that would make the life of students much easier. It's time for leaders to invest in their students. How can they argue that we're "the future" and put so much responsibility on us when they aren't willing to help us out? University is so expensive and it's hard work. Also, it's easy to argue that university shuts out a certain group of people who simply don't have the money to get an education, which pretty much digs them into a hole that they can't get out of (or lands them in enormous debt). Seriously, if you want a good future, invest in it.
-Laura
A) Tuition is free. This is the obvious one. I feel so guilty trying to figure out what I want to do with my life when I'm throwing however many thousands of dollars down the drain due to indecisiveness.
B) Every student is guaranteed a dishwasher. Washing dishes becomes the bane of my existence when school gets this crazy.
C) Every student gets discounts on airfares. I suppose that not every student goes to school away from home, but who doesn't want an excuse to travel? University is supposed to be our time of development, and doesn't development really come with an expanded worldview? Yes, please, in addition to airfares, pay me to travel.
D) Provide more student jobs over the summer. Paying for all of this isn't easy... just saying.
E) Place a limit on the amount of homework we're given. Please. I'd like be able to sleep and be a regular human being.
F) Monitor student treatment. Some profs are just so rude and condescending. Seriously, people need to decide whether they will treat as adult equals or as trash. Personally, I like the first option.
G) Coffee shop discounts! Also discounts on groceries? Pretty please?
H) Free internet (I'd ask for free laptops too... but that may be a little much).
I could really go on forever, but these seem like some major thing that would make the life of students much easier. It's time for leaders to invest in their students. How can they argue that we're "the future" and put so much responsibility on us when they aren't willing to help us out? University is so expensive and it's hard work. Also, it's easy to argue that university shuts out a certain group of people who simply don't have the money to get an education, which pretty much digs them into a hole that they can't get out of (or lands them in enormous debt). Seriously, if you want a good future, invest in it.
-Laura
Saturday, 15 November 2014
What I Would do in Public as a Mother
Oops, I definitely forgot that Mark is out of town and without internet - as far as I'm aware - so I'll be doing the posts until he gets back.
This little post was inspired by a Christmas parade I attended this evening. Of course, there were too many children to count (with varying degrees of behavioural issues).
It's interesting to me, because I definitely see many different types of mothers. My sister lived in France for a year and tells me that French parents are not afraid to berate or spank their children in public, and often perfect strangers will berate the children as well. Apparently, they have zero tolerance for bad behaviour. I guess that's one way to do it. Then there's the mother who's totally disinterested and ignores any bad behaviour. There's also the angry mother who loses her temper and starts yelling and makes everyone else very uncomfortable. Mostly, you're uncomfortable because you feel terrible for the child and can clearly see the incompetence of the mother figure. Then there's the mother who just firmly tells her child what's right and wrong.
I don't think it's easy to be a mother. I personally don't have experience with that yet, but even a few hours of babysitting can be exhausting. It's hard to imagine doing that full time! However, ideally, I would love to be one of the mothers who can firmly explain to their child what's right and wrong and give a reason for it. I think that's important... if I don't know why something is wrong, why would I keep from doing it again? I also don't think scaring a child is the ideal strategy, nor calling huge attention to the behavioural issue. I hope that one day I can be a firm but kind mother. Every child has behavioural issues, but I think that the way you deal with them is so important. If you react with violence or anger, then that teaches your child that those are acceptable actions to take. Instead, shouldn't you show your children positive behaviours? And possibly reward them for good behaviour?
Again, I'm no parenting expert (and maybe a bit of an idealistic), but this is what I hope I would do!
-Laura
Friday, 14 November 2014
What I Would do if I were a Turkey around Thanksgiving
Well, this is a bit late for my fellow Canadians and early for you Americans, but I thought that since this post is right in between the two Thanksgivings, it's really the best solution.
So, every year this is a holiday called Thanksgiving, which I personally like to call National Turkey Genocide Day (yes, I'm vegetarian, in case you're wondering). If I were a turkey, I would be living in mortal fear of the fall months, knowing that my time was drawing to a close. Really, it's quite tragic when you think of the amount of turkeys killed for one day, but I'll save you the long moral spiel.
Here is what I would do if I were a turkey during this time of year and had the brains to know what was going on:
1. Let the fact that people are planning my imminent death sink in. Perhaps this will include some panic attacks, tears, or huge philosophical turkey thoughts.
2. Decide to do something about it. How about a nice escape plot?
3. Gather my fellow turkeys and brainstorm.
4. Attack the farmers in a mob. I would like to avoid bloodshed but desperate times may call for desperate measures. Hopefully I can knock them out and leave them without any further harm.
5. Scurry/fly away or whatever it is us turkeys do to move.
6. Hide out in the countryside.
7. Migrate to Europe or the North Pole. In Europe, I would probably be safe until Christmas (ish). In the North Pole, I could demand Santa's protection. This guy gives children presents for free every year. Try to tell me that he wouldn't offer turkeys sanctuary. Otherwise, maybe I'd find people from PETA. I'm pretty sure they would protect me with torches and pitchforks if need be.
8. Live out the remainder of my life in piece, flourishing and providing many offspring who would also live in turkey peace.
9. Throughout my turkey life, perhaps help other victims escape farm life, or else become a loud advocate for turkey rights.
-Laura
So, every year this is a holiday called Thanksgiving, which I personally like to call National Turkey Genocide Day (yes, I'm vegetarian, in case you're wondering). If I were a turkey, I would be living in mortal fear of the fall months, knowing that my time was drawing to a close. Really, it's quite tragic when you think of the amount of turkeys killed for one day, but I'll save you the long moral spiel.
Here is what I would do if I were a turkey during this time of year and had the brains to know what was going on:
1. Let the fact that people are planning my imminent death sink in. Perhaps this will include some panic attacks, tears, or huge philosophical turkey thoughts.
2. Decide to do something about it. How about a nice escape plot?
3. Gather my fellow turkeys and brainstorm.
4. Attack the farmers in a mob. I would like to avoid bloodshed but desperate times may call for desperate measures. Hopefully I can knock them out and leave them without any further harm.
5. Scurry/fly away or whatever it is us turkeys do to move.
6. Hide out in the countryside.
7. Migrate to Europe or the North Pole. In Europe, I would probably be safe until Christmas (ish). In the North Pole, I could demand Santa's protection. This guy gives children presents for free every year. Try to tell me that he wouldn't offer turkeys sanctuary. Otherwise, maybe I'd find people from PETA. I'm pretty sure they would protect me with torches and pitchforks if need be.
8. Live out the remainder of my life in piece, flourishing and providing many offspring who would also live in turkey peace.
9. Throughout my turkey life, perhaps help other victims escape farm life, or else become a loud advocate for turkey rights.
-Laura
Thursday, 13 November 2014
What I Would do if I Was Eighteen Years Old Right Now
It's a common thought for all of us; what would I do if I was older/younger right now? Well, today we're going to imagine that I, fourteen year old Mark, suddenly am 18 years of age. Perhaps I've gone into a coma for all this time, or was abducted by aliens. What would I do, you ask? Well, you've come to the right place...
1. I would cry. Almost four years of my life just vanished in the blink of an eye? Uh-uh, not feeling it.
2. I would go and get my drivers license, then drive to the bulk barn and drown my sorrows in chocolate covered pretzels. The great thing is, I can eat these things again- no more braces by the time I'm 18.
3. I'd get a job. After all, the money for those pretzels has to come from somewhere.
4. I'd go outside and run. I like running now, and I can only hope that my eighteen year old body is faster and stronger then my 14 year old body. I'd want to see how fast and how far I can go.
5. "Why haven't you gone drinking yet," I hear you cry. Well, I've had exactly two sips of alcohol in my lifetime, and those sips were hell. Seriously, I have no idea why adults drink wine and beer. They're disgusting! My theory is that they like to look all sophisticated, and so they convince themselves that they like the taste. And so maybe I'd try a sip of wine just to see if my opinions have changed with age, but then I'd probably give it up.
6. I'd explore the world four years from now and marvel in the (hopefully) new and wonderful technology. I'd also phone every one of my friends and relatives to see if they were still alive.
7. I'd also check to see who won the 2014 world chess championship. And the women's world cup. And all the other major sports tournaments.
8. I'd write a book entitled "In the Blink of an Eye" chronicling my experiences being reintegrated back into society after my traumatic incident in which I went into a four-year coma. This would, of course, become a best seller.
And that is honestly all I would want to do if I was suddenly eighteen years old. It seems that once you get to be eighteen, you have to go to university and work, and I don't really want to do any of those things right now. So take that, world! I'm in the mere five percent of the world's population that wouldn't want to be any other age then I am now. Boo-yeah!
Thanks for reading,
-Mark
1. I would cry. Almost four years of my life just vanished in the blink of an eye? Uh-uh, not feeling it.
2. I would go and get my drivers license, then drive to the bulk barn and drown my sorrows in chocolate covered pretzels. The great thing is, I can eat these things again- no more braces by the time I'm 18.
3. I'd get a job. After all, the money for those pretzels has to come from somewhere.
4. I'd go outside and run. I like running now, and I can only hope that my eighteen year old body is faster and stronger then my 14 year old body. I'd want to see how fast and how far I can go.
5. "Why haven't you gone drinking yet," I hear you cry. Well, I've had exactly two sips of alcohol in my lifetime, and those sips were hell. Seriously, I have no idea why adults drink wine and beer. They're disgusting! My theory is that they like to look all sophisticated, and so they convince themselves that they like the taste. And so maybe I'd try a sip of wine just to see if my opinions have changed with age, but then I'd probably give it up.
6. I'd explore the world four years from now and marvel in the (hopefully) new and wonderful technology. I'd also phone every one of my friends and relatives to see if they were still alive.
7. I'd also check to see who won the 2014 world chess championship. And the women's world cup. And all the other major sports tournaments.
8. I'd write a book entitled "In the Blink of an Eye" chronicling my experiences being reintegrated back into society after my traumatic incident in which I went into a four-year coma. This would, of course, become a best seller.
And that is honestly all I would want to do if I was suddenly eighteen years old. It seems that once you get to be eighteen, you have to go to university and work, and I don't really want to do any of those things right now. So take that, world! I'm in the mere five percent of the world's population that wouldn't want to be any other age then I am now. Boo-yeah!
Thanks for reading,
-Mark
Wednesday, 12 November 2014
What I Would Do if I had Mega-Metabolism
Yes, this is for all of you with a cruelly denied sweet-tooth: a post about food!
I have to say, personally, I have a problem with emotional eating. In fact, one of my best friends at university and I get together every week for what we call "Emotional Thursday". Essentially, this is a day of eating the week's feelings out with ice cream and juice or whatever sweet/salty junk we feel like while we watch Disney movies. I think we've both come to rely a bit on this day just because university life isn't always as pleasant as people might want you to think.
I don't think I feel as much guilt about my indulgences as I should, but I do feel some degree of guilt. There are probably better coping methods, but I have to say that Emotional Thursday is pretty great, and I'd never want to give it up. As a result, this is what I would do if I had Mega-Metabolism (and hopefully a strong stomach):
1. I would have Emotional Thursday and perhaps Emotional Monday/Wednesday in addition.
2. I would eat the following:
a) ice cream in a delicious flavour usually involving caramel, peanut butter, fudge, etc. and topped off with caramel sauce and whipped cream.
b) chips of various flavours (but probably mostly sour cream and onion, sun chips, Doritos, cheezies, etc.)
c) I would say copious amounts of alcohol, but that would probably ruin emotional Thursday, so...
d) chocolate! Lots of chocolate.
e) crackers and melted brie
f) pop or juice or lots of chocolate milk
g) pizza (preferably with feta and pesto)
h) cake (carrot, ginger, poppyseed, disgusting store-bought ones...)
i) patisseries (eclairs, religeuses chocolats)
j) some amounts of candy (maybe those fuzzy peach things. Those are pretty yummy)
k) pie! (pumpkin, lemon, coconut cream...)
l) garlic bread
m) hot chocolate
n) cookies! Shortbread, etc. I should do a holiday edition of this!!
o) avocado sushi. Mmmm!
p) all of my favourite foods, like vegetarian lasagna and sweet potato mac and cheese. Mmm
q) regular mac and cheese
r) french fries or sweet potato fries
...
I could go on, but I imagine this is either torturous, disgusting, boring, or amazing, depending on what sort of person you are. Maybe I should add another stipulation... a guarantee of amazing cardiovascular health.
In any case, it seems mightily unfair that there are so many delicious things around that we can't eat unless we're willing to compromise our health. This is really my idea of a perfect world... however, in my perfect world, we would also need vegetables and healthy food. Healthy food is good too, I promise. Spinach pie? Raspberry salad? Yes, I think we would still need healthy food. But maybe we could go 50/50.
-Laura
I have to say, personally, I have a problem with emotional eating. In fact, one of my best friends at university and I get together every week for what we call "Emotional Thursday". Essentially, this is a day of eating the week's feelings out with ice cream and juice or whatever sweet/salty junk we feel like while we watch Disney movies. I think we've both come to rely a bit on this day just because university life isn't always as pleasant as people might want you to think.
I don't think I feel as much guilt about my indulgences as I should, but I do feel some degree of guilt. There are probably better coping methods, but I have to say that Emotional Thursday is pretty great, and I'd never want to give it up. As a result, this is what I would do if I had Mega-Metabolism (and hopefully a strong stomach):
1. I would have Emotional Thursday and perhaps Emotional Monday/Wednesday in addition.
2. I would eat the following:
a) ice cream in a delicious flavour usually involving caramel, peanut butter, fudge, etc. and topped off with caramel sauce and whipped cream.
b) chips of various flavours (but probably mostly sour cream and onion, sun chips, Doritos, cheezies, etc.)
c) I would say copious amounts of alcohol, but that would probably ruin emotional Thursday, so...
d) chocolate! Lots of chocolate.
e) crackers and melted brie
f) pop or juice or lots of chocolate milk
g) pizza (preferably with feta and pesto)
h) cake (carrot, ginger, poppyseed, disgusting store-bought ones...)
i) patisseries (eclairs, religeuses chocolats)
j) some amounts of candy (maybe those fuzzy peach things. Those are pretty yummy)
k) pie! (pumpkin, lemon, coconut cream...)
l) garlic bread
m) hot chocolate
n) cookies! Shortbread, etc. I should do a holiday edition of this!!
o) avocado sushi. Mmmm!
p) all of my favourite foods, like vegetarian lasagna and sweet potato mac and cheese. Mmm
q) regular mac and cheese
r) french fries or sweet potato fries
...
I could go on, but I imagine this is either torturous, disgusting, boring, or amazing, depending on what sort of person you are. Maybe I should add another stipulation... a guarantee of amazing cardiovascular health.
In any case, it seems mightily unfair that there are so many delicious things around that we can't eat unless we're willing to compromise our health. This is really my idea of a perfect world... however, in my perfect world, we would also need vegetables and healthy food. Healthy food is good too, I promise. Spinach pie? Raspberry salad? Yes, I think we would still need healthy food. But maybe we could go 50/50.
-Laura
Tuesday, 11 November 2014
What I Would do if I Had Five More Hours In The Day
It seems I always decide that it's a good time to write on this blog when I've got a bunch of other stuff on my plate already.
Yes, today is a particularly busy day as I have to complete some homework I've been slacking off on, write another 1000 words or so for NaNoWriMo, and finish this blog post. So excuse me if this post seems rather short and/or rushed.
Luckily for me, my lack of time inspired this post and saved me the time of thinking of a topic. Before we start, note that the extra five hours are given to every day of my life, not just one. And now here we go...
Hour 1: I would write! Write, write, write. Isn't everyone's excuse for writing that they don't have enough time to do so? (Both of my sisters, I'm talking to you. Though I suppose you are in university, so I can't be to harsh.) Well, now everyone has all the time they need to create something, hopefully something that others will enjoy. And so I, and hopefully the rest of the world, would spend some time creating something.
Hour 2: I'd sleep. Everyone likes sleep, and now I can sleep longer guilt-free. Besides, I'll need the extra sleep to power me through the other extra hours I get.
Hour 3: Electronics. Undoubtably, an hour or so would fall to various youtube videos, online articles, and games.
Hour 4: Homework. I can't be bothered to do homework until the last minute, and so it would probably be pushed into my extra hours of the day.
Hour 5: Absolutely anything else I felt like doing. Maybe I could go sledding. Perhaps I could shovel the driveway and make a few dollars. Maybe I'd play a board game. The possibilities are endless.
And that is what I would do. Sure, what I would actually do would probably change every day, but this seems to be a fairly accurate general list. Now, I've really got to go, so... Thank you for reading and until next time,
-Mark
Okay, two quick side notes; first of all, check out my "What I would do if I could quit school... part 2!" for a way that you (possibly) could add 4-6 more hours to your day. Second of all, do you have any suggestions for "What I would do ifs?" If so, feel free to stick them in the comments below. See you!
Yes, today is a particularly busy day as I have to complete some homework I've been slacking off on, write another 1000 words or so for NaNoWriMo, and finish this blog post. So excuse me if this post seems rather short and/or rushed.
Luckily for me, my lack of time inspired this post and saved me the time of thinking of a topic. Before we start, note that the extra five hours are given to every day of my life, not just one. And now here we go...
Hour 1: I would write! Write, write, write. Isn't everyone's excuse for writing that they don't have enough time to do so? (Both of my sisters, I'm talking to you. Though I suppose you are in university, so I can't be to harsh.) Well, now everyone has all the time they need to create something, hopefully something that others will enjoy. And so I, and hopefully the rest of the world, would spend some time creating something.
Hour 2: I'd sleep. Everyone likes sleep, and now I can sleep longer guilt-free. Besides, I'll need the extra sleep to power me through the other extra hours I get.
Hour 3: Electronics. Undoubtably, an hour or so would fall to various youtube videos, online articles, and games.
Hour 4: Homework. I can't be bothered to do homework until the last minute, and so it would probably be pushed into my extra hours of the day.
Hour 5: Absolutely anything else I felt like doing. Maybe I could go sledding. Perhaps I could shovel the driveway and make a few dollars. Maybe I'd play a board game. The possibilities are endless.
And that is what I would do. Sure, what I would actually do would probably change every day, but this seems to be a fairly accurate general list. Now, I've really got to go, so... Thank you for reading and until next time,
-Mark
Okay, two quick side notes; first of all, check out my "What I would do if I could quit school... part 2!" for a way that you (possibly) could add 4-6 more hours to your day. Second of all, do you have any suggestions for "What I would do ifs?" If so, feel free to stick them in the comments below. See you!
Monday, 10 November 2014
What I Would Do to People who Hurt Me
Alright. This is one blog post where I'm actually going to push aside my conscience and talk about what Evil Laura would like to do.
Usually, when people say rude comments to me, I always calm myself down by thinking that I need to feel sorry for them. They can't be very happy people if they perpetually hurt other people to make themselves feel better. It's really, really hard, though. If I didn't care about peoples' feelings so much, this is what I would do to these bullies:
1. Call them out on what they're doing. Seriously, I would LOVE to be able to say something like "I would really appreciate it if you'd stop being so rude". However, that's more than a little passive aggressive so I always tuck that tidbit into my head.
2. Explain why what they're doing is wrong (although these people often seem unable to grasp that concept if they're doing it in the first place) and correct them if they're saying something ridiculous.
3. Leave. There are some situations where you have no choice but to suffer through being hurt. How nice would it be to be able to just walk out, though? I definitely have fantasies of a dramatic exit in which I don't give a ****.
4. Tell them what I actually think of them. So tempting, right?
5. Throw something at them, like an eraser or a bucket of water.
6. Expose them to the world. (Look at this guy. You think he's nice? Yeah, actually...)
7. Give them a timeout. When you're a kid, you get punished for being naughty. Should that really change if you're an adult? Sure, there's jail for the really bad stuff, but what about things that are technically legal? Insults, scathing comments, mentally abusive relationships... TIME OUT!
8. Give them a taste of their own medicine. Sit them down and yell insults at them and see if they like it.
9. Give them a nice, swift, punch in the face.
I'm sure there are many more, but I'll stop there in case I'm arrested myself on suspicion of being violent and cruel. I swear I'm not. I just need to dream sometimes to keep myself patient with people who hurt me so that I can continue to withstand being their emotional punching bag. Yes, I would never do this, but is it fun to imagine? Hell, yeah.
-Laura
Usually, when people say rude comments to me, I always calm myself down by thinking that I need to feel sorry for them. They can't be very happy people if they perpetually hurt other people to make themselves feel better. It's really, really hard, though. If I didn't care about peoples' feelings so much, this is what I would do to these bullies:
1. Call them out on what they're doing. Seriously, I would LOVE to be able to say something like "I would really appreciate it if you'd stop being so rude". However, that's more than a little passive aggressive so I always tuck that tidbit into my head.
2. Explain why what they're doing is wrong (although these people often seem unable to grasp that concept if they're doing it in the first place) and correct them if they're saying something ridiculous.
3. Leave. There are some situations where you have no choice but to suffer through being hurt. How nice would it be to be able to just walk out, though? I definitely have fantasies of a dramatic exit in which I don't give a ****.
4. Tell them what I actually think of them. So tempting, right?
5. Throw something at them, like an eraser or a bucket of water.
6. Expose them to the world. (Look at this guy. You think he's nice? Yeah, actually...)
7. Give them a timeout. When you're a kid, you get punished for being naughty. Should that really change if you're an adult? Sure, there's jail for the really bad stuff, but what about things that are technically legal? Insults, scathing comments, mentally abusive relationships... TIME OUT!
8. Give them a taste of their own medicine. Sit them down and yell insults at them and see if they like it.
9. Give them a nice, swift, punch in the face.
I'm sure there are many more, but I'll stop there in case I'm arrested myself on suspicion of being violent and cruel. I swear I'm not. I just need to dream sometimes to keep myself patient with people who hurt me so that I can continue to withstand being their emotional punching bag. Yes, I would never do this, but is it fun to imagine? Hell, yeah.
-Laura
Sunday, 9 November 2014
What I Would do if I Was School Principal For a Day
Did your school have something like this?
I hear tell of wondrous schools in which "Principal for a Day" actually exists. Now, I don't quite know the rules and restrictions for this position, as my school never had this. Although, the fact that I know so little about being school principal for a day is actually a good thing; I don't know the rules, and so I can make them up. In this scenario, there are no rules. I'm also going to assume for this exercise that the authorities, government and Edmonton school board have been payed off and so will allow this. Now without further ado:
1. First things first, I would give a salary to students. It has long seemed unfair to me that teachers get paid good money for sitting at their computers, while the students they assign hours of work to don't get a cent. This money for the students would, of course, come out of my least favourite teacher's pocket.
2. After announcing that the students would get paid, I would hold elections for who would be the principal for the rest of the year. The students would then be able to vote for either me or the old principal. Of course, with me giving them money and my winning personality :), all of the students would vote for me. Oh, okay, maybe some kids who actually wanted a decent education would vote for the regular principal. But those would be the minority, and I could just give them half the salary everyone else was earning as punishment.
3. I would implement a plan that I've been cooking up for years. What is this plan, you ask? Well, I like to call it the "We All Have Our Bad Days" plan, and it would be implemented immediately. Now here's what it's all about.
First of all, you know how you sometimes have those days when you just really, really don't want to go to school? Well, with this plan you don't have to. Basically, we'll have one teacher for every 1.05 students at the school, who would all stay at the school, every day, until five pm. All of them would be trained in every field that a student needed to learn.
With all these teachers around at all times, there will be one for every student at any given time. Therefore, any student can now just drop in to school whenever they like, and they'll have a teacher ready to teach them.
Imagine it! You wake up at 9:00. No worries, you don't have to go to school at any given time. You just get ready for school and go when you feel like it, and there will be a teacher waiting to teach you. And if you don't feel like going at all? No problem! Just go another day.
"But wait," I hear those of you who still follow me cry, "Why can't a student just skip school completely, if they don't have to be there at any given day or time?"
Well you see, a student still has to log a certain amount of hours at school every year. If you skip a day, then you'll have to make up for that time by staying later one day, or going on the weekends. You still go to school, you just get to switch around your days. You could also take any of your classes in any particular order, and for as long as you wanted, as long as you did the required amount of hours in that subject and all other subjects.
And the great thing about all this is, students will actually spend more time at school! If you're to sick to go to school on a regular schedule, you miss the day. With this new plan you can take the day off, but you'll have to make that time up later. Same goes for vacations in the middle of the school year.
See, it's genius. If only they could program a couple hundred robots for every school, that dream might become reality. Alas, no one else seems to agree with me that this would be a good idea...
And you know what? I think I'm out of time. I keep a bit of a limit on the length of my posts, and I think I've almost exceeded it here. Therefore, watch for a "What I Would do if I Was School Principal For a Day #2!"
Thanks for reading,
-Mark
I hear tell of wondrous schools in which "Principal for a Day" actually exists. Now, I don't quite know the rules and restrictions for this position, as my school never had this. Although, the fact that I know so little about being school principal for a day is actually a good thing; I don't know the rules, and so I can make them up. In this scenario, there are no rules. I'm also going to assume for this exercise that the authorities, government and Edmonton school board have been payed off and so will allow this. Now without further ado:
1. First things first, I would give a salary to students. It has long seemed unfair to me that teachers get paid good money for sitting at their computers, while the students they assign hours of work to don't get a cent. This money for the students would, of course, come out of my least favourite teacher's pocket.
2. After announcing that the students would get paid, I would hold elections for who would be the principal for the rest of the year. The students would then be able to vote for either me or the old principal. Of course, with me giving them money and my winning personality :), all of the students would vote for me. Oh, okay, maybe some kids who actually wanted a decent education would vote for the regular principal. But those would be the minority, and I could just give them half the salary everyone else was earning as punishment.
3. I would implement a plan that I've been cooking up for years. What is this plan, you ask? Well, I like to call it the "We All Have Our Bad Days" plan, and it would be implemented immediately. Now here's what it's all about.
First of all, you know how you sometimes have those days when you just really, really don't want to go to school? Well, with this plan you don't have to. Basically, we'll have one teacher for every 1.05 students at the school, who would all stay at the school, every day, until five pm. All of them would be trained in every field that a student needed to learn.
With all these teachers around at all times, there will be one for every student at any given time. Therefore, any student can now just drop in to school whenever they like, and they'll have a teacher ready to teach them.
Imagine it! You wake up at 9:00. No worries, you don't have to go to school at any given time. You just get ready for school and go when you feel like it, and there will be a teacher waiting to teach you. And if you don't feel like going at all? No problem! Just go another day.
"But wait," I hear those of you who still follow me cry, "Why can't a student just skip school completely, if they don't have to be there at any given day or time?"
Well you see, a student still has to log a certain amount of hours at school every year. If you skip a day, then you'll have to make up for that time by staying later one day, or going on the weekends. You still go to school, you just get to switch around your days. You could also take any of your classes in any particular order, and for as long as you wanted, as long as you did the required amount of hours in that subject and all other subjects.
And the great thing about all this is, students will actually spend more time at school! If you're to sick to go to school on a regular schedule, you miss the day. With this new plan you can take the day off, but you'll have to make that time up later. Same goes for vacations in the middle of the school year.
See, it's genius. If only they could program a couple hundred robots for every school, that dream might become reality. Alas, no one else seems to agree with me that this would be a good idea...
And you know what? I think I'm out of time. I keep a bit of a limit on the length of my posts, and I think I've almost exceeded it here. Therefore, watch for a "What I Would do if I Was School Principal For a Day #2!"
Thanks for reading,
-Mark
Saturday, 8 November 2014
What I Would do if I were an Old Lady
Today during a rehearsal, my character (a crotchety ancient lady with no filter) inspired me to think of what life would be like if I were elderly. Society treats different age groups of society very differently. It would be nice if that were untrue, but, unfortunately, that's not the case. Teenagers are automatically delinquents, children are innocent and adorable, and once you reach a certain old age, you also become adorable. As a result, some things are now acceptable for you to do that would otherwise be forbidden.
If I were an ancient woman today, I would:
1. Cut to the front of every line, because I'm old, deaf, in pain, and don't know any better. And, if anyone argues, I'd just lecture them on disrespecting their elders.
2. Use those tempting, almost always empty handicapped parking spots. How nice would that be? A spot always available!
3. Watch junk television and ignore all pop music (which I tend to dislike already, so clearly I'm already halfway to being old).
4. Wear the most comfortable, ugly clothing items without fear of judgment because, let's face it, I'm adorable.
5. Show my less than pleasant moods to the world instead of trying to conceal them to be polite. Because I'm old, and I don't have time for such things.
6. Take advantage of the stereotypical old person lack of a filter. If you're being an idiot, don't worry, I'll tell you.
7. Cook delicious things all the time.
8. Fawn over other peoples' children and pets without being considered creepy or weird. Because the elderly obviously only have good intentions. Surely all the bad people from that generation are already dead or in jail, right?
9. Do strange things like take bubble baths every day or drink a glass of sherry every day at noon.
10. Become amazingly innovative... knitting, crocheting, sewing galore!
11. Up my bingo game.
12. Buy a million cats and/or dogs and keep them in my gloriously warm and plushly furnished house.
13. Never work again, but devote myself only to my interests, accomplishing the things I want to, and enjoying life. Think daily walks in the park or feeding birds (particularly pigeons).
14. Talk about whatever weird things I wanted, because I'm old and I can do that. Aliens? Check. Government conspiracy theories? Check. My pets? Check. My bowels or health? Check.
In short, being old would be fun. Well, except for the pain and the physical degradation. But isn't it nice to think that, even with age, we all have something to look forward to?
If I were an ancient woman today, I would:
1. Cut to the front of every line, because I'm old, deaf, in pain, and don't know any better. And, if anyone argues, I'd just lecture them on disrespecting their elders.
2. Use those tempting, almost always empty handicapped parking spots. How nice would that be? A spot always available!
3. Watch junk television and ignore all pop music (which I tend to dislike already, so clearly I'm already halfway to being old).
4. Wear the most comfortable, ugly clothing items without fear of judgment because, let's face it, I'm adorable.
5. Show my less than pleasant moods to the world instead of trying to conceal them to be polite. Because I'm old, and I don't have time for such things.
6. Take advantage of the stereotypical old person lack of a filter. If you're being an idiot, don't worry, I'll tell you.
7. Cook delicious things all the time.
8. Fawn over other peoples' children and pets without being considered creepy or weird. Because the elderly obviously only have good intentions. Surely all the bad people from that generation are already dead or in jail, right?
9. Do strange things like take bubble baths every day or drink a glass of sherry every day at noon.
10. Become amazingly innovative... knitting, crocheting, sewing galore!
11. Up my bingo game.
12. Buy a million cats and/or dogs and keep them in my gloriously warm and plushly furnished house.
13. Never work again, but devote myself only to my interests, accomplishing the things I want to, and enjoying life. Think daily walks in the park or feeding birds (particularly pigeons).
14. Talk about whatever weird things I wanted, because I'm old and I can do that. Aliens? Check. Government conspiracy theories? Check. My pets? Check. My bowels or health? Check.
In short, being old would be fun. Well, except for the pain and the physical degradation. But isn't it nice to think that, even with age, we all have something to look forward to?
Friday, 7 November 2014
What I Would do if I Could Quit School... Part 2!
Hey y'all, it's me again. Today, I'm going to cheap out on the think-of-a-situation thing and instead just steal one of Laura's prompts. So here we are, with What I Would do if I Could Quit School 2.0.
1. First off, I would win the lottery. After all, I sort of need school if I want to get a decent job one day, and so in the real world I'll be staying in school for a long while yet. In this world that I leave school, however, I need money. Therefore winning the lottery seems like a logical first step.
2. I'd travel the world with my family. Hey, I just won the lottery, right? I've got money to burn.
3. I'd do all the other generic things that come with winning the lottery like giving money to charity and all that jazz.
4. I would actually do what this question was intended to be about; In other words, what I would create and do with my time, not how I'd spend my money from a lottery I'd just won. And so;
5. I'd write like crazy. I've gotta immortalize myself somehow, and writing some classic novel seems like a good way to do that. Plus... I just like writing.
6. Wait, I just thought of this one, which perhaps would be the first thing I would do... if I could quit school, I'd go and gloat to all of my friends who had to stay in school!
7. I'd probably play an unhealthy amount of video games.
8. I'd learn to speak a new language. This is perhaps ironic as my least favourite subject in school is french, but still...
9. I'd learn to play a musical instrument. I got pretty good with a ukulele in elementary school, but the instrument was school supplied and at the end of grade six a promising career as a world-famous ukulele player was squandered.
10. I would try a polyphasic sleep cycle. Has anyone else heard about these? Basically, a polyphasic sleep cycle is an alternate sleep cycle as opposed to the usual "sleep eight hours every night" cycle. Most of these consist of taking multiple short naps throughout the day instead of one big eight hour chunk. By taking these short naps, you can trick your body into immediately going into REM sleep (the most efficient sleep stage for you 're-charging') when you fall asleep instead of going through other, less efficient stages of sleep before you hit this stage. By instantly going into REM sleep, you can get more rest in a shorter period of time then the usual sleep cycle. Some users of polyphasic sleep cycles report being better rested on 2-4 hours of sleep a day then they ever were with the eight hours a night gig. Am I making any sense here? No? Oh, just read the article in the link.
11. And finally, I would ski. Skiing would have to be my favourite sport, and so what better way to spend my freedom from school? This, of course, would only be possible in the winter. If it was summer, then hiking would take the place of skiing.
I can only hope that one day, after I'm finished with school for real, this dream will become a reality. Of course, when I think about it, a lot of these things I can do even with school. I can still travel. I can still write, still learn a new language. Still learn to play an instrument. I ski and hike fairly often anyways. Heck, I can do everything on this list, with a bit of luck. You know... maybe school isn't all that bad after all.
Thanks for reading,
-Mark
PS: URGENT, ALL IMPORTANT ADVICE: There are three things you must learn to do in your life if you want it to be awesome You must learn how to bike, to ski, and to swim. This is the holy trinity of things-everyone-should-know-how-to-do-but-don't. Learn to do all these things. If you don't then you are missing out, my friend. (I suppose you could add skating to the list, but the holy quadnity doesn't have the same ring to it. Maybe water skiing, to. I dunno, I've never tried.)
PPS: Did you guys know that PS stands for post-script? I didn't know that until about a year ago and it blew my mind. So there you go.
1. First off, I would win the lottery. After all, I sort of need school if I want to get a decent job one day, and so in the real world I'll be staying in school for a long while yet. In this world that I leave school, however, I need money. Therefore winning the lottery seems like a logical first step.
2. I'd travel the world with my family. Hey, I just won the lottery, right? I've got money to burn.
3. I'd do all the other generic things that come with winning the lottery like giving money to charity and all that jazz.
4. I would actually do what this question was intended to be about; In other words, what I would create and do with my time, not how I'd spend my money from a lottery I'd just won. And so;
5. I'd write like crazy. I've gotta immortalize myself somehow, and writing some classic novel seems like a good way to do that. Plus... I just like writing.
6. Wait, I just thought of this one, which perhaps would be the first thing I would do... if I could quit school, I'd go and gloat to all of my friends who had to stay in school!
7. I'd probably play an unhealthy amount of video games.
8. I'd learn to speak a new language. This is perhaps ironic as my least favourite subject in school is french, but still...
9. I'd learn to play a musical instrument. I got pretty good with a ukulele in elementary school, but the instrument was school supplied and at the end of grade six a promising career as a world-famous ukulele player was squandered.
10. I would try a polyphasic sleep cycle. Has anyone else heard about these? Basically, a polyphasic sleep cycle is an alternate sleep cycle as opposed to the usual "sleep eight hours every night" cycle. Most of these consist of taking multiple short naps throughout the day instead of one big eight hour chunk. By taking these short naps, you can trick your body into immediately going into REM sleep (the most efficient sleep stage for you 're-charging') when you fall asleep instead of going through other, less efficient stages of sleep before you hit this stage. By instantly going into REM sleep, you can get more rest in a shorter period of time then the usual sleep cycle. Some users of polyphasic sleep cycles report being better rested on 2-4 hours of sleep a day then they ever were with the eight hours a night gig. Am I making any sense here? No? Oh, just read the article in the link.
11. And finally, I would ski. Skiing would have to be my favourite sport, and so what better way to spend my freedom from school? This, of course, would only be possible in the winter. If it was summer, then hiking would take the place of skiing.
I can only hope that one day, after I'm finished with school for real, this dream will become a reality. Of course, when I think about it, a lot of these things I can do even with school. I can still travel. I can still write, still learn a new language. Still learn to play an instrument. I ski and hike fairly often anyways. Heck, I can do everything on this list, with a bit of luck. You know... maybe school isn't all that bad after all.
Thanks for reading,
-Mark
PS: URGENT, ALL IMPORTANT ADVICE: There are three things you must learn to do in your life if you want it to be awesome You must learn how to bike, to ski, and to swim. This is the holy trinity of things-everyone-should-know-how-to-do-but-don't. Learn to do all these things. If you don't then you are missing out, my friend. (I suppose you could add skating to the list, but the holy quadnity doesn't have the same ring to it. Maybe water skiing, to. I dunno, I've never tried.)
PPS: Did you guys know that PS stands for post-script? I didn't know that until about a year ago and it blew my mind. So there you go.
Thursday, 6 November 2014
What I Would Do to Bad Teachers
The fortunate part of having a great blogging buddy is the inspiration that comes along with it. Thank you, Mark, for mentioning your awful French teacher!
All throughout my public school education, there were many teachers that I would look at with admiration, not because they were good at their job, but because they managed to get a job in the first place when they were insane, idiotic, or just not good with kids or teens.
Among the worst teachers I've had, I've had teachers who:
a) Hit people who were late to class with a rubber chicken, drank cough syrup, encouraged us to go out onto the streets naked and holding a sandwich board in protest for a good mark on an assignment, judo-flipped a student who surprised her, poured white powder all over my friend's stuff, tried to teach us to write an essay using "Mr. Essay Man" although we were in high school, imitating other teachers behind their backs and strongly hinted that they should retire to make room for new teachers (when they were clearly amazing at their jobs), etc.
b) Claimed to be fluent in French, yet relied on google translate and pronounced French words in the following ways: "montagne" - Mon-TANG, "piscine" = Piss-in, petite = peu-TIT, etc. She also called one student a giraffe just because she didn't like him and another student stupid. The thing that really made my blood boil, though, was that she regularly picked on a mildly autistic boy.
c) A teacher who called us all "dweebs", told us to "get a life", once called a student a bitch to her face, and yelled at us for doing something as simple as looking out a window.
The list could go on. The point being that while there are many teachers who I love and admire to this day, there are also teachers who I would hate to ever run into again simply because the memories of them still make me angry and a little bit scared.
This is what I would do to them if I could:
1. Put a hidden camera or other recording device in the classroom to record an average class with them. Then I would want to send it to an authority figure who could take the appropriate action based on their teaching abilities and/or inappropriate personalities. This would be my top priority... these things are so inappropriate and how these people have jobs while other good teachers don't absolutely blows my mind.
2. Force them to go through everything they put us through: keep them in a tiny desk all day while we shouted verbal abuse at them, and give them enough homework that they're regularly up until all hours of the morning.
3. Put a bucket of water above their door that fell on them when they opened it.
4. Fill their whiteboard markers with something that would cause them to explode, shooting ink all over them.
5. Trash the classroom thoroughly, including graffiti, toilet paper, food spills, broken desks, chairs, and windows, etc.
6. Have a speaker play loud noises at opportune moments (i.e. the beginning of Beethoven's fifths, screaming, cymbal crashes, etc).
7. Hire a student to run through the classroom screaming before grabbing onto the teacher for dear life (preferably in a hug). And just stay there until the teacher managed to extricate him or herself.
8. Throw my desk and chair across the room and just leave dramatically, preferably while telling them exactly what I thought of them for a long and impassioned speech that would cause them to rethink their life choices and regret how cruel they were to their students (seriously, do they not remember what it feels like to be young or alone or lost? Words hurt. So do rubber chickens.)
Of course, I wouldn't ever really do something this mean, but that's the fun of this blog. It's nice to dream.
-Laura
Wednesday, 5 November 2014
What I Would do if I Wasn't Writing This Blog Post
Hi everyone!
It's me, your new blogger buddy! From this moment (7:54pm Edmonton time) onward, I will be the second writer here at this blog. Let me introduce myself.
My name is Mark, and Laura (see her posts above and below this one) is my sister. She has rather neglected to introduce me to you chaps, or even herself for that matter, so I suppose I'll fill you in on both of us now.
I myself live in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, along with my cat and parents. I've created a couple blogs before with mixed success, so I half know what I'm doing with this blogging thing. Not quite, but almost. Now, I myself am still a young'n, so please excuse the perhaps inferior quality of my writing in comparison to my sister- and speaking of my sister, lets talk about her.
Now, I don't want her calling me tomorrow, shouting at me (she'd never shout at me. Or anyone.) that I'd given away her address and phone number, so I'll keep the info on her fairly slim at the moment. What I can tell you is that she and my other sister go to university in Halifax, and that both of them are awesome. There. You can now refer to her as 'the Halifax-dwelling awesome one.'
Now, I was called by said awesome one earlier today, and we talked about me getting started on this blog. The thing is, I was rather unsure as to what I should write about for this post. Laura advised me "anything," and so I inquired on the possibility of me writing about the political situation in Pakistan. At that point Laura cancelled her "anything" instruction and sent me to write about something that actually fitted with the theme of the blog. And so I was left alone to think of a good topic.
The problem was, the only thing I could think about was my french homework, and how I needed to finish that for tomorrow. Plus, there were about five other things I wanted to do tonight... And then it hit me. And so, slightly belatedly, here we go with...
WHAT I WOULD DO IF I WASN'T WRITING THIS BLOG POST
1. I would continue working on my french homework, which is long, tedious and requires the use of google translate to get through. I'm not very good at french, and this isn't made any easier by the fact that my french teacher isn't any good at teaching.
2. After completing my french homework, I'd be struggling to catch up with Nanowrimo, which is the more chill name for National Novel Writing Month. I fell slightly behind yesterday, and have to make that up today.
3. I'd be watching an episode of Doctor Who, a TV show I was just introduced to yesterday by my grade two girlfriend. More on her in a later post...
4. Interspersed throughout the activities above, I'd be eating halloween candy. I went out for a final time this year, and my candy is begging to be consumed.
5. Also interspersed throughout the above activities, I'd be doing absolutely nothing! Okay, okay, it's impossible to do nothing, but staring into space and checking Facebook for a message from my grade two girlfriend count as nothing in my books.
6. Finally, I would be sleeping earlier, as this blog post will invariably set me getting into bed back 45 minutes. Just remember; I did it for you guys.
And now I'd better wrap this thing up, partly because this is fairly long due to the introductions, and partly because I really need to get on that french homework! In the meantime, thanks for reading. Laura, and hopefully all of you guys, I'll see you tomorrow.
-Mark
It's me, your new blogger buddy! From this moment (7:54pm Edmonton time) onward, I will be the second writer here at this blog. Let me introduce myself.
My name is Mark, and Laura (see her posts above and below this one) is my sister. She has rather neglected to introduce me to you chaps, or even herself for that matter, so I suppose I'll fill you in on both of us now.
I myself live in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, along with my cat and parents. I've created a couple blogs before with mixed success, so I half know what I'm doing with this blogging thing. Not quite, but almost. Now, I myself am still a young'n, so please excuse the perhaps inferior quality of my writing in comparison to my sister- and speaking of my sister, lets talk about her.
Now, I don't want her calling me tomorrow, shouting at me (she'd never shout at me. Or anyone.) that I'd given away her address and phone number, so I'll keep the info on her fairly slim at the moment. What I can tell you is that she and my other sister go to university in Halifax, and that both of them are awesome. There. You can now refer to her as 'the Halifax-dwelling awesome one.'
Now, I was called by said awesome one earlier today, and we talked about me getting started on this blog. The thing is, I was rather unsure as to what I should write about for this post. Laura advised me "anything," and so I inquired on the possibility of me writing about the political situation in Pakistan. At that point Laura cancelled her "anything" instruction and sent me to write about something that actually fitted with the theme of the blog. And so I was left alone to think of a good topic.
The problem was, the only thing I could think about was my french homework, and how I needed to finish that for tomorrow. Plus, there were about five other things I wanted to do tonight... And then it hit me. And so, slightly belatedly, here we go with...
WHAT I WOULD DO IF I WASN'T WRITING THIS BLOG POST
1. I would continue working on my french homework, which is long, tedious and requires the use of google translate to get through. I'm not very good at french, and this isn't made any easier by the fact that my french teacher isn't any good at teaching.
2. After completing my french homework, I'd be struggling to catch up with Nanowrimo, which is the more chill name for National Novel Writing Month. I fell slightly behind yesterday, and have to make that up today.
3. I'd be watching an episode of Doctor Who, a TV show I was just introduced to yesterday by my grade two girlfriend. More on her in a later post...
4. Interspersed throughout the activities above, I'd be eating halloween candy. I went out for a final time this year, and my candy is begging to be consumed.
5. Also interspersed throughout the above activities, I'd be doing absolutely nothing! Okay, okay, it's impossible to do nothing, but staring into space and checking Facebook for a message from my grade two girlfriend count as nothing in my books.
6. Finally, I would be sleeping earlier, as this blog post will invariably set me getting into bed back 45 minutes. Just remember; I did it for you guys.
And now I'd better wrap this thing up, partly because this is fairly long due to the introductions, and partly because I really need to get on that french homework! In the meantime, thanks for reading. Laura, and hopefully all of you guys, I'll see you tomorrow.
-Mark
Tuesday, 4 November 2014
What I Would do to Horribly Mean People
There are some very lovely people in this world.
Unfortunately, there are also some downright horrible people in this world. You hear about them; they're the sort who hurt black cats on Halloween for fun, or yell at children, or take out their anger at life on everyone else. Sometimes people have redeeming qualities. Other times, all you can see if how miserable they make the rest of the world and how they don't care. And you just wait for this beautiful thing called karma to come into play and give them what they deserve.
Well, sometimes karma isn't all it's cracked up to be.
If I could legally do this (assuming that these people really had no redeeming qualities) this is what I would do:
1. I would bake them a giant cake with sprinkles and leave it with balloons on their doorstep with a card that said how much I loved them.
2. If they were still mean, I would give them giant hugs.
3. I would give them coffee and ask them to talk about it.
4. If, by this point, they still had no redeeming qualities, proceed as follows:
a) get some beautiful coloured paint and sharpies, then proceed to decorate all home windows and their car, drawing all manners of happy things (and perhaps a warning to stay out of their way or else to give them hugs).
b) knit them a sweater and embroider the words "hug me" on it.
c) put animal excrement in their garbage cans outside of garbage bags. Pretty annoying.
d) leave them an extremely vicious feral cat to either become best friends due to similar natures or else to make each other miserable instead of the rest of the world.
e) plant pretty flowers in their front garden.
f) play happy music on repeat from a hidden speaker.
g) replace their movie collection with comedies.
h) buy them fuzzy blankets, fuzzy socks, and bubble bath.
i) fill the entire house with balloons that go spilling out when you open the door.
*warning: if you proceed with these, you will likely need a large budget and also a good lawyer to deal with charges of breaking and entering.
Oh dear. I really meant to make this a horrible list (like smashing windows and stuff, but I pictured the meanest person I knew and all I could do was feel sorry for them. However, if you're into the whole revenge thing, feel free to go that route instead of my fluffy santa claus route.
What would you do?
Unfortunately, there are also some downright horrible people in this world. You hear about them; they're the sort who hurt black cats on Halloween for fun, or yell at children, or take out their anger at life on everyone else. Sometimes people have redeeming qualities. Other times, all you can see if how miserable they make the rest of the world and how they don't care. And you just wait for this beautiful thing called karma to come into play and give them what they deserve.
Well, sometimes karma isn't all it's cracked up to be.
If I could legally do this (assuming that these people really had no redeeming qualities) this is what I would do:
1. I would bake them a giant cake with sprinkles and leave it with balloons on their doorstep with a card that said how much I loved them.
2. If they were still mean, I would give them giant hugs.
3. I would give them coffee and ask them to talk about it.
4. If, by this point, they still had no redeeming qualities, proceed as follows:
a) get some beautiful coloured paint and sharpies, then proceed to decorate all home windows and their car, drawing all manners of happy things (and perhaps a warning to stay out of their way or else to give them hugs).
b) knit them a sweater and embroider the words "hug me" on it.
c) put animal excrement in their garbage cans outside of garbage bags. Pretty annoying.
d) leave them an extremely vicious feral cat to either become best friends due to similar natures or else to make each other miserable instead of the rest of the world.
e) plant pretty flowers in their front garden.
f) play happy music on repeat from a hidden speaker.
g) replace their movie collection with comedies.
h) buy them fuzzy blankets, fuzzy socks, and bubble bath.
i) fill the entire house with balloons that go spilling out when you open the door.
*warning: if you proceed with these, you will likely need a large budget and also a good lawyer to deal with charges of breaking and entering.
Oh dear. I really meant to make this a horrible list (like smashing windows and stuff, but I pictured the meanest person I knew and all I could do was feel sorry for them. However, if you're into the whole revenge thing, feel free to go that route instead of my fluffy santa claus route.
What would you do?
Monday, 3 November 2014
What I Would do to the Paparazzi II
There are just so many evil things that one could do to the paparazzi that I just had to write a second plot:
1. Have a trusted friend call up the paparazzi anonymously, telling them that - gasp - I had sent them a nude photo of myself!
*Note: friend can be either male or female if you wish to stir up even more of a reaction by putting your sexuality into question.
2. The paparazzi freak out (in a good way!) and ask to be sent the picture, offering exorbitant amounts of money.
3. Friend does not accept the money (that would be a little TOO mean and probably very illegal) and sends them a photo of a goat or a gorilla with my head pasted on. Underneath there would be a caption like "Monkey off" or "you're baaaaad people". Ooh, or a bee with my head. "Buzzzzzz off. Mind your own beeswax."
*Note: if this sort of line isn't your thing (like me), good old-fashioned swears and insults will do, particularly in other languages. Those are fun! (Sitzpinkler is a great one)
4. The paparazzi probably doesn't care all that much, but you and your friend have a good laugh and a good glass of wine.
What would you do?
1. Have a trusted friend call up the paparazzi anonymously, telling them that - gasp - I had sent them a nude photo of myself!
*Note: friend can be either male or female if you wish to stir up even more of a reaction by putting your sexuality into question.
2. The paparazzi freak out (in a good way!) and ask to be sent the picture, offering exorbitant amounts of money.
3. Friend does not accept the money (that would be a little TOO mean and probably very illegal) and sends them a photo of a goat or a gorilla with my head pasted on. Underneath there would be a caption like "Monkey off" or "you're baaaaad people". Ooh, or a bee with my head. "Buzzzzzz off. Mind your own beeswax."
*Note: if this sort of line isn't your thing (like me), good old-fashioned swears and insults will do, particularly in other languages. Those are fun! (Sitzpinkler is a great one)
4. The paparazzi probably doesn't care all that much, but you and your friend have a good laugh and a good glass of wine.
What would you do?
Sunday, 2 November 2014
What I Would do to My Friends' Potential Boyfriends
Props to Adrienne for inspiring this one.
Let's face it. As friends, we love to hear each other's news. We love to hear about each other's accomplishments, woes, fears, and, of course, each other's love lives. Not because we're shallow (well, maybe sometimes a little bit) but because we're genuinely invested in each other's happiness.
However, there is one small problem with the discussions on love lives. How on earth do we get to know about potential mates for our friends? Of course, the easiest solution is stalking. Therefore, if I could, I would stalk my friends' potential boyfriends in this manner:
1. I would steal their phones and look at all of their texts, judging them on a scale of 1-10 on content, punctuation, and grammar.
2. I would look into their bedrooms to see their states of cleanliness. Bad smells, exploded closets... those are all very bad signs.
3. I would take sneaky pictures to judge their attractiveness and style.This may not be a deal breaker if their personality tests are successful (clearly, my friends' opinions are most important in this manner). Nevertheless, one can learn a lot from someone's appearance. Or it can be fun to admire them and dream. Appearance shall be judged on a scale of 1-10, with extra points for eyeliner and scruff.
4. I would shadow them for a day to get a feel for their personality, including several personality tests. One would be dropping money, for example, to see if they returned it. In addition to the tests, I could discover several key deal-breakers: do they prefer tea or coffee? Do they pick their noses? Do they chew with their mouth open? Do they prefer dogs or cats? What do they do for fun? Are they hygienic? Do they spend more time on their hair than I do?
5. I would steal their iPod to take a look at their music taste. Bad music taste is always a deal breaker. For other friends, I would also look at other tastes, such as tastes in food, movies, and books.
6. I would interview their friends, family, and exes. It would be better to hear the deal-breakers from inside sources early in the proceedings.
7. I would search all report card records to decide if our favourite subjects were compatible.
8. I would check police records. Do they text and drive? ALERT ALERT ALERT.
In this manner, I would quickly discover the merits of my friends' potential partners and their compatibility with both my friend and myself. Let's face it, clinginess is a big downer. If they take my friend away, they are instantly fired from my list of approval.
What would you do?
Let's face it. As friends, we love to hear each other's news. We love to hear about each other's accomplishments, woes, fears, and, of course, each other's love lives. Not because we're shallow (well, maybe sometimes a little bit) but because we're genuinely invested in each other's happiness.
However, there is one small problem with the discussions on love lives. How on earth do we get to know about potential mates for our friends? Of course, the easiest solution is stalking. Therefore, if I could, I would stalk my friends' potential boyfriends in this manner:
1. I would steal their phones and look at all of their texts, judging them on a scale of 1-10 on content, punctuation, and grammar.
2. I would look into their bedrooms to see their states of cleanliness. Bad smells, exploded closets... those are all very bad signs.
3. I would take sneaky pictures to judge their attractiveness and style.This may not be a deal breaker if their personality tests are successful (clearly, my friends' opinions are most important in this manner). Nevertheless, one can learn a lot from someone's appearance. Or it can be fun to admire them and dream. Appearance shall be judged on a scale of 1-10, with extra points for eyeliner and scruff.
4. I would shadow them for a day to get a feel for their personality, including several personality tests. One would be dropping money, for example, to see if they returned it. In addition to the tests, I could discover several key deal-breakers: do they prefer tea or coffee? Do they pick their noses? Do they chew with their mouth open? Do they prefer dogs or cats? What do they do for fun? Are they hygienic? Do they spend more time on their hair than I do?
5. I would steal their iPod to take a look at their music taste. Bad music taste is always a deal breaker. For other friends, I would also look at other tastes, such as tastes in food, movies, and books.
6. I would interview their friends, family, and exes. It would be better to hear the deal-breakers from inside sources early in the proceedings.
7. I would search all report card records to decide if our favourite subjects were compatible.
8. I would check police records. Do they text and drive? ALERT ALERT ALERT.
In this manner, I would quickly discover the merits of my friends' potential partners and their compatibility with both my friend and myself. Let's face it, clinginess is a big downer. If they take my friend away, they are instantly fired from my list of approval.
What would you do?
What I Would do to the Paparazzi if I were Famous
It's so easy in our Western society to idolize celebrities, but when we think of them as people, sometimes it's harder to envy them. Can you imagine what it would be like to be swarmed by cameras everywhere you go and find lies about you on the cover of every other magazine?
If I were a celebrity and I couldn't be arrested, I would plan an elaborate plot to get back at the paparazzi. If you're a celebrity, take note:
1. I would call up every friend and family member who I thought would want to get in on my scheme.
2. I would get one of them to phone up the paparazzi anonymously to "tip them off" that I would be at a certain place doing something scandalous. Perhaps I would be drunk and driving naked through a park, for example.
3. The paparazzi would arrive with cameras and iPads and whatever else in tow, ready to pounce.
4. In fact, the paparazzi would be the ones being pounced. My posse would now jump out from behind the trees with hoses and water guns and water balloons and bombard those nosy people and their cameras.
5. A wizard of Oz style projection of my face would be projected over the woods to proclaim "Mind your own business!" and perhaps throw in an evil laugh or two.
6. The paparazzi would run away crying, thoroughly berated and hopefully carrying a lesson or two away with them.
What would you do?
If I were a celebrity and I couldn't be arrested, I would plan an elaborate plot to get back at the paparazzi. If you're a celebrity, take note:
1. I would call up every friend and family member who I thought would want to get in on my scheme.
2. I would get one of them to phone up the paparazzi anonymously to "tip them off" that I would be at a certain place doing something scandalous. Perhaps I would be drunk and driving naked through a park, for example.
3. The paparazzi would arrive with cameras and iPads and whatever else in tow, ready to pounce.
4. In fact, the paparazzi would be the ones being pounced. My posse would now jump out from behind the trees with hoses and water guns and water balloons and bombard those nosy people and their cameras.
5. A wizard of Oz style projection of my face would be projected over the woods to proclaim "Mind your own business!" and perhaps throw in an evil laugh or two.
6. The paparazzi would run away crying, thoroughly berated and hopefully carrying a lesson or two away with them.
What would you do?
Saturday, 1 November 2014
What I Would do if I Could Quit School
Imagine, just for a minute, that university was not required for a job. Imagine that you did not need to get a job. Imagine that you didn't need any money. Imagine that everything was provided for you for a month of freedom.
Here's what I would do:
1. I would spend at least a full day painting something beautiful. It wouldn't matter if it was good. I would just find the most beautiful thing I had ever seen - like a sunset over the ocean - and just let whatever came out of my paintbrush come.
2. I would spend part of every day in a different coffee shop. I would people watch and write and enjoy being on my own but not alone.
3. I would learn what I wanted to. No required classes that I wasn't interested in. I would just google the s*** out of anything and everything that interested me.
4. I would read all sorts of books and plays that I don't have time to read right now.
5. I would cook something amazing every other day and experiment (because, let's face it, every day would be exhausting).
6. I'd learn something new every day, like gardening or snowboarding or mountain climbing or cutting my own hair or making my own clothes.
7. I would go for long walks in parks and gardens. The world is too darn beautiful to ignore while in class or doing homework.
8. I would meet new people and spend time with old friends.
9. I would volunteer doing something I loved. Maybe with animals. Maybe helping women in need. Maybe volunteering at a school.
10. I would busk.
11. I would sleep early every night.
12. I would travel and have adventures. I'd see gorillas. I'd climb obscure mountains and trek through obscure jungles. I might just visit a new city and do #2 (see above).
13. I would write a poem every single day and keep a journal.
14. I would explore new places close by. Maybe go on a road trip. Maybe just check out a neighbourhood in my city that I'd never seen before and imagine what sort of people would live in each house. Maybe I'd write little stories about them.
What would you do?
Here's what I would do:
1. I would spend at least a full day painting something beautiful. It wouldn't matter if it was good. I would just find the most beautiful thing I had ever seen - like a sunset over the ocean - and just let whatever came out of my paintbrush come.
2. I would spend part of every day in a different coffee shop. I would people watch and write and enjoy being on my own but not alone.
3. I would learn what I wanted to. No required classes that I wasn't interested in. I would just google the s*** out of anything and everything that interested me.
4. I would read all sorts of books and plays that I don't have time to read right now.
5. I would cook something amazing every other day and experiment (because, let's face it, every day would be exhausting).
6. I'd learn something new every day, like gardening or snowboarding or mountain climbing or cutting my own hair or making my own clothes.
7. I would go for long walks in parks and gardens. The world is too darn beautiful to ignore while in class or doing homework.
8. I would meet new people and spend time with old friends.
9. I would volunteer doing something I loved. Maybe with animals. Maybe helping women in need. Maybe volunteering at a school.
10. I would busk.
11. I would sleep early every night.
12. I would travel and have adventures. I'd see gorillas. I'd climb obscure mountains and trek through obscure jungles. I might just visit a new city and do #2 (see above).
13. I would write a poem every single day and keep a journal.
14. I would explore new places close by. Maybe go on a road trip. Maybe just check out a neighbourhood in my city that I'd never seen before and imagine what sort of people would live in each house. Maybe I'd write little stories about them.
What would you do?
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