It's so easy in our Western society to idolize celebrities, but when we think of them as people, sometimes it's harder to envy them. Can you imagine what it would be like to be swarmed by cameras everywhere you go and find lies about you on the cover of every other magazine?
If I were a celebrity and I couldn't be arrested, I would plan an elaborate plot to get back at the paparazzi. If you're a celebrity, take note:
1. I would call up every friend and family member who I thought would want to get in on my scheme.
2. I would get one of them to phone up the paparazzi anonymously to "tip them off" that I would be at a certain place doing something scandalous. Perhaps I would be drunk and driving naked through a park, for example.
3. The paparazzi would arrive with cameras and iPads and whatever else in tow, ready to pounce.
4. In fact, the paparazzi would be the ones being pounced. My posse would now jump out from behind the trees with hoses and water guns and water balloons and bombard those nosy people and their cameras.
5. A wizard of Oz style projection of my face would be projected over the woods to proclaim "Mind your own business!" and perhaps throw in an evil laugh or two.
6. The paparazzi would run away crying, thoroughly berated and hopefully carrying a lesson or two away with them.
What would you do?
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