Well, this is a bit late for my fellow Canadians and early for you Americans, but I thought that since this post is right in between the two Thanksgivings, it's really the best solution.
So, every year this is a holiday called Thanksgiving, which I personally like to call National Turkey Genocide Day (yes, I'm vegetarian, in case you're wondering). If I were a turkey, I would be living in mortal fear of the fall months, knowing that my time was drawing to a close. Really, it's quite tragic when you think of the amount of turkeys killed for one day, but I'll save you the long moral spiel.
Here is what I would do if I were a turkey during this time of year and had the brains to know what was going on:
1. Let the fact that people are planning my imminent death sink in. Perhaps this will include some panic attacks, tears, or huge philosophical turkey thoughts.
2. Decide to do something about it. How about a nice escape plot?
3. Gather my fellow turkeys and brainstorm.
4. Attack the farmers in a mob. I would like to avoid bloodshed but desperate times may call for desperate measures. Hopefully I can knock them out and leave them without any further harm.
5. Scurry/fly away or whatever it is us turkeys do to move.
6. Hide out in the countryside.
7. Migrate to Europe or the North Pole. In Europe, I would probably be safe until Christmas (ish). In the North Pole, I could demand Santa's protection. This guy gives children presents for free every year. Try to tell me that he wouldn't offer turkeys sanctuary. Otherwise, maybe I'd find people from PETA. I'm pretty sure they would protect me with torches and pitchforks if need be.
8. Live out the remainder of my life in piece, flourishing and providing many offspring who would also live in turkey peace.
9. Throughout my turkey life, perhaps help other victims escape farm life, or else become a loud advocate for turkey rights.
-Laura
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