What I Would do if I Was School Principal For a Day

Did your school have something like this?
I hear tell of wondrous schools in which "Principal for a Day" actually exists. Now, I don't quite know the rules and restrictions for this position, as my school never had this. Although, the fact that I know so little about being school principal for a day is actually a good thing; I don't know the rules, and so I can make them up. In this scenario, there are no rules. I'm also going to assume for this exercise that the authorities, government and Edmonton school board have been payed off and so will allow this. Now without further ado:

1. First things first, I would give a salary to students. It has long seemed unfair to me that teachers get paid good money for sitting at their computers, while the students they assign hours of work to don't get a cent. This money for the students would, of course, come out of my least favourite teacher's pocket.
2. After announcing that the students would get paid, I would hold elections for who would be the principal for the rest of the year. The students would then be able to vote for either me or the old principal. Of course, with me giving them money and my winning personality :), all of the students would vote for me. Oh, okay, maybe some kids who actually wanted a decent education would vote for the regular principal. But those would be the minority, and I could just give them half the salary everyone else was earning as punishment.
3. I would implement a plan that I've been cooking up for years. What is this plan, you ask? Well, I like to call it the "We All Have Our Bad Days" plan, and it would be implemented immediately. Now here's what it's all about.
First of all, you know how you sometimes have those days when you just really, really don't want to go to school? Well, with this plan you don't have to. Basically, we'll have one teacher for every 1.05 students at the school, who would all stay at the school, every day, until five pm. All of them would be trained in every field that a student needed to learn.
With all these teachers around at all times, there will be one for every student at any given time. Therefore, any student can now just drop in to school whenever they like, and they'll have a teacher ready to teach them.
Imagine it! You wake up at 9:00. No worries, you don't have to go to school at any given time. You just get ready for school and go when you feel like it, and there will be a teacher waiting to teach you. And if you don't feel like going at all? No problem! Just go another day.
"But wait," I hear those of you who still follow me cry, "Why can't a student just skip school completely, if they don't have to be there at any given day or time?"
Well you see, a student still has to log a certain amount of hours at school every year. If you skip a day, then you'll have to make up for that time by staying later one day, or going on the weekends. You still go to school, you just get to switch around your days. You could also take any of your classes in any particular order, and for as long as you wanted, as long as you did the required amount of hours in that subject and all other subjects.
And the great thing about all this is, students will actually spend more time at school! If you're to sick to go to school on a regular schedule, you miss the day. With this new plan you can take the day off, but you'll have to make that time up later. Same goes for vacations in the middle of the school year.
See, it's genius. If only they could program a couple hundred robots for every school, that dream might become reality. Alas, no one else seems to agree with me that this would be a good idea...

And you know what? I think I'm out of time. I keep a bit of a limit on the length of my posts, and I think I've almost exceeded it here. Therefore, watch for a "What I Would do if I Was School Principal For a Day #2!"

Thanks for reading,

-Mark