What I Would do if I Was Trying to Write This Post Really Sneakily

Hey. Hey you, random internet surfer. Come over here. Quietly, now... we don't want anyone to hear us.
I just wanted to tell you... it's late. Very late. I'm not sure I'll be able to finish my NaNoWriMo word count goal and this post before the clock ticks past midnight, so... wish me luck.
The problem with all this is, my parents don't know I'm still up. I'm supposed to be asleep. So I'll have to do this super sneakily. Seeing as I'm out of ideas, I've decided to take you along on this journey with me. So here we go...

1. Let's start our journey. You are writing in bed. Imagine that every time you hit a key, the sound echoes through the darkness. Therefore, you have to hit every... key... very... lightly. You can't let sound get out, so you pray for...
2. The washing machine. If it's still running at this time of the night, then you have a perfect sound barrier. Unfortunately... it just turned off. The radiator is off, as well.
3. You are trying to half lie down in bed as you write while still keeping your head propped up. This way, if someone does walk in on you, you can slam shut the laptop and pretend to be asleep.
4. The laptop light level is already turned to the lowest setting, by the way. Which is still painfully bright.
5. To save on time and sound, you cut editing down. Sorry. Also,
5. You cut the post short. The less sound the better, guys. Next time it'll be better, I promise!

Thanks for reading and goodnight,

-Mark