Technically, according to my computer, it may now be November 1st. However, in honour of Halloween, which hasn't really ended until I go to bed in my mind, the first plot I will impart upon you is a plot as sneaky and creepy as this holiday.
On Halloween, if I could, I would pelt everyone who came to my door with strange objects (such as rocks, cat litter, dirty socks, etc.) until they fled, dropping their candy in the process. Then, not wanting the candy to go to waste, I would eat said candy.
Let's face it, Halloween is fun when you're a kid. Who doesn't want to get a truckload of free candy in the span of one night? Who doesn't want to dress up as one's idol or favourite quirky character?
However, once you reach a certain age, the novelty wears off. Now, instead of being the receivers of this marvellous bounty of cavity-inducing goodness, you become the one who must cough up the money to buy candy for children (and adults who think they can actually fool you by wearing a mask or a sheet to hide the fact that they're in their mid-twenties).
In short, Halloween is no longer fun, and you become similar to the Halloween version of the Grinch.
As a Halloween-Grinch, you are thus obligated to come up with an evil scheme.
Mine is pretty solid, I think. If it were socially acceptable and not horribly mean, I would pelt anyone who dared approach my home with anything that would cause them to drop their bounty, and I would then enjoy it for the next year (or at least week).
Happy Halloween!
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