What I Would do if Boxer Man Broke into my Bedroom

In honour of the latest Dalhousie security alert, I decided to plan ahead.

I think that either last year or the year before women at Dal or around Dal had a problem with this guy in boxers breaking into their houses and watching them sleep. Creepy, right? Anyway, it appears that this man has returned - if the latest security bulletin can be believed - and we're all feeling delectably safe. I told my best friend here that since her roommate never seems to lock the door and her bedroom door is easily pickable, she should just put marbles in front of the door every night and trip up the intruder. However, that's not what I would do. I seriously doubt that this guy could get into my house, but here will be my joking planning ahead (while hoping that I won't be jinxed by this):

1. I would scream. Well, I would mezzo-scream, so basically just make some weird strangled noise.

2. Then I would start singing the bed intruder song, because this whole situation makes me think of it:

3. Then I would call the police, if I didn't murder him myself first. Okay, just kidding, I wouldn't murder her. But I might lock him in the cage in my basement (that's a story for another time... I'm not a serial killer, I swear).

At least he doesn't actually appear to be a rapist so far... I guess he just likes watching women sleep?

Either way, thank you, Halifax, for making me feel oh-so-safe.

-Laura