What I Would do if I Discussed One Pathetically Incorrect Life Philosophy

I had trouble titling this one. There are many pathetically incorrect life philosophies, such as believing yourself better than someone else due to race, sexual orientation, amount of possessions, etc. or perhaps believing that one can survive solely on sunlight like a plant (yes, this philosophy exists - newsflash: people are incapable of photosynthesis). Perhaps I can discuss these another time.

For now, the philosophy on the chopping block is...

That you can "choose" to be happy. 

Don't get me wrong; attitude is important. However, as someone who struggles with severe depression, this idea on so many self-help articles makes my blood boil. Because, frankly, happiness isn't a choice. If it was, do you think I'd be stuffing pills down my throat to keep myself from offing myself? I don't choose depression. No one chooses depression. 

Saying that you can choose to be happy or unhappy is yet another idea that fuels this stigma against mental health. It promotes the idea that depressed people are lazy, attention-seeking, or inherently flawed. 

When I open my mind, I can see what they're trying to say: "Fake it 'til you make it". Positivity will improve situations! And sure, I agree with that, but phrase it a different way. Say to stay open to new experiences and avoid self-fulfilling prophecies. However, frankly, saying you need to "choose to be happy" is pretty insulting. I don't know if it works that way for those of you who don't have depression, but I can think happy thoughts until the cows come home and it's not going to fix my problems. I can say "I'm going to be happy today!", and it will do squat.

Imagine that you're in this trapped in a dark cave. We'll call this cave "depression". Now, let's choose an object for happy thoughts: bubbles! Bubbles are happy! So, every time you think a happy thought, or "decide" to be happy, it sends off a bubble. Does it destroy the stone cave? Hell, no. It just makes you discouraged. That's a pretty obvious metaphor, so I'm hoping even people who have never experienced depression can understand this. And please, don't say that they're different situations. I'm giving you the information of an insider. Blowing bubbles to burst open a rock cave is as pointless as "choosing" to be happy when you have depression.

No, I can't choose to be happy. Stop telling me that I can! It makes me - and I'm sure other depressed people - feel as though I'm even more deficient in some way. However, do try to be positive if you can.

-Laura