What I Would do if Every Time I Sneezed, I Could Speak a New Language

Regrettably, I have to say that this prompt comes from my sister (who got it from her boyfriend). Thus, the credit goes to her!

The rule is that every time I sneeze, I suddenly become fluent in one new language. Here's the catch, though: I can only speak this random new language. 

Here is what I would do:

1. Stock up on allergy medication. I would go home to Edmonton and switch languages every ten seconds because of cat allergies. The summer would also be problematic, since I apparently have an allergy to grass, of all things. Lawnmowers are the bane of my existence. Anyway, point being, I would need to prevent sneezing at all costs. 

2. While I was fluent in a current language, I would read books and poems in their original language to understand subtleties of the language that are lost in translation. I would also go through all of my foreign language music and understand it without IPA. Not having to memorize whether a vowel is closed or open would save me a lot of time, let me tell you! That's assuming that the languages I got hit by were opera languages...

3. Write poetry in millions of languages and feel extra smart. 

4. Travel to a country with my new language and not feel as much like a tourist (assuming I could keep from sneezing on my trip). 

Beyond that, I'm not really sure. Of course, I would love to learn languages, but I wouldn't want to lose my English. Of course, I am biased, but I love my language. I would just want to add new languages onto what I already know. I feel like losing your language constantly would be very lonely. How would you maintain friendships? In other words, I would hate this situation. 

I guess I'll just have to learn languages the hard way!

-Laura