Before we begin, I wanted to express to you my shame.
Yesterday, less then a week after triumphantly finishing my punishment for missing a blog post, I didn't post once again. I'd promised myself that I'd never have to go through one of Laura's punishments again, and yet here I am.
In an attempt to avoid Laura's wrath, I'll be writing two posts today. Something tells me that this strategy won't work, but it's worth a shot.
I'm writing this after having just left home yesterday to drive to Canmore for the May long weekend. As much as I do love these trips, I was sad to leave behind my families cat, Oliver.
Ollie is an affectionate, loving cat who's just past middle age in cat years. His naturally grey fur has just recently began to show touches of old-age grey, and he's been becoming more placid in his older years. Still he remains an amazing addition to the Jones family.
Oftentimes, seeing Ollie bask in the sun or by the radiator, I've wished that I, too, was a cat. They go through life carefree and pampered, with a host of humans to care for their every need. What more could you want? That's the inspiration for todays post. Let's get to it now.
1. It seems that the thing cats love to do most is sleep. As it turns out, they do spend at least two-thirds of their lives sleeping. Knowing this, the idea of becoming a cat becomes all the more appealing to me. Teenagers love sleep, despite never allowing themselves to do so. Cats also love sleep. It's perfect.
2. Being an owner of a cat, I'm often kept busy giving Ollie a lap, letting him in or out, playing with him, feeding him, and doing all those other things that are demanded of a cat's slave. If I was a cat, then of course I'd flaunt my power when it came to my petty servants. For example, I'd demand to be played with for at least half an hour per day. If my owners didn't take out a string for me at least that often, then I'd begin to systematically destroy all of the furniture in the house. The same would go for meals. I'd demand not only lots of food whenever I wanted it, but variety and quality as well. So, my slaves want to give me the same brand of plain dry food every day, do they? That wouldn't fly with me. I'd want at least a dozen different types of food served to me, and all of it would have to be freshly opened. Mark the cat would live in luxury.
3. To supplement my diet further, I'd enjoy hunting birds and squirrels. As a human I'd never do such a thing, but as a cat I'd undoubtably relish the challenge. I'd be the most renowned hunter in all of catville.
4. Have you ever read those books about cats living in their own societies within the neighbourhood? In the book Cat and the Stinkwater War, for example, a young girl turns into a cat and finds that on her street there are two rival gangs of felines who are warring over a sardine. Weird, yes, but also an entertaining read.
Reading books such as that, you cannot help but wonder whether or not cats do go and chill together when you're not looking. If I could become a cat, I'd definitely want to start some clubs with my cat friends. We'd be a cat gang, wearing squirrel-fur coats and headbands. We could call ourselves the meovvers, or the kitteez. Something cool like that. Me and my cat gang would be quite literally the coolest cats on the block.
Cats are indeed wonderful creatures. True, they can be demanding at times. I'll admit that I've wished on a few occasions that cats could do some of the things that dogs do. In the end, though, I wouldn't want any animal other then a cat. Would I actually want to be a cat? No. Do I love them deeply? Of course, and I always will. So I'll see you in a few days, Ollie. Dream of cat gangs and catching all the mice.
Thanks for reading,
-Mark
No comments:
Post a Comment