The month before I turned fifteen, I climbed Mount Kilimanjaro. That climb took six days (and those were probably the best six days of my life), but that's a story for another time. The point of mentioning that was to say that I spent a few days on safari in Tanzania before heading home, which was my first encounter with gazelles.
So, what I can tell you about gazelles? Well, one thing really comes to mind first; they are, no joke, the stupidest things you will ever see. Whenever they see something dangerous like a lion, they actually are too curious to run away. They just wander on over and only decide to run if the predator starts chasing them. And safari vehicles? They run in a straight line directly in front of them, when they could easily just, you know, run to the left or right and out of the direct path of the vehicle. Conclusion: gazelles are adorable, but also dumb as bricks.
This is their stock expression:
"Oh, hello, are you a lion?"
"Hello, humans!"
"Look, a volcano!"
"Look, the end of the world!"
You can see it now, can't you? Dumb as a brick.
With that teeny bit of context, I can now tell you exactly what I would do as a gazelle:
1. Die. Yes, there is something truly honourable about believing that you can befriend something that views you as dinner (although whether there is actually any thought process behind approaching lions is debatable). Yes, curiosity can be a wonderful thing. However, I imagine that nothing with such an idiotic expression and blatant lack of logic could survive for long on the savannah. Assuming that I had gazelle brains, I imagine that I would die long before I turned old in addition to brainless. Fortunately, I would at least have the consolation of knowing that I was extremely cute before I died and likely provided tourists with excellent photos of me both living and as a lion's lunch.
-Laura
No comments:
Post a Comment