What I Would Do if Nobody Would Judge Me

When it comes down to it, almost nobody on this earth has the guts to throw their hands in the air and decide that they no longer care what other people think.

I often wonder if the reason we do anything is to look better in the eyes of others. I personally can vouch for this. My life goal is probably to be remembered after I die, and to do that, I'd need to affect a lot of peoples lives. I'd feel too guilty if I was remembered for making people miserable, so instead I want to help people. To please people. So in the end, my goal in life boils down to pleasing other people.
Now, on one hand I think that trying to please others is a good thing. If everyone tried to be kind to everybody, then I think that the world would be a pretty awesome place. The problem is, you simply can't do that.
And besides, if everything we do is so that other people will be pleased by our actions, then where is the room for trying new, unconventional things?

If I could convince myself that I didn't care at all about what other people thought, then this is what I would do.

1. Spend my time doing what I wanted to do with it. If I felt like running on the treadmill, then by golly I'd run on the treadmill. If I felt like learning what the government wanted me to learn, then I'd go to school. If I wanted to try out some crazy, out-there sleep schedule, then I'd do so. I'd spend my time doing what I wanted to do, whether or not other people thought that it was "proper" or "productive."

2. Seeing as I'd no longer feel obliged to go to school, I'd instead spend my time learning what I wanted to learn. It seems to me that it's a mistake to make every kid in any given province or country learn more or less the same material. This I think just encourages every kid to have a similar way of thinking, and society shouldn't want that. Instead, don't we want to have kids choosing most of their courses to encourage new, innovative ways of thinking? People only get to diverge majorly in their studies when they get to good 'ol university. Ageism!
3. I'd work to get really, really good at something. Even if I needed alone time to do so, even if I needed to crouch in a cave while toiling over one skill or another, I'd master that skill. Goodbye, family. I don't care about you anymore.

All of us are restricted by the fear of being judged by society. That's a problem in todays world; everyone automatically thinks something about somebody the moment they see or hear about them. I don't think we can stop judgement... but I think I know why it occurs. Perhaps the reason we judge is simply because we don't understand other people. Personally, people baffle me. I don't truly understand what makes anyone tick. I certainly don't think that many people on this earth honestly know how I work, either. I don't even know how I work. I mean sure, I'm driven by sugary candy, but there's more to me! I swear!
I think I'll just take a moment here to give a quick shoutout to my sisters. Out of anyone in the world, they are most certainly those who know the most about how I work, even if we can never truly understand each other. Sometimes it can seem like absolutely nobody in this world quite knows you, and it can feel like you're alone. It's nice to know that at least some people begin to understand :).
Damn it, I'm overtired. I'm swear, I'm tearing up over here. As flat as I'm sure this reads, I am. So thanks, Julia and Laura. You gals rock.

Thanks for reading,

-Mark