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Friday, 13 March 2015

What I Would Do If I Were in a Harry Potter Computer Game

Harry Potter computer games were a big part of my childhood. And by that, I mean that large parts of my weekends would be spent barricaded in the attic with my eyes glued to the computer screen, trying my best to save the Philosopher's Stone/get out of the Chamber of Secrets alive/travel back in time without being eaten by a werewolf. I only mention the first three games because even though I look back now and see how terrible the graphics were, I had so much fun exploring Hogwarts, collecting goodies, and pretending that I lived in the wizarding world for a few hours (ok, who am I kidding, I pretended that I lived in the wizarding world all the time). Plus when the graphics actually improved in game four, the gameplay became so much less fun.

So anyway, if I could magically transport myself into any of the first three Harry Potter games, this is what I would do:

1. I would spend most of my time running around the castle collecting Bertie Bott's beans, cauldron cakes, pumpkin pasties, and other goodies. To avoid getting fat from all of the sweets, I would then trade them all to Fred and George for wizard cards (ok, I might eat one or two ... plus all of the running and jumping around the castle would probably burn a few calories).

2. I would be the perfect student and collect all of the challenge stars, just so that I could go to the BONUS BEAN ROOM!

3. I would totally volunteer to do the challenge in Lupin's class before any of the other students had the chance, because who doesn't want to transform themselves into a dragon or a bunny?

4. I would avoid Malfoy and Peeves like the plague, because they carry firecrackers THAT CAN KILL YOU. Seriously, how do the teachers allow students and poltergeists to carry around lethal firecrackers that they can just throw at unsuspecting students?

5. I would find myself a gnome and carry it with me wherever I went.

6. I would buy a shit ton of flobberworm mucus and wiggentree bark in order to have at least 50 healing potions on me at all times ... you never know when you might run into a giant spider/firecracker-wielding arch-enemy/venomous tentacula/poisonous snail.

7. I would find myself a broom and get myself down to the quidditch pitch, because quidditch seems to be fairly low-risk in the Harry Potter games ... when you lose, you can just replay the level as many times as you want and the loss is forgotten forever!

8. I would fly Buckbeak all the time, just for the music and to hear the amusing thud every time he crashed into something.

9. I would kick ass at the duelling club. Seriously, the other students are GOING DOWN.

10. I would jump off the top floor of the castle to hear Harry (myself?) say "WHOOOOOOAAAAAA-ooooooooo-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-ooooooo" and best of all, I wouldn't die!

- JJ


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1 comment:

  1. Unknown21 April 2015 at 20:12

    I don't know how I missed this post previously, but I have to say that I was nodding along to practically everything you said in this one. Especially the bean room and the gnomes! I remember you and Laura grabbing those ugly things at the beginning of one of Lockheart's challenges, and then carrying and throwing them around for the next ten minutes as you battled the fire crabs and jumped across that huge pit of death. I even had a dream about that random pit in the Lockheart challenge; I fell into it, plummeted about 100 meters downwards, hit the ground, then stood up and brushed myself off. Even my dreams follow the "you-don't-die-because-of-falling" rule!
    I remember watching you play that game for hours. I remember climbing up to the seventh level, which ironically was the hospital wing, and then jumping down, down, down. I remember the polyjuice potion that you could take to make Harry sound like a doofus. It was brilliant.
    Good times, sis. Good times.

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