What I Would do if There were a Zombie Apocalypse

*For the purpose of this post, we're going to assume that I'm in Edmonton when the apocalypse begins.

Imagine this.

You're at home, folding laundry or doing whatever it is you do and listening to the radio because, let's face it, chores are boring. Suddenly, to your amazement, you hear that there is a real zombie apocalypse happening, and you need to escape! You're skeptical at first, but google reveals your worst fears... there is, in fact, an apocalypse, and you need to act now. Here's what I would do:

1. Gather my family together (they're all at home) and assign them jobs. Mark, you find any weapons or potential weapons in the house, including corrosive cleaners. Mom, load the first aid kit, medicine, and blankets/pillows in the car. Julia, you catch the cat and gather up his stuff (no, I am not leaving Ollie to the zombies) and pack all food and cooking supplies (Mom and Mark will help once you're done). Me, I'm going to knock out Dad and carry him to the car, because there's no way that he's going to believe that there's really an apocalypse happening (sorry, Dad). I'll also contact my friends and tell them to get out! We'll also have about 5 minutes to do our personal packing, including clothes, shoes, any small sentimental items, etc. But we are getting out of that house in about 15 minutes.

2. We get into the van and get out of the city ASAP. We'll have one driver, and the rest of us are in charge of killing any zombies that dare approach the car. Hopefully, the traffic won't be too horrible yet since we packed so quickly, but it's hard to say.

3. We drive to the Rockies. On our way, if we possibly can, we'll stop at a store to get more supplies including weapons, food, water, purifiers, soap, basic necessities, gas, etc. Hopefully, the zombies won't have reached less large cities yes. 

4. We find a mountain that is high enough to have good sight lines. Hopefully, we can drive far into a remote national park (maybe drive to the start of Mount Robson?). We climb said mountain with our supplies. We'll have to make a couple of trips, yes, but hopefully it will pay off. On the mountain, we'll hopefully be able to find a cave or some sort of shelter in a remote spot, clearly off of the trail and near a water source. 

5. We create a camp way up high here so that we have a good view of any zombies that may be coming. I'll have texted my friends, and those that escaped will meet us here with their supplies as well. The area will be so remote that we should be safe for at least a significant amount of time, hopefully even forever. There will be few people around here, and they likely won't be infected yet. It's a difficult climb, so you'd have to be a coordinated and determined zombie to reach us. We could plant some vegetables, but hopefully we have enough food to last for a while. Hopefully, we'll be near the top of a scree slope, so climbing it would be difficult if you were undead. Plus, our sight lines are ideal.

And this, my friends, is how to survive a zombie apocalypse. You're welcome.

-Laura