What I Would do if I Could Live for 200 Years

Human technology is always advancing. We've discovered exactly how much of what improves bodily function, new machines that can extend human life, and ways to make your body fitter and stronger then ever before. The max human lifespan, my friends, may be extending- in fact, some people are saying that the first human to live to 200 years old may already have been born. Well, actually, they may have been born over fifteen years ago, because I first heard this news from an old National Geographic Kids magazine published in 1990-something. Anyway, I've been wondering lately. What would I do if I lived to 200 years? I feel like I need to make a plan. And so, self, if you're 60 years old and have just learned that you're going to live to be 200, come over here. Your 14-year-old self has made a plan for the rest of your life...

Age 0-mid 20's; Go to school and get good grades. Write. Edit. Take some courses in college. Easy enough.
Age 20-something to 40; Write stuff for a living. Write a couple bestsellers, self. I'm counting on you to make me rich and famous.
Age 40-50; Retire. You've worked hard! Without any pressure to make money, go and live you're dream to be a professional ping-pong player.
Age 50-75; Okay, now your money has run out, and now the pressure is on to make money as a ping-pong player. Put your ten years of no-pressure ping-pong playing to good use.
Age 75-80; Retire again and spend some time with your grandkids. You'll be a cool grandfather, though- you'll still be fairly spry at this point, and can do all sorts of things with your grandkids. Remember, you feel physically like a 40 year old, even if you are 80.
80-81; Become a youtube star.
81-90; By now you've failed at becoming a youtube star. Instead, try to make a career in trampolining.
90-100; While you're body is still in great condition, pursue a career in Skiing.
100-140; By now, every last bit of your cash has been drained due to only moderate success in sports. Go to work as a journalist or an editor. Write novels on the side.
140-150; Build a hut in the mountains and live in complete isolation from the rest of the world. This will make for a great reality TV show where dozens of Cameramen can live with you and keep you from getting lonely.
150-155; Join the military and see how they do things.
155-165; Write a couple bestsellers and become rich once more.
165-180; Use that money to build yourself your own personal rocket ship. Travel to the ISS on weekends.
180-190; Crunch time. Work like crazy to tick off every item on your bucket list. Also, travel the world.
190-200; Say good bye to your kids, grandkids, great-grandkids, great-great-grandkids, and everyone else. Then climb into your rocket ship and set sail for Pluto.
200; After a final intergalactic FaceTime with your friends and family, get on your space suit and be the first human to set foot on Pluto. It had to be pluto- all the other planets around have already been colonized. Step out into the freezing cold environment, and look back on your life just before Pluto freezes you to death.

And there you go, future self! Your life plan.
I'm especially exited for my space travel. Weightlessness would be pretty cool, huh?
Oh! I forgot to mention! I'll keep blogging on this blog my entire life. It might get slightly repetitive after 150 years or so, but oh well. You with me, sis?

Thanks for reading,

-Mark