What I Would do if I Could Eliminate One Holiday

Yes, we've reached this point. I'm asking myself the tough questions.

I love many holidays. Sort of. Especially the ones that get us vacation days. However, as I may have mentioned earlier, there are two holidays that make my blacklist of Scrooge-ness:

An accurate representation of me during Halloween nowadays

1. Halloween - the day on which teachers assign homework for November 1st or you have to go to work on November 1st, and no one seems to fully understand how disruptive it is to have strangers ringing your doorbell all night. Yeah, that's right, no day off of school/work/whatever. Plus, people abuse black cats, people get pissed at older looking children who trick-or-treat, and you're forced to dish out money that you don't have to keep children from pranking you. Halloween is fun when you're a kid, but once you get past the trick-or-treating stage? What a nightmare! And don't even get me started on the obligatory dressing up and having to think of some sort of original costume every year. And the parties?! I hate parties. It's an introvert thing, perhaps. I hate going to them and being in crowds of drunk people. I hate being kept awake by them.
Plus side? Discount candy.


2. Valentine's Day - a day I hated even while in a relationship. When you're out of a relationship, you're expected to feel crummy because you aren't tied down to another human being. Usually, you do feel crummy. It should really be called "rub not having a relationship in every single person's face" day. Now, onto relationships. God, being in a relationship on Valentine's Day is horrible. You're exposed to all sorts of irritating, cheesy clichés. You have to break your bank account to get sufficiently cheesy things for your partner. Your partner tends to embarrass you in front of the entire world doing irritating, cheesy PDA things. Oh, God, don't get me started on the PDA. And, of course, you get no days off for this abomination either. Plus side? Discount candy.



Thanksgiving almost made this list just for the turkey genocide, but I do enjoy the family time I get. And, you know, the actual day off.

So, how does one choose between the two worst holidays and choose which to eradicate? Both get you discount candy, so their good points cancel each other out. That's why this has left the field of logic and has become personal. I'm going with my gut on which one to cut, and I'm cutting:

Valentine's Day!

Come on. If you love someone, show it to them on a random day. Don't make the single people feel worthless. Don't make recently broken up people miserable. Don't make people in relationships want to break up. Don't make everyone break their bank accounts. If people are in a happy relationship, they already have reason to celebrate (isn't that what anniversaries are for, anyway?). If they aren't, let them be.

Halloween may stay, ONLY because of the joy it brings the children. And the discount candy it brings me.

-Laura (and my dear friend, Grumpy Cat)

P.S. Mark owes me at least one punishment by now. I gave him a few grace days, after all! So, Mark, this time, my punishment is...

Drumroll...

You have to sing for me when I come home! At least one song. Properly. :)