Today, I felt like giving myself a bit of a blogging break, so I'm going to play "would you rather", one of my favourite games. If you want to play along, here you are:
http://www.buzzfeed.com/spenceralthouse/give-up-cheese-or-give-up-oral-sex#.dfWxEl1w0
Alright, first question. This quiz promises that these questions are impossible to answer, and, so far, I have to agree that this one is pretty tough. Would I rather continually smell like poo to others or continually smell poo that no one else can smell? Well, I guess this boils down to whether or not I care more about my personal comfort or about my public image. I hate to be a jerk and not care about others in this situation, but couldn't I wear perfume or something? If I always smelled poo, I think people would find it weird that I was constantly gagging. I'd hope I'd get used to it, but from visiting waste treatment plants as a kid, I can safely say that it never got any better. I'm pretty sensitive to smells and gag easily. So, I'd rather not vomit constantly. Anyway, if I smelled like poo and couldn't tell that I did, at least I might finally achieve my dream of hermitage.
Would I rather eat only roadkill for the rest of my life or have everyone else sound like Gilbert Gottfried? Well, I had to look up what he sounds like. Yes, his voice is annoying, but this question was still easy. I'm a vegetarian. I won't eat meat, even if someone murdered it with a car instead of whatever sharp object people use in slaughterhouses. Though, really, I'd think non-vegetarians shouldn't have an issue eating roadkill. It's more or less the same thing as what they already do. Also, I'm considering speech therapy as a career, and think how many clients I would have if everyone spoke like that! Plus, I'd feel like I had a great voice in comparison to the rest of the world.
Would I rather have tastebuds on my butthole or poo through my mouth? Charming. Definitely number one. Considering how terrible vomiting is, I don't really want anything else terrible coming out that way.
Would I rather always have to say everything that's on my mind or never be able to speak again? Another easy one. I would like to speak, please. Perhaps always being forced to tell the truth would actually be a good thing. The root of most problems seems to be a lack of communication, and honesty could actually be a very good thing. Maybe it would keep us from acting in a way that requires us to lie. So, yes, I would like to speak. Although, technically, I could get around this question by never speaking again and just singing everything...
Would I rather be itchy or sticky for the rest of my life? Again, I found this one pretty easy. I hate the feeling of being sticky. It's so disgusting. I'd much rather be itchy and get the relief from scratching. What relief would there be to eternal stickiness? Gross!
Would I rather eat a bowl of vomit or lick a hobo's foot? Again, easy. Lick the foot. Dirt can't be that harmful, right?
Would you rather go through life with a perpetual coldsore on your mouth or booger hanging from your nose? Okay, slightly harder. I'd probably choose the coldsore, though, because I find that less disgusting. The booger would probably set off my gagging (again, it's not hard).
Number 8: would you rather watch your parents have sex every day for the rest of your life or join in once to stop it? See my last post with a "would you rather" quiz; I already answered and my answer is the same!
Would you rather smell like eggs when you burp or have a green cloud appear when you fart? Oh, this one is more difficult. However, I suppose there's still the hope that the eggs smell good, like scrambled eggs? Either way, the source is less determinable, and I pretty much never burp. So, option A it is.
Would you rather have the hiccups for the rest of your life or always feel like you have to sneeze without being able to? Oh, gosh. This one actually is hard. I think I would choose hiccups, though. Yes, it would be really annoying. Yes, it would be hard to sing or sleep or really relax. However, the feeling of not being able to sneeze is horrible, and there would be no relief! So, I have to go with the hiccup option.
Would you rather only be able to listen to Nickelback songs or reread all 56 pages of the iTunes terms and conditions every day for the rest of your life? I don't think Nickelback is as terrible as everyone seems to think, especially considering the other crap people seem to think passes as music. However, that being said, I don't think I could give up the large variety of beautiful songs in the world for such a small selection of songs. I think I would waste my life quickly reading those terms and conditions.
Would you rather live like a king but have no friends and family, or be homeless with your friends and family? Easy, easy. I'd be homeless with my friends and family. I love them too much to give them up, even for all the riches of a king. I think we could have fun in any situation if we were together. That being said, I think we may need to move to a warmer climate...
Would you rather eat a potato and feel its pain, or be a potato? I'd rather be a potato. Who knows? It could be enlightening. Or, alternatively, I could have no consciousness at all. Either way, I wouldn't have to feel the pain and suffering of something else. So, yeah, I'd be a potato.
Would you rather have vaginas for ears or penises for fingers? Weird, weird question. However, I think I like my fingers. Maybe it's because I'm a woman, but I didn't even have to think about this question. Vaginas for ears please. However, I would rather not have a period from my ears. I'm hoping that isn't part of this choice. Still, vaginas for ears wins.
Fifteen: a goat-sex question that I answered in my previous post like this one. Again, see that if you're curious.
Would you rather pry off your thumbnail with a fork, or put a toothpick under your toenail and kick a wall? Oh my God, who thinks of these questions? Gross! Still, thumbnail with a fork is drawn out, and kicking the wall is quick. I'll take the quick one, please! Plus, they didn't specify that I would have to kick with my toe, so maybe I'll kick the wall with my heel, or the bottom or top of my foot.
Would you rather know when you're going to die or how you're going to die? Another simple one. I would rather know when I'm going to die. That way I can be prepared and make the most of the time I have, rather than living with major paranoia.
They called this quiz impossible, but only a couple of these questions were actually really difficult. Come on, Buzzfeed! Step it up a notch!
-Laura
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