What I Would Do if I Urban Dictionaried Myself

Ah, urban dictionary. I love you.
Tonight, studying science with Julia, I suggested that we look our names up on urban dictionary for some entertainment. Now, I've done this before, but I'd never looked too deeply into the urban dictionary files on "Mark." Tonight, I took that extra step. Here are some of the gems I found.

• The most sexy, erotic, flirtacious, hot stuff, bootylicious four-letter word you'll ever see... If you take the Mark out of supermarket you're left with superet and that's pretty stupid 'cause why would you go out to the superet, it makes no sense... It's definately the coolest four-letter name you'll ever see because if you spell it frontwards and backwards, it's different! 
• An easy target, or sucker.
• To be named as a potential victim for future criminal activities.
• Mark is a walking god... he has a slong like a black man down to his knees.
• A very hot guy nice and very funny. He also has a very long penis.
• One who is a BAD ASS MOTHA FUCKA. (Example; You're such a Mark for banging my mom AND my sister!)
• If he loves you, you'll know it. But good luck trying to get his attention if he doesn't. Especially if you're a dirty whore. And if he already loves someone else, just quit LOL.
• Total asshole, complete douchebag, and biggest dickhead you'll ever meet--but if you can make one love you--they can be the sweetest person you ever had or ever will meet.
• A weird hybrid of a bully and a nerd.
• The whitest black person you will ever meet.

Well.

Clearly, the other Mark's in the world have been making a name for themselves. I'm not quite sure that I can live up to those BAD ASS MOTHA FUCKA standards... Seriously though, urban dictionary is amazing. I could only show you a fraction of what I found there, and all of the above comments were heavily trimmed down. That really weird one about Mark's being sweethearts and assholes simultaneously rambled on for quite a few paragraphs, for example. On top of that, the spelling, capitalization and grammer was atrocious, and I just couldn't stand leaving it that way and so made some minor edits.

Still, I think that you've got a good taste of what urban dictionary's all about, and perhaps a better understanding of who I am through those definitions.

Now, Laura, I challenge you! By this time tomorrow, I'd like to see what urban dictionary has to say about your name!

Thanks for reading,

-Mark