What I Would do if I Was Eighteen Years Old Right Now

It's a common thought for all of us; what would I do if I was older/younger right now? Well, today we're going to imagine that I, fourteen year old Mark, suddenly am 18 years of age. Perhaps I've gone into a coma for all this time, or was abducted by aliens. What would I do, you ask? Well, you've come to the right place...

1. I would cry. Almost four years of my life just vanished in the blink of an eye? Uh-uh, not feeling it.

2. I would go and get my drivers license, then drive to the bulk barn and drown my sorrows in chocolate covered pretzels. The great thing is, I can eat these things again- no more braces by the time I'm 18.

3. I'd get a job. After all, the money for those pretzels has to come from somewhere.

4. I'd go outside and run. I like running now, and I can only hope that my eighteen year old body is faster and stronger then my 14 year old body. I'd want to see how fast and how far I can go.

5. "Why haven't you gone drinking yet," I hear you cry. Well, I've had exactly two sips of alcohol in my lifetime, and those sips were hell. Seriously, I have no idea why adults drink wine and beer. They're disgusting! My theory is that they like to look all sophisticated, and so they convince themselves that they like the taste. And so maybe I'd try a sip of wine just to see if my opinions have changed with age, but then I'd probably give it up.

6. I'd explore the world four years from now and marvel in the (hopefully) new and wonderful technology. I'd also phone every one of my friends and relatives to see if they were still alive.

7. I'd also check to see who won the 2014 world chess championship. And the women's world cup. And all the other major sports tournaments.

8. I'd write a book entitled "In the Blink of an Eye" chronicling my experiences being reintegrated back into society after my traumatic incident in which I went into a four-year coma. This would, of course, become a best seller.

And that is honestly all I would want to do if I was suddenly eighteen years old. It seems that once you get to be eighteen, you have to go to university and work, and I don't really want to do any of those things right now. So take that, world! I'm in the mere five percent of the world's population that wouldn't want to be any other age then I am now. Boo-yeah!

Thanks for reading,

-Mark