What I Would do to Stop Global Warming

I'm sorry! What with me being in Chicago, I rather lost track of time and completely missed my day for blogging. Today's post, then, will just have to be doubly good to make up for the missed day. No, that's impossible, but anyways... let's just get to the post.

Global warming is scary.
I don't want to die, but apparently if the world's temperature increases by just 6 more degrees (I think that's 6 degrees Fahrenheit. Crazy Americans, using your own personal temperature scale and confusing the heck out of the rest of the world... No, just kidding. I love you guys (most of the time)), then basically the temperature change will be irreversible and it'll all go to the dogs. And even now huge swathes of land are being taken up by the desert, and the sea level is rising, and oy oy oy, is this ever depressing. I feel like I should say something cheerier now. Okay, how about a cheesy joke?
"I used to want to be a banker," say's one guy to another, "but then I lost interest. That career plan didn't make any cents!" 
Or... "What's stone's favourite kind of music? Rock and roll!"
Okay, now that you're all rolling on the floor laughing at how lame those jokes were, let's get down to business. Global warming sucks, but I have some ideas on how to combat it. And so, let's get to it.

1. I'd create "international walking day" in which every car in the world would be banned for one day every week. This, of course, excludes police cars and ambulances, although these wouldn't be needed as much on this day as there will be no car accidents to deal with.
2. I would make it illegal to have any lightbulbs except the ultra fuel-efficient ones up for sale in stores.
3. I'd make some home modifications to every house in the world, funded by the government. Specifically, I'd install a couple solar panels on the roofs of every house and install lighting stems that automatically switched on when you came into the room and switched off when you went out.
4. I'd invest in green projects. I heard in school a while back that in some american place or other they were making a road out of solar panels. The theory was, this would collect energy and divert it into people's homes. People would then use the energy supplied to their houses to charge up their electricity powered cars. By the way, did you know that in places like Alberta, where coal is burned to produce electricity, electric cars aren't actually much more fuel efficient then gas powered cars?
5. I'd make earth day an international holiday.
6. Car's would have solar panels in their roofs, and be significantly lighter then they are today so as to be more efficient. On a side note, have you ever wondered why people don't cover cars with a big rubber strip? That way, if you got into a car crash, you'd just bounce away like bumper cars.
7. On another side note, have any of you heard of eco terrorism? This is where environmentalist groups go a little overboard and basically use terrorism to stop the degradation and destruction of the environment. I heard some news story on this years back when one eco terrorist group attacked some ski resort and tried to blow it to smithereens. Ouch. No, I am NOT saying that we should do this to stop global warming, FBI man who found the keyword terrorism in this blog post. Just chill, man.

And that's it! Now, I've got a fair amount to do tonight, folks, so I'll just skedaddle as quick as I can. Thanks for reading, and I'll see you in a few days. Bye!

-Mark